Wednesday, August 05, 2009

anger, dismay - a perfect morning

i was a bit stressed, but the morning was great! i woke up around 7.45, had a long and excellent breakfast while reading paradise lost and scribbling furiously...

on my way home to change into uniform i was struck by the sudden, searing heat. an omen? i got there on time, found myself quite comfortable... and the talking until the test itself was mostly alright....

...

not only did i discover that i've had wool pulled over my eyes, i've also discovered that i'm possibly the dumbest person i know. regardless of the earlier regret being very well-placed and having it sharpened today, i have learned that i really do care too much and it is clear to me that that will only cause me grief.

but hey, i can't really stop caring. i can't stop being a good person, and i can't not do what i believe is right. so as of this moment, i'm making a conscious decision to not care about my inability to fail to live up to my own expectations.

i'm still upset, but that last sentence just made my day better.

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