Sunday, June 22, 2014

psychoses and psychopathies

it's a beautiful sunday morning, which we've begun by watching cartoons. trigun, to be precise ^_^


friday was a bit chilly.

in the late afternoon i headed to the starbucks across from gd's work to invest some time in my comics. it's a beautiful starbucks, but their power sockets are all impossible to plug in to. wtf? i had just enough juice to last me until a woman carted in her incessantly hacking little germ factory. she was apparently entirely oblivious to the fact that others were there, and after glaring hatefully at her for some time i packed up, held my breath and stalked past her and her poor kid to go wait at gd's work.

we went to p.m. for dinner; it was good, but not amazing. i don't think we were really in the right mood. we came home, and i put on elon gold - chosen and taken; gd enjoyed it, i enjoyed it for the second time. and then we were tired and went to bed. there's been a lot of that lately.


i slept well, did another huge load of dishes* and got frustrated with my iphone because it keeps pressuring me to update apps and then freezes halfway.

* they really seem to pile up with us. it's pretty much my only responsibility, though, so it's all good.

i had to stop off at my place on my way to yoga. i was quite tired and chugged down a mug of coffee. the park was great although there was a bit of a wind, a friend of my instructor joined us and the class was challenging but manageable. we were sitting and talking afterwards about our permit situations - they're both lebanese, and none of us wants to return to the middle east and we all have the exact same reasons...

my backpack - the one that served me on my post-army round-the-world and for the past year has been re-purposed as a sports bag - had acquired a severe gym smell and had been banned from entering gd's apartment. i felt awkward about stuffing it into a communal washing machine, stood around for a minute to make sure it wasn't damaging anything, and pulled it out twenty minutes later smelling really nice. so that was my household lesson for the day.

i spent the afternoon struggling with the laptop gd's brother gave her... not only is it a not-so-functional copy of windows xp, but it can't connect to any networks, it can't boot off usb, i cant install ubuntu using wubi and it can't read the original windows cd i inserted into the drive. to fix the second issue the only way to upgrade the bios is to install software that will download the appropriate files once they've been detected, so without internet access there's nothing i can do.

this is ridiculous.

i started watching great crimes and trials, the first two episodes about scary psychotic women, then when gd came home we enjoyed a double feature of blue jasmine and we need to talk about kevin, both deeply disturbing movies.

it was not a good time for me to be saying something that i really shouldn't have; i don't know what came over me but i shared something that was utterly inappropriate and brought about the darkest moment in our relationship that left us both feeling upset and insecure. for no reason, and with absolutely no added value, save to teach me a lesson about how dumb i can be.

we got over it, but i'm still feeling like an asshole.

other than a serious bout of rls, it was a pleasant evening and a good night's rest. and a long discussion wherein gd and i improved the way we talk about the nature of reality.

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