it's been at least ten minutes, and i'm only now beginning to wake up from a terrible nightmare. it was so bad, in fact, that i've been unable to shake the feeling that it's a real external malevolent force, that it's something sharing the space i'm occupying.
this is an ugly feeling.
what reason could i possibly have for bringing out these emotions? what really scares me? how am i dreaming of ultra-violent assailants who refuse to die regardless of the kinds of wounds i inflict upon them? why am i forcing myself to watch my comrades die?
and why, when confronted with a forced image of empty midnight streets am i filled with a complete dread that gives me the sense that i could physically immerse myself in it? i actually felt that if i did so i would "open" my home to real bad spirits...
i don't know how to deal with such an irrational fear, especially not one so strong.
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