a two-week lifetime

the first of many. and they were jam-packed with all sorts of interesting bits, so it's a bit difficult to get it all out.

upon returning:

i was totally sick for a full week after getting back to base, and when that passed i was blessed with sinusitis that i still haven't gotten over. it's been a cruddy couple of weeks health-wise.

the constraints on the guard shifts multiplied and became more irrational as the weekend drew near, but i eventually managed to sort it all out. my tenacity in keeping the number of soldiers screwed to a minimum was appreciated.

we had a lecture on memorizing, and the majority of cadets requested that in the future that be presented first. the password for our group was designated that day: 315368477755199382. the stories behind that number are quite amusing and completely bat-shit insane.

one of our assignments was to design an "experience" for a giant group of course graduates, and we put our all into it. not only did i participate in constructing a paratrooper and his parachute (or is that the other way around?), but i went so far as to read a speech and handle the lighting at the same time, and this presentation was repeated for a number of groups. quite the challenge, and i only screwed up once... and one of the group was kind enough to return my torch from the-gods-know-where.

most notable: two of the groups were terrified by our creation, to the point where a number of graduates actually ran out in tears. we rule!

two related events caused a large amount of anxiety, anger, disappointment, envy and horror. the first was the unit assignments.

1. what you study in university does NOT dictate your career path.
2. your first job does NOT dictate your career path.
3. most people never figure out what they want to do with their lives, so if you have an idea - revel in that and deal with whatever gets thrown your way knowing that you can pick your path as soon as you have a choice.
4. your first post in the army is to prove yourself, so if you can manage something unrelated to your field you shouldn't have any problem getting the second post that you actually want.

that's the mantra i tried to instill, but some of the guys just didn't get it, and i find that a bit sad.

the second was being informed who's going through to the second phase of the course. a lot of the guys took it really hard, and i was uncomfortable admitting that i was one of the few who made it. the irony that until i knew for a fact, everyone else was convinced that i was going... except me.

and i'm still worried about last-minute changes.

the final fitness exam: this time i made no bones about displaying my hostility. i caught up with the examiners on the way to the course, and asked loudly if the ability to play word-games in hebrew was a part of the test. after receiving a solid "NO", i made sure that i understood all the rules. i had approximately forty minutes to complete a 4km walk without any fear of penalty.

pity i didn't think to bring my mp3 player. it took me exactly forty minutes to complete, and i sang all the way to keep myself occupied. i drove my commander nuts, she was hopping up and down and screaming at me to move faster. i [rather impolitely] informed her that i have two modes: "walk" and "run", and that i was more unhappy about not being able to run than she was.

i probably shouldn't have responded that screwing up her morning schedule by delaying everyone wasn't my problem.

one of the evenings was spent stargazing, and i managed to get comfortable with my starmap :)

we have a cultural problem: i've been raised to understand that when somebody raises his hand in a class, then whoever's speaking knows to give them a chance when they're ready. in israel, and specifically in the army, when somebody raises a hand it's understood as "answer me now, dammit!".

i've been shouted at enough times that i now only raise my hand when the speaker is done, but their attention always goes to the first person to speak and not to the hand.

i was raised to not shout out randomly. i've almost had to give up participating in class at all.

the last few days have been educational, trying to organize a trip to the firing range for one. i've just now been handed another obstacle, tomorrow's going to be stressed and interesting :S

flag-bearing for the graduates:
wow. i got to be a flag-bearer for the first time in my military career. not only do we have to roll down our sleeves in the height of summer...

on the morning of the ceremony we rehearsed for about three hours, and we all came away exhausted and with mild sunstroke. in the late afternoon, bombed, we all arrived to stand and wait for an hour with our brains pickling. the ceremony was going to be half an hour, easy-peasy, and we walked out ready to prove ourselves.

item one: the first rule is not to look at the feet of the guy in front of you. i broke that rule, and two of us were out of sync. oops.

item two: facing the sun is undesirable. i've seen the photos, we all look like we're about to launch an attack with our flags. or drop a load.

item three: a strong wind suddenly cropped up about twenty minutes into the ceremony. that hadn't happened during the three days of rehearsals, and none of us anticipated the sheer force of a heavy flag trying to fly away with a soldier attached. not flying away is one thing, but trying to stand still was painful.

item four: during the rehearsal, every one of the 150+ graduates' names were called. during the real event, every one of those names had a description attached, and the man in charge made a point of chatting with each and every owner of those names. the ceremony was extended by just over an hour.

item five: the band did not need to play a bonus song, requesting that everyone "sing along".

item six: being provided with a bottle of water sans explanation can lead to misunderstandings. when presented with the bottle i sharply moved it to my lips, took a quick slug, and passed it on. some of the guys were a little less focused, and stood there gulping down... the discipline officer was horrified.

item seven: the graduates skewed their formation so badly that it was unintelligible. at least we were okay, but we were already so confused that somebody had to tell us that later.

community service:
i only got hold of the right person on sunday, which was too late to actually do anything. that sucked :/

on both weekends our hours at the pool were great fun. a couple of nights ago we had a pool party to celebrate the summer, with the pool filled with pretty girls and crazy trance governing the night. it was a great experience!

the apartment:
during the last couple of weeks the story of our apartment has gone from bad to worse, and we're about to have a meeting to see if we're staying here or not. the problem is that if we can't agree on the terms, finding another place is a nightmare. even my agent gave up. and having exactly two weekends to pack up all my gear is unnerving to say the least.

and my mood was ruined on saturday when the kid updated me with distressing news, and the guys in my team for dance choreography [??!] thought that i was disappointed with them. well, i was, but not that disappointed.

the excitment:
crash bandicoot: warped! and abe's exoddus arrived along with noir while i was away, and i happily brought them all home, filled with elation... until i was informed that both the playstations in the apartment can't read NTSC... damn your silly american formats! PAL! PAL! PAL!

now i'm stuck with two games that i want but can't use, and i'm going to have to resell them on ebay and obtain my copies from somewhere else. this sucks.

went to the beach this afternoon to make up for a miserable morning / early afternoon on buses. one of the guys managed to get left behind mid-way... schmuck. army socks are freakin' EXPENSIVE.