black snow

it's not a healthy perspective that one gains while lying awake in bed in the dead hours of the morning, contemplating a tangled, nonsensical mess. happy valentine's day! mine began fretting over how we're going to keep pg with me, because the nasty official who welcomed her at the airport left a note in her passport that pretty much ensures (to my legally untrained mind) that she'll have to exit canada, even if she would otherwise be able to extend her visa legitimately.

you see, she gave us a number to call to extend pg's visa, which tells us to use the website. using the website means sending in an application package (like the one i had to submit for my work permit), which appears to be impossible in cases where the passport holder would normally not require a visa. so the note in her passport says "must leave by ______", and the website says "you don't need a visa".

seriously? and there's no human to talk to, apparently.

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i got home last night feeling like shit. apparently i've continued to come across aggressively when talking to cam2, even though i thought i'd toned it down. i finally got around to performing a code review, so that i could have an excuse to have a meeting with him. i think and hope that he understands that he needs to shape up or ship out. either way, there was at least one positive in that we established a set of steps he needs to take for each change he makes so that we can have some idea of how to review his work without wasting hours.

if a code review is complicated, something is very wrong indeed.

the other part of the dark sensation is a looming, inescapable deadline that i don't feel like we're ready for. i'm frustrated because a huge part of our lack of readiness is the cto and moonlighter not listening to me, and i'm terrified that if we don't pull this off everyone will look at me as a point of failure.

...

no credit card, no wall climbing, and stress up the wazoo. but the snow doesn't care; it just floats gently down around me.