jittery

i'd woken up yesterday afternoon (prior to posting) to an awful premonition regarding pg and her family: her phone was dead and her brother wasn't answering either so i couldn't make contact with her until late. that was horrible.

after posting, i turned off my pc and began opening mail that i hadn't had a chance to... a lot of it required an attention span, so i put it aside. i was tired, and tired in a do-nothing life-size sense of the word. i decided to settle down and watch adaptation. adaptation is both brilliant and awful, and made me think of where i am right now in life. i don't know how i feel about that, but i do know that feeling pressured by work that i don't particularly care about isn't what i desire.

a cousin i've never met called me up to arrange to meet; it was a bit awkward informing him that i've heard of his first cousin that lives here but have never met him.

i rewatched les douze travaux d'astérix, passing out at some point and hopefully absorbing something subconsciously. when i eventually forced myself off the couch to go to bed, i was suddenly glad that SxS had made other plans instead of us going to play pool.

i read a bit in bed, then entered that same deathly sleep i've been "enjoying" the past few days.

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today:

waking up early for introductory coffee with that cousin: it turns out we have a lot in common and to talk about, and so one cup of coffee turned into two. i walked away with quite a buzz - too much caffeine, perhaps? (almost) no such thing. the bit about 100 cups of coffee at once reminds me of the stoner monkey testing).

it was a quiet sunny sunday, the city filled with tourists, and there i was on my way to work. when i arrived there, after stopping to eat lunch on a bench, i discovered that there was no need to come in because everybody else was on a half-day.

meh.

so i did a few things, then came back home. now i don't know if i'm going to be productive or just rest. it's not good to feel like this, it's a depressed, irritable sort of mental exhaustion...