mental diarrhea

aside from the soon-to-be-described event, last night was great... okay, also not counting the horrible reaction i had to the quantity of caffeine i required to deal with not having gone to bed early.

matbucha, for all their displayed lack of marketing skills in choosing a name for themselves^*, are an awesome group. the sound system wasn't too good, but even that couldn't detract from the highly skilled and inspired use of bagpipes, didgeridoos, pipes, flutes and an ensemble of oddities (including the people) accompanied by solid electronica.

and now for the main story:

on the way out of jaffa (and i don't like jaffa), we were faced with a situation in which a girl needed protection from some ars, and i really didn't know what to do.

i lie - i did know what to do, but in the heat of the moment i wasn't sure enough of myself to go ahead and do it. i can make all the excuses in the world, but the truth is that i let the bastard go when i should have beaten him senseless. my problem is that i think too much, and i'm incredibly upset and disappointed with myself for not acting immediately and correctly.

it doesn't help that i won't let that happen again, because i let it happen now. so aside from feeling sick this morning (leftovers from last night's imbibing coffee and redbull), i'm also right pissed off.

^* look it up in google if you're not sure why it's a bad name