Wednesday, August 31, 2016


friday 19th:

the last day with the handyman, excellent quality work, an interesting character and doing us a huge favour sorting out our shelving

mr smear's long nap after a long night's sleep, finally getting the router positioned correctly, returning the utopia containers, toasted vegan cheese sandwiches for lunch

getting lost at the mediclinic, an hour and a half tired and running after mr smear, coming home over the nek

setting up the hifi and playstation, mom visit, dinner in front of penny dreadful, crashing early

saturday 20th:

a decent night's sleep but waking up emotionally exhausted, struggling with wall saddle failure and general sense of humour failure

mr smear's first swimming lesson! he took to the water well, but another kid was just screaming constantly and it made the overall experience considerably less joyful

the oranjezicht farmer's market was nice, walking to the v&a food court for something a little more filling, mom joining us for a short frozen yoghurt and coffee mission before we did some quick shopping, avoiding an incident with an asshole and driving through to builder's warehouse where they didn't have the shelves we needed but we made do with what we could find anyway

shelf installation, showering, powering up the home theatre for the first time, returning to netflix

awful rls

sunday 21st:

it would have been an amazing night's sleep if i hadn't still been suffering from the remnants of the cold, mr smear practically slept through

getting up at 6.30am to download crash bandicoot warped and abe's exoddus on our night allowance, beginning the day with pokemon and doing what was hopefully the last bit of drilling and coming up with an awesome idea for a reality show with gd and taking advantage of mr smear napping to get back into my telephony project

big shopping in the rain

mr smear actually walking around for the first time (as opposed to a step or two here and there), mom's visit and turmeric latte and going to her place to find that we hadn't left behind what we thought we had

dinner and awful rls again (desperation)

monday 22nd:

sleeping through the night (mostly), a busy morning, the first session with a new therapist, mr smear passing out on the way home, being too tired to take advantage of his nap, hitting the gym with low fuel, rushing home for a landlord inspection, a busy mr smear, dinner and some more stranger things (getting interesting)

getting most of my work done, anatomy of an epidemic coming in handy for an advice request

tuesday 23rd:

installing ffix, converting anime for projection

a long night of mr smear's discomfort compounded by our own allergies

a well timed poop as we arrived at the mall, leaving management a subtle message about the state of their baby changing station

lunch, an afternoon trying to rest and work and getting very little done and suddenly feeling awful in the evening

awful turning into nightmare, really bad food poisoning / gastro

wednesday 24th:

no sleep, weak and unable to so much as sip water until the afternoon

a good excuse to watch plenty of miyazaki

thursday 25th:

still weak, but able to eat some crackers and bread and a little muesli... a long day alternating between resting, taking care of mr smear and deep misunderstandings

a mistaken walk on the promenade, projection and Choices

mom helping out, miscommunication, a Choice to break the camel's back and going to bed worn out and unhappy

friday 26th:

porridge, electrolytes and aggressively scratching the itch
rescuing from drowning
mr smear napping through most of the final physio session
knead, unstocked wellness warehouse, waterfront mission, rushing home to pack up the projector and give it to the courier

still feeling awful the whole time

mr smear dancing to our music, prepping for friday night dinner, leering staff at pick 'n pay
a very nice dinner, leaving much later than anticipated

saturday 27th:

still feeling awful and barely sleeping due to painful rls

mr smear's second swimming lesson, recognizing japanese and trying not to stare, overheating

the waterfront on the last weekend of the month AGAIN, mr smear sleeping for three hours while we navigated through mobs of maul people; purchasing his first lego (duplo) set!

breastfeeding in the car after paying for parking and still making it out in time, picking up mom and enjoying a lovely lunch at posticino

finally beginning to feel better

showering, shopping and reporting sexual harassment to a manager, feeding causing a neck spasm to upset the whole house, finally getting mr smear to bed and then being hit by severe rls again

questionable leftovers, not quite throwing up

sunday 28th:

restless in the middle of the night
mr smear too, hating on the tooth fairy
early up anyway in shitty weather to go with my mom to the hout bay market and the world of birds. a chilly small market experience (stunning art, buying a balance board), then the weather improving dramatically for the many amazing bird and monkey exhibits that we'll definitely be returning to
fantastic indian food on the way home (with only a minor incident of mr smear puking on gd) and overeating and coming home and playing with mr smear and protoplasm joining us and drinking tea on top of orange juice to make myself sick again...

mr smear misbehaving before bed (meaning hurting me), bad parenting (third night in a row we've forgotten to brush his teeth before his last feed)

gd and home security, going to bed early

monday 29th:

getting work done and it going really well after a few days' break
mr smear still having a hard time sleeping

getting to bed around 5.30am, but no sleep because that's when mr smear really started suffering

early to the doctor's, then a therapy session, then a visit to the chiropractor then home for a nap, struggles with a challenging one year old (aggressive food throwing), slowly getting through chores (learning about duvet folding)

homework until midnight

tuesday 30th:

satisfying work, taking advantage of my remaining bandwidth, getting to bed at a reasonable time. an easier night, though not easy

waking up feeling disconnected

political tension with my uncle, literally taking an hour to extract ourselves and get to the waterfront for the start of a particularly unsuccessful shopping expedition that would include kloof street and piazza st john's and regent road, ending with serious aggravation and exhaustion on all three of our parts

small chores and lots of food

wednesday 31st:

an almost full night's sleep for the lot of us and a calm morning

Friday, August 19, 2016

1mm below the surface

wednesday 27th july:

great bag work at the gym, lots of elliptical
mom visit, exhausted mr smear, everyone going to sleep and running out of internet

going to bed early

thursday 28th:

waking up in the middle of the night stressing over not working and irritated feet

discipline and chores conflict

the gym: why don't my fighting shorts fit?! and why didn't i tighten my running shoes before running? otherwise it was a pretty good session.

home, putting mr smear down for his nap, bathing him when he woke up, a big dinner watching some lock, stock and two smoking barrels, explaining to vegans why vegan cat food needs to be animal tested

finally getting a handle on the mechanism of the project i've been working on

friday 29th:

learning that mercury levels in south african fish are more than twice as high as the maximum safety level, and that the effects on cognitive function are dramatic and immediate as well as long term

waking up from an amazing dream about getting my citizenship status sorted out and realizing it wasn't real

a solidly damaged right arm, whether nervous or muscular

physio, swimsuit shopping fail rage, frustrated plans and lack of communication, a quick mom visit and getting mr smear into bed and chatting with the mongoose and call-a-pizza and the rest of lock, stock and two smoking barrels and scripting router reboots with imacros

saturday 30th:

four hours of getting shit done
four hours of sleep
waking up on the wrong side of the bed

switching cars and meeting yet another man who married a canadian and came back

mr smear needing an emergency clean and getting his first proper shower (as opposed to me holding him under the water a little) - way easier than bathing him!

coffee and spar mission taking way longer than planned and the latter being a rather unpleasant experience

*trigger warning* being extremely satisfied with myself for catching every drop of vomit in my cupped hand when he repeated his earlier choking performance

explosive afternoon and the neighbour's overwhelming sulfur stench, strolling mr smear past my mom's and along the dusk promenade

a tough time getting mr smear to sleep

sunday 31st:

mom not answering her phone
the constantia mission
exclusive books shock and re-inspiration
coffee, nursery fun with mr smear
fantastic lunch
emergency napping
mr smear's second shower
working until thoroughly out of internet

monday 1st august:

waking up early and finally getting the job done (not polished, but done) before going to bed and not sleeping until mr smear had decided he'd had enough rest

dentist surprise, not the same tooth
don't tell me our previous landlord hasn't been in for more than ten days

getting things done until chiropractor (and book store) time, running into the acupuncturist whose girlfriend is a "nutritionist" who does shady things to enable people who don't want or know how to eat well

the gym, starting to seriously lose my cool with our previous landlord and his cronies

mr smear going to bed early after a shower we both needed, composing a threatening email with my mum, coming home to a very quiet household

working until midnight

tuesday 2nd:

mr smear turning into a little rocket after twelve hours of sleep

when my wife is in trouble, *i* have to sleep on the couch. good timing, before a massage.

the massage was painful and literally shocking


walking with shadowslight and hcc, sunset photo competitive, business strategy and a visit from my mom and a struggle to get mr smear to bed

wednesday 3rd:

a nightmare morning, finally giving up on a strongly demotivating note
dropping off gd in town, voting with my mom, breakfast while scouting at loaves on long (which is great, but would have been even better had my tooth not been so sore), a walk around the surprisingly closed company gardens, rushing home with a screaming child, tearing my nice trousers in my rush to check on him, rushing back to town to hit a post-accident detour and get lost in a parkade
a crazy afternoon of keeping mr smear occupied while gd got her hair done, changing him twice on a particularly challenging chair

my first kisses from him while he was on my shoulders

the full system shock of hanging around for half of a 9-5 hair job, getting home efficiently and ordering a giant call-a-pizza salad that i couldn't properly enjoy because my tooth hurt so much

bathing mr smear, putting him to bed fairly easily

testing my solution: success!

the end of sphere, the brilliant season finale of preacher

strategizing, then crashing early

thursday 4th:

another early morning, an entertaining hour with mr smear in the dentist's waiting room
newport deli disappointment, good service but less than stellar food
a desperate nap, a busy while running after my son
struggling through rush hour traffic to get to the acupuncturist who didn't have what gd went for (and who was injured to the point of needing to go to the hospital), struggling through rush hour to get to the cape quarter, then coming home to take far too long to go to my cousin's whose father had just passed away


stopping in to talk about spiritual atheism
coming home to find gd done with her dreadlocks (so much for a full day during a hectic week for both of us and rather a lot of money)
terrible internet, then mr smear's first REAL tantrum that made us freak out thinking he was sick or injured rather than still hungry after three feeds... so much for valergan...

friday 5th:

slumlord deposit finally returned
waking up early, attempting to say something about cultural appropriation and being sidelined by a #blacklivesmatter nuance
rushing off to the dentist: it's not good news that he's not charging me if the reason is that he suspects i'll be needing a root canal treatment soon

rushing to the post office to pick up gd's new clipper the day after she desperately needed it
stopping at home, then moving on to the physio; i'm apparently "rain man" regarding nutrition :P

pointing out the white female michael jackson at the mall; an excellent lunch at knead, home to feed mr smear, not enough time to do either of the two things we needed to do because gd had an appointment that the doctor didn't respect

a conference call, shower time and feeding mr smear with two spoons and dinner with mom and unnecessary fighting

saturday 6th:

mr smear's first birthday!
methodist church memorial
furniture shopping for my mom
dragonfire reconnections
cousins for a wonderful afternoon/ evening, correcting a misconception about my brother, the freezing cold and a quick spar run

sunday 7th:

rls trauma
waking up dull, a taste of evangelion and hunting a projector, last minute clothing shopping
a 90th birthday party and loads of family, eating my favourite "forbidden fruit" (things gd's allergic to but there wasn't any other food for vegans)

nutrition and gd explaining why advising someone to drink from a straw might encourage unhealthy behaviours
protoplasm's visit, third time discussing conway's game of life in a week and daniel burnstein's new physics model

crashing early, exhausted

monday 8th:

a mostly decent night's sleep, the dermatologist visit, a gym mission, working hard on the wrong thing

tuesday 9th:

another difficult night

mr smear's first step! and taken with his grandmother present, too

brunch with an english cousin at plant, insane women's day traffic to signal hill, the closed crèche at the gym, lone parenting at a traditional kiddies party, arriving home to a stunning sunset feeling completely worn out

showering a one year old (as opposed to bathing) is an absolute pleasure; it's safer, it's physically easier, it uses less water

wednesday 10th:

when the workday begins at 4am
the window guys taking care of the door but not the windows, stressing about metal pieces on the floor; also taking up the whole day
a particularly slappy mr smear
illustrator costs shock
getting through the evening until mr smear fell asleep
the hogfather

thursday 11th:

4am starting again
my arm / shoulder getting much worse (rotator cuff)

google maps and my watch actually getting us to our destination on time! a walk around kenilworth (kenilworthless, more like) and the heavy shit smell of the strip mall

not being able to take my family to lunch in kirstenbosch because we didn't have a squishie because pick 'n pay doesn't stock their shelves

a waterfront mission for another badly stocked pick 'n pay, quick home stop and short crash and using caffeine to get me to the gym to read wired while gd exercised and mr smear got down and dirty in the crèche (why were his feet black?)

heading straight to the chiropractor who did a number on my neck and back and informed me that i'm now wearing a matching rotator cuff injury to gd's
vegan cheese alternatives and baby food and hebrew claws chef (hcc) dropping off a baby hiking carrier and a quick visit from my mom and gd making a great dinner and more the hogfather and SxS coming up with a decent interim solution for my modem resets and

friday 12th:

partially paying back my mom and struggling with my work machine

getting some good sleep, but still feeling tired (time for bloodwork, i guess), a chat with the boss, rushing off to the post office to pick up a solar charger with no instructions and awful UX design
a quick run to buy a telephone, a declined credit card, our physio confused about our appointment
"i have a land rover so i'll drive how i want" - MILLER WP

lunch, nap, shower, showering mr smear

a lovely dinner, leaving the gift at home and receiving a bunch

saturday 13th:

sleeping straight through my alarm for my midnight meeting with the big boss, mr smear waking up soon after finally connecting

sleeping deeply but not nearly enough by many hours, a super sneezy mr smear
heavy rain until we hit the vegan goods market, a small market filled with really great stuff and an old friend making not eggs
a quick drive home followed by waiting for my mom who was waiting for us, an unnecessarily difficult shelf shopping experience followed by an unexpectedly long canal walk visit with a somewhat unhappy mr smear - a national ps3 shortage and online credit card failures
borrowing drills and testing our new projector, thoroughly enjoying the hogfather together

sunday 14th:

rushing to buy a ps3 online
the shame of being angry with a one year old who's not feeling well for refusing to go to sleep and in particular for throwing himself backwards

6am wakeup and of *course* mr smear managed to get hold of the projector and throw it to the ground (roughly)
double-charged playstation frustration
supertongue - what's the word for someone who asks for advice and won't listen to it? oh, yes... an askhole.
breakfast with my uncle; family feud advice, relationship advice, nutrition advice
putting up a shelf according to bad instructions (precariously perched)
wearing myself out drilling into concrete
picking up tools and audio equipment from my mom
visiting my great aunt to give her her gift
last minute remote battery shopping and setting up the apple tv
going to bed super early

monday 15th:

four or five times up for mr smear but mostly sleeping the night away; feeling very conscious of just how worn out i am

why is it that everything that's taken ages to get around to only ends up demanding more time and energy: trying to get refunds for both the definitely NOT 3500 lumens projector and the accidental double payment for the playstation

dentist fun (mr smear with an "m" is still not mr spear)
paying the car rent
the chiropractor

a burned bridge at the gym (we lost a potential landlord R7000 because he did us a favour to get us in)
meeting my uncle reading a newspaper
mr smear needing to be held the entire time he was in the crèche

a big lunch, gd informing me that i'm a glutton (apparently a toasted cheese does not count as "dessert")

an exhausting, busy night, the crèche's too-tight diaper, bad timing in collaborating with SxS

tuesday 16th:

crashing early, completely overwhelmed by exhaustion
another difficult night, an early morning and a day spent taking care of mr smear while everyone else (gd, cleaning lady and handyman) took care of their tasks, becoming increasingly frustrated by the universe's interference with my napping
the physio, shopping, rushing to meet hcc in the park, a pleasant (but chilly) stroll and a gorgeous sunset, rushing over to my mom's with gd's soup and explaining to her why we're unable to keep our heads above water, rushing back to arrive too late and to struggle with an aggressively reluctant one year old to hit the bed

failing to seal the "fixed" door, the new video driver update crashing windows, failing to communicate with my wife, losing my shit and failing at life

wednesday 17th:

working until late for the first time in a while (a few days at least, but it's hard to keep track), mr smear getting through the night better but waking up with a runny nose again

a quiet, tense morning, little sleep but small victories, an amazing (long) lunch shared with mr smear - utopia and violife both make cheeses that all three of us enjoy!

paying for a nap (babysitter), a somewhat pleasant afternoon turned sour, a quick visit from my mom, open hostility, work / trying to get off web hosting that significantly increased its rates

thursday 18th:

making some progress in spite of a broken mouse handicapping me, getting to bed at 4am

early up for the handyman's last day
a big reset, a day of almost exclusively babysitting, the guilty satisfaction of receiving a ps3 when there's a national shortage

too cold for walking, big shopping, showering and dinner (and dinner swatting) and mom visit

friday 19th:

a couple of hours of work, a lot more thinking about it
early up, mr smear has been gaining weight fast and is now really difficult to carry
morning chores