change is coming

since 4am i haven't been able to sleep. i'm either thinking about the work i have to do, the papers i haven't written, the amount i've been exploited over the past couple of years or the lack of real friendship from all the people whose weddings i've been going to.

the restlessness may well be caused by the summery heat, but the concerns are valid. i need to move on. i'm more than just a stepping stone for other people's pitifully small ambitions.

---
yesterday:

so i was kind of productive. and then i rested so that i'd have energy for the fast rollerblading group.

fast rollers. because you only realize how fragile life is when you find yourself careening towards a potential end at great speed. in the tuesday night group you don't have to worry about red lights as long as you're with the group, and after a long tour of running them i entered an enormous intersection with someone else just ahead of me, looking left and seeing that i was in the clear and stupidly trusting his judgement on the right. at the speed at which the driver leapt out at us he would have wiped me out for sure, only i was really, really fortunate that he saw us and braked hard.

instant focus, hyper-alertness, and shame. that was stupid and unnecessary risk :(

on a different note, that was tough - even more so than the marathon: i'm glad i started out on the "easy" route :P

---
science! although not quite related.

trials and errors is a pertinent piece on the limitations of human perception and cognition.

human-based transistors is inspiring work: there's so much potential in this project that i'm overwhelmed by it.

a friend of mine sent me a link to thrive telling me that it's got a lot of interesting points even if he doesn't agree with all of it. i was so put off by the quantum quackery, even without getting to the weird stuff, that i responded with thrive debunked. i have neither the time nor the patience for rubbish, and you shouldn't either.