less than perfect

i went for a walk, and ended up on the beach still feeling really bad. after sending my flatmate an apology and talking with singer on the phone, i took a slow walk home that afforded me some time to process things before continuing the discussion with the kid.

i do take things out of proportion, and i do have to learn to accept that not everything can be the way i want it. i have to relax when people make mistakes, and i have to learn to pause when i'm angry.

and i know that that's not going to be an easy set of lessons to internalize.

either way, it's been a long time since i've shed any tears, and tonight i've upset myself that much with my own behaviour. no wake-up call is ever pleasant, and i feel like a complete asshole.