hormone overdose

i have woken up in blind, abject terror with cortisol rushing through my system: and that's just in preparation for the preparation for undergoing a polygraph.

i find this really absurd - i know it's bullshit and i know that i need to be scared in order for it to work, which only means that they've found their perfect subject. shit, they should bring in their rookies to show them an ideal model.

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i went with an old friend to the ilke last night, we got to waxing political and had a rather depressing conversation.

he made a valid point though, one that i'd actually forgotten about: we need stress and challenge to survive as a nation, so if we ever did have peace we could count it as a failure.