strategy

i have a six-item list of instructions to get my head out of my ass, and i have them in front of me. one item that's not on the list but that appears to be a result of making and using the list is "be present", a little bit of an attitude adjustment is actually taking the edge off the really scary shit and letting me do what needs to be done. i haven't been "now" in two years, it's rather refreshing.

---tuesday 11th:

a much improved night having understood that sleeping on my back with our current "orthopedic" "memory foam" pillows is worse than on my side, up a few times with stuffy noses (mr smear too) but generally feeling better in the morning

an improved morning attitude on my part, dropping mr smear off and picking up my new iphone protector (redpepper, it's actually way better than the lifeproof in most ways!) and then coming home to heavy construction noise

apartment hunting, contacting the israeli consulate and receiving unwelcome instructions, picking up mr smear and heading to the gym

new headphones packed into their box with such optimization that you can never put them away again, just enough time for a jog and a shower before racing off to the dentist

almost two hours for an hour long appointment because mr smear pooped and lost his turn, by the time the dentist was ready to see him again he'd had enough, rendering the entire hour pointlessly exhausting

home, then heading out from a fight to see an apartment and the agent turned out to be the mother of the kid whose party we crashed a while back, the place wasn't the best fit for us and an awkward moment was had later when another agent with a property in the same block took my number

a mostly pleasant evening, an efficient bedtime, leftovers and an episode of bojack horseman (not bad, not amazing either), and falling asleep not long into netflix's castlevania (stunning)

wednesday 12th:

up about five times due to weaning failure, angrily giving up on sleeping and starting the day with a puppy documentary which was great until the parts about circus training (fuckers) and the dog bakery (that shit's so offensive i don't even know where to begin, there are people and animals starving ffs)

i dropped mr smear off - he bawled pitifully and i waited a few minutes to get the all-clear before leaving - then spent the following three hours actually getting stuff done. gd and i hunted for our old memory foam pillows, extending the search and finding them in my mom's storage, picked up fluoride tablets and then went to the school to find mr smear playing adorably with his new best friend; it took us a while to cajole and coerce the two before we could get them out of the sandpit and home for a nap

going down, but not without a fight

getting more stuff done, resting a bit, waking painfully from deep sleep to a stressful rush to ready an irritated mr smear for photographs at a talent agency

a very welcoming experience, followed by a quick visit to the cool clothing store next to the building i grew up in, paying the parking attendant before checking out a boardgame cafe before heading home for a not-unpleasant evening

beginning hidden figures, playing a little tekken, strategizing for a personal project

thursday 13th:

an hour and a half of clearing my desk and prioritizing and organizing, including posting this and going to bed.