last breath

after getting a bit of seminar work done yesterday, i ran home to help pg with dinner. after eating well, we went to my place to pick up camping equipment, then returned to watch more one piece.

the tiredness that i've been feeling almost every night for the last while is unusual and devasting. it can't be good.

...

i woke up slowly after an uncomfortable sleep with uninteresting dreams, then read the first chapter of survival of the sickest: it's my new favourite book, and has made we wonder about my own iron levels. i found his explanation of evolutionary theory annoying, though - it's not that's it's wrong, per se, just that's it's misleading in the usual way. because most people don't get evolution. which is why i keep pushing darwin's watch.

---
it was a cool morning when i left the apartment, and the cries of "sir, can you help me" by the woman on the bench i walked past received an automatic reaction of "nope, sorry"... and then i started feeling really bad about having ignored her, then i tried justifying it... to no avail. i feel bad karma; not just from my not-in-time thought of responding with "in what way?" but also from breaking character: how much of what i do really fits with how i see myself? i know i shouldn't, but i try to maintain consistency and that's not easy when you're a human. and there are some failures (on my part) that hurt.

that led to the contemplation of other things that constrict my chest... not a pleasant way to begin the day.

---
work's been alright, actually - through all the frustration of yesterday and this morning we've discovered that i'm doing it right, and the installation i'm working against seems to be buggy. hooray, it's not my fault!

now for a holiday.

thought for the day: a game i'd like to play.