keys, codes and a squeaky duck

my new ringtone - i really love my phone, everything about it is great! except for the battery life, although my mum says that that should improve now that i've dropped the bluetooth.

aside from today's twitter-style posts, i had lunch with lake and *just* (like, with two minutes on the clock) made it back to base in time for the briefing. we then sat around for an hour or so until the bus arrived to take us to the range.

it was very cold on the range, and i didn't have a jacket. this is because my team-mate didn't think i'd have a problem with icy-winds. desert people, i tell you. i got back to tel aviv around 21.45, and chatted with my mum outside for half an hour while still in my working uniform - it was nice to wear it again :P

have keys, will travel

the negative excitement for the day is over, now for lunch and hurrying back to base.

i suddenly understand the whole twitter thing.

getting keys?!

i'm on my way right now to meet the seller and get the keys - the bank WASN'T supposed to make the transfer yesterday and my current status is officially "no cash, no apartment".

let's just say that i'm a little nervous right now.

okay, i'm freaking out a bit. at least i was fortunate enough to score a ride to tel aviv.

ashamedly ungreen

i don't have the energy to go out. this is really sad.

i have acquired a duck, however. a big, squeaky duck (with two squeaky ducklings). i have watched more battlestar galactica. i have turned a cd into bubbles. i have been glad to see the sink filled with dishes and know that very soon i won't have to worry about that sort of shit any more.

speaking of which, my landlady has agreed to give me the key for measurements on friday, which makes my day less complicated.

my eye's scratchy, and i've bitten my tongue. enough! to bed with me!

phone post

so i had a good day today - ignoring the pain after last night's entertainment...

the final payment went through today! And the army is trying REALLY hard to get me to sign on more - a pity that i'm going to have to do the politically suicidal thing by refusing.

i consumed a frightening amount me chocolate today.

it's st. patrick's day and the only irishnan i know isn't celebrating.

yesterday i saw a huge vehicle branded "schwing" -concrete pump - i found it amusing.

a little bit overboard,

although i've now realized something that's been missing from my life. aside from generous quantities of carrot cake, vodka and that english lime cordial we grew up with in south africa, a few very expensive rum & cokes and a great night out with wr celebrating ta2's birthday (i'm a bit embarrassed, after too much to drink i flipped a word on my contribution to his birthday card that made it seem a bit... stupid).

lake came up with a superb solution to one of the problems i was having with the phone, and the rest will have to be solved in time...

and it only got worse

i'm crap at keeping my cool. in fact, it's evening and i still haven't stopped stressing. the funny thing is that the prep went quite well (in its annoying way) :P

two funny things (first one's nystire's) to say at the beginning of a polygraph:
1) "don't worry guys, i've brought my own truth serum to save you the energy of preparing it"
2) "i have to apologize in advance, i pee when i get nervous"

i got back to base around 3pm, had coffee and left just after 5pm. not exactly the most productive day ever. now i'm waiting for my phone to arrive, then i'm off to lake's because i need a drink and i'm not supposed to partake alone.

hormone overdose

i have woken up in blind, abject terror with cortisol rushing through my system: and that's just in preparation for the preparation for undergoing a polygraph.

i find this really absurd - i know it's bullshit and i know that i need to be scared in order for it to work, which only means that they've found their perfect subject. shit, they should bring in their rookies to show them an ideal model.

---
i went with an old friend to the ilke last night, we got to waxing political and had a rather depressing conversation.

he made a valid point though, one that i'd actually forgotten about: we need stress and challenge to survive as a nation, so if we ever did have peace we could count it as a failure.

it doesn't work??

well, then. i was actually in great shape this morning, even ran into the really pretty american girl from half a year ago and had my eyes open :)

today was... frustrating. every time we figured something out something else crashed. in fact, it wasn't until the last hour of the day that we gave up and switched to a different system: and that one worked beautifully :S

so it's been a really long and irritating day, but i've finally managed to test something that i last touched two weeks ago and it worked smoothly, first time ^_^

just got home, now to grab some food before going out drinking again. tomorrow's giving me a late start, may as well make the most of it.

back to the grindstone

i just watched the fifth episode of battlestar galactica, and it really is as awesome as everyone said. that's a bummer for me, because now i *have* to watch the rest. i don't wanna be addicted to television stuff!

i went for a few rounds of vodka and rum with some friends to a really nice bar, stopping for fairly good sushi on the way and still soaking up v is for vagina - it's such a strong album, and perfect for sing-alongs.

i had a very practical discussion with my mum earlier, i've realized that although all the planning we did makes sense and is valid but is too vague. i actually need to know exactly where i want to put everything once i've moved, and i think i'm going to need to live there for a bit before sending off construction requests.

at least, aside from media and books, most of my needs are fairly basic.

in the meanwhile, another week has officially begun.

slow saturday

i've done a lot of sleeping today, and i think i may be sick again. i *just* got over being sick a week ago, so this really isn't good.

219 252 219
144 172 252
i've been playing with measurements, but i'm finding it hard to concentrate. i caught an episode of battlestar galactica instead, and am now on to another one before caffeine-ing up and trying again.

gorgeous, faithful, haunting

*i* just watched the watchmen. phenomenal! eerily faithful, it captured the essence of the story and it felt (and i watched it in imax) like i was staring at moving pages of the book itself. it was a beautiful experience, and the only thing that's upsetting is that i have to wait for the dvd so that i can see the pirate story come to life.

i believe that alan moore can feel honoured by zack snyder's effort, and i personally wouldn't care to see anybody else's interpretation.

---
i woke up late this morning, having slept way too much and forgetting to set an alarm, and spent a while chatting with the orange representative and ordering my 6310i's upgrade to the n95.
i cannot express how sad it makes me that the time has come.
i was pleasantly surprised with the service i got, it's extremely rare in israel to be impressed - and i definitely was.

speaking of service, i made my way to ramat gan (having a long chat with my cousin from the kibbutz along the way) and visited ceramic shops. the first store i actually had to search (unsuccessfully) for assistance, and when i found someone who worked there she couldn't be bothered to help me out.

in contrast, at the second place i went to one of the guys offered to help me and he provided me a personal workshop on the hows of all the fixes i plan on doing. it's not going to work out exactly how i wanted, but now i understand why and what i have to do.

a) get plumber in for a quote
b) buy tiles
c) have plumber construct extension to shower base
d) get measurer (yes, they have those) in to *gasp* measure
e) wait up to 21 workdays
f) have shower doors installed

so it's really a good thing that my rent here's paid up until may.

i found the place i want to make my cupboards (that'll take a month to organize, so i have to work on the sketches tomorrow), and then headed off to meet up with lake for breakfast. she was out walking the dog, and i discovered that the fire-exit affords an absolutely magnificent view of tel aviv; once i have my new phone i'm going to make a point of taking a shot or two.

we went to jaffa, an area i don't usually enjoy being in. breakfast was good and we saw many interesting flea-market items along the way - including a freakin' wagon that would go perfectly on my patio ^_^

while talking over lunch i misunderstood something lake said, and got a confused image of a rehab for people addicted to riding horses, or a rehab for addicted horses...

after a stop for bags of coffee grains we came back to tel aviv, and i came home to watch and be impressed by a couple of episodes of battlestar galactica and continue torturing myself with scales (i suck so much!). eventually i crashed for an hour, then the mongoose came over and sat with me while i gulped down some coffee before we went off to the imax.

i am horrified to have learned of freshmeat's behaviour, his behaviour is a lot uglier than i understood at first and i'm trying to convince the mongoose to take legal action for libel. that kid is disgusting.

---
i'm blown away by the movie, and getting into the shower and then bed.

trade-off

defiance is a great movie, i highly recommend it. i'm disappointed about not going to see watchmen.

did somebody say DISCO PIXIE?!

today was hard - i couldn't concentrate at all. i still can't.

i informed my SC of my decision to leave, and he told me to make doubly sure because if he writes down now that i don't want to take up a position as TL then i won't get another chance. i told him to write away.

the girl in our unit who still hasn't given up on me approached me with a wonderful idea for a video, so i finally entered into talks with orange about upgrading my phone.

today i took three big steps towards my apartment:
1) i contacted a painter and arranged to meet
2) i ordered the internet connection (yes told me that if i'm not paying for television, then they don't want my business - so i went with hot)
3) i handed over the final documents to the mortgage bank and am now awaiting final approval

i didn't enjoy what i managed to do work-wise, and i consumed way too much sugar. lunch sucked.

i called up the mongoose today to organize a mission to see watchmen, and it's not looking good because he discovered that freshmeat went out with his ex-girlfriend last night. that's really not good.

the goto guy had a couple of hours to kill in tel aviv, so i introduced him to great calzone and amazing frozen yoghurt, then took him for a quick tour through the museum gardens. he seems to have enjoyed it.

punked

how did i forget to mention this? yesterday, while packing up after my duties had been attended to, some kid with a red mohawk (in the army? eh?!) sidled up to me, made crazy eyes and began screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" while waggling his tongue and shaking his head.

i looked up.
"stop that."
"are you threatening me?"
"no, i want you to stop?"
"don't you want to fight me?"
"no, i want you to stop."
"take it easy, let's be friends"
"you take it easy"
"are you threatening me?"
"no, YOU'RE threatening me. that's what you're doing, with your crazy eyes and screaming in my face."

the entire time he was stuffing his face with popcorn, with kernels falling about all over the place. he then began showing off his knuckles (apparently he'd just been in a scrap) and tried to convince me of his punkness.

i try. i swear i do. i didn't complain, i didn't even identify myself as an officer. poor bastard's missing a few, i reckon.

eatliz @ the barbie (as usual)

the performance was electric - they were missing a guitar but made up for it with an unbelievable saxophonist! and great costumes :)

i got there alone and early, a great combination to nod off and come up with great ideas for the new apartment: like where the posters will go, and how the shelves will look, and how i'm going to have to organize a mini-entrance table with tiny bottles labelled "eat me" and "drink me" ;)

the taxi driver turned off the meter when i told him that i wasn't prepared to pay more than NIS 25... and then got all pissy because i had more money than that, i just didn't want to give it to him. i wanted to (and then did) use it to buy myself some ice-cream for the rest of the walk back.

the anti-diet

day two: success.

in other arbitrary news, one of my flatmates bought hand-soap. i'm blown away.

a closed door

i watched the first hour of defiance, read a few pages of the metamorphosis, had a cheering-up chat with my mum, and spilled ginger ale everywhere (shouldn't have had the tequila *before* opening the bottle).

i got a late start this morning, and actually got a lift with somebody else from our unit when my usual ride failed to pitch. that was lucky!

i got some real work done this morning by accident, unfortunately i didn't do anything different from what i attempted yesterday. not satisfying to discover that it was a wasted effort because the testing system sucks.

at 9.30 i put on black pants and a white shirt (that felt weird!) and went off to be briefed, but after watching us hang around for a while they told us to come back an hour later. i went back, and romped at my desk for a bit (the new headphone policy coupled with my team-mates sitting with their backs to me affords a good opportunity to bop my head wildly) before returning again.

the briefing was simple. man a table. take fake money. if the person who paid wins, give him a multiple of that money. repeat if necessary.

i got the table that attracted the dodgiest that the base had to offer, some real weasels. i was on a bit of a downer, but their antics were so stupidly amusing that i actually started enjoying myself.

then came the competition for best-dressed. it was a traumatic experience, one of the worst performances i have ever seen and by the time i snuck out i was practically drooling and my head was spinning from the sheer... i don't know, there were too many things wrong and unfunny with what they were doing. it was quite surreal.

i poured over code for the rest of the afternoon, pausing for a good chat with my previous TL (he made me feel really, really good about moving into my new apartment and after grilling me about my issues with our section he was fairly supportive and understanding), and a pointless half an argument with the idiot girl who's responsible for the poor sod i was assigned to make up riddles for being very confused.

that's a horrible sentence. let me try again.

every year we have a gift-trading thing that goes on for a few days, and whoever you (secretly) give your gifts to has to identify you in time to give you a gift on the last day. i participated in this a couple of years ago. it was awkward, primarily because i'm not israeli-born and both my sense of humour and my puzzles contain leaps. israelis don't deal well with things that aren't direct, kind of like most americans i know.

so this year, i told the organizers that i wouldn't be participating because it's not fair or fun for whoever my target is, and after giving up begging and pleading they went so far as to lie to me, telling me that this year we wouldn't be doing the anonymous thing so no riddles would be necessary.

so now the aforementioned poor sod was left in the uncomfortable position of not being able to identify me even after he'd received assistance from a number of other brainiacs (and i'm not being snide, they're very smart people) in his section, and on sunday i'm going to have to sit with him and explain the riddles.

...

i have a sense of closure now that's i've decided, once and for all, that i won't be signing. i'm counting down already.

i'm going to see eatliz again now, i hope i won't be going alone.

last.fm is fantastic!

run down

i ran the same time as usual but twice the distance and with a constant scowl. it was the breathing exercises and ministry mantras that kept me going, and more than once i had to resist the urge to run off the track, get on my knees, raise my hands to the skies and yell "NO MORE!!!"

let's just say that i am definitely, 100%, without any doubt in my mind, never signing on again. it doesn't matter the incentive, i cannot handle being an island of sanity in a reality that's defined by some of the most highly qualified and intellectually capable morons around.

i'm actually beginning to identify with nystire, and i'm angry because i'm starting to see that the only way that i'm going to be able to retain my mental health over the course of the remainder of my service is to put my headphones on and pretend that i can't see anyone.

it has begun. now i'm going to be just like the jerk - maybe he's not really a jerk? maybe he's just another unfortunate sod that gave up? it just crossed my mind that if i'm ever this unhappy even when i get to my dream-job, i'm going to just give it up and do something else. there is no point in being upset to the point of distraction.

and i was mostly kidding last night when i suggested that i'm on the path to becoming an alcoholic.

---
last night i spent an hour or so making a costume that turned out absolutely hysterical! unfortunately, as funny as it is it doesn't actually look like anything identifiable, so not really appropriate for this holiday. i'll try again tomorrow morning. i couldn't set up my webcam to take photos. that sucks.

a couple of hours of organizing, and i sent off an sms to tell ze germans that i was on my way - the response was a cool "cool". it takes me twenty minutes to walk north, the idea being that we'd all hop a taxi together to go south... only when i got there, i rang the doorbell and nobody was home to reply. i called to find out what was going on and they'd already arrived, having forgotten about me.

i've been trying to figure out how to take this without being offended, but i really can't. how the hell do you abandon a friend, and not even have the basic decency to send him a message so that he'll turn around?

instead, i went to ta2's party and mistakenly had a couple of drinks with ptsd. he can out-drink me by a long shot, and she him, so let's just say that i wasn't ship-shape by whatever hour i stumbled out of there. wr arrived at some point, and it was good to see him, but ptsd is - on a verbal level, at least - aware that i'm not interested and she still keeps flirting. i find that quite off-putting.

i woke up smarting, but managed to sort myself out and made it to the lawyer's office on time. i finished there quickly, and then made the mistake of missioning (and it's a mission and a half) to the mortgage bank, which was closed for the holiday. that was very frustrating, and i should have known better.

all the running around did give me an opportunity to catch up on the penny arcade / pvp dnd podcast - really entertaining. i'm going to have to look for a game at some stage.

the network went down today so we didn't get any work done, and when it was up i had so much difficulty that it didn't really matter anyway. and besides, i was having too much fun with my section-mates :S

i did get invited for the polygraph, though - the guys were laughing hysterically because i gave the girl who called me up a really hard time: "don't you guys have, like, a brotherhood of security that operates throughout the army?"
she took it well... the only thing i could've done better would have been: "don't worry about it, i know why you're inviting me and i'm ready to confess to everything!"

i am feeling a bit better, but i've got to go shopping now so that i can have dinner. at least the shower's still holding up. with all the mess from the costuming yesterday, i find my room looks like a reflection of my mind: cluttered and confused.

don't drink the water

don't drink the water. don't speak. don't laugh. don't cry. don't work. work. don't work. don't fraternize. suffer. be happy. don't share. don't understand. don't sleep. sleep. don't sleep. lie. don't lie. decide. don't think. don't be a drone. don't keep an identity. don't drink the water.

i'm feeling bitter, angry, depressed, and morbidly alone. today is hate israelis day, and it's hate the world day, and i'm praying that if i go for a run i'll clear some of the turbulence.

stay in your fucking box. don't drink the fucking water.