circles and squares

well, now that i'm posting this it looks like i've come full circle from three weeks ago...

wednesday 25th january:

getting mr smear to bed was fine, a longish meeting cut for dinner, getting back to work and mr smear beginning a long, tough mystery night.

thursday 26th:

starting the day on a sour note with a particularly runny-nosed mr smear, getting through the wait for the cleaning lady then climbing into bed for four glorious, drooling hours of rest

lunch, gd's exquisite végépaté ready around the same time mr smear woke from his nap, an afternoon of work and play, but mostly running after mr smear with tissues as his face leaked

mom bringing over almond milk and a serious conversation about business (interrupted by mr smear smacking me hard in the nuts with a wooden spoon), then taking gd to the wushu centre and mr smear to a disappointing vernissage and a more or less pleasant cider at clarke's; back home to find hot fusion closed, shave and shower and prepping a still snotty mr smear for bed, a big dinner and a couple of episodes of under the dome, considering going to bed but getting to work instead

friday 27th:

making an important discovery about edge.js and making good progress, mr smear still very snotty

at least an hour of getting him back to bed pre-dawn, then up at 8.30 to call him in sick again

little to no rest, then taking gd to the osteo and mr smear for a walk to wellness warehouse for coffee (and to be horrified by the book shelves filled with banting and raw vegan literature; hanging around the osteo's offices chasing mr smear up and down stairs

it's utterly demoralizing to invest half an hour in putting mr smear to sleep with no payoff except a pinched nerve; giving up, continuing to run after him for a while until eventually he passed out to trance...

mom coming over for dinner, getting a relatively early night

saturday 28th:

mr smear sleeping better but getting up early

bad writing upsets me, but never more than when it's out of laziness by writers who have clearly demonstrated how capable they are. we've been watching trollhunter *SPOILER ALERT* and it's been consistently amazing, right until the point where mom gets tangled up with angor rot. and magically becomes utterly and unbelievably stupid enough to mess everything up, because the writers - what? couldn't think of any other way? really?!

a beach day! icy water but generally a fun morning, from clifton to the market - i stuffed myself on vegan sushi / grilled mushrooms / chocolate cake and whatever spicy thing gd thought would be a good idea, leaving just in time to get her to her chinese medicine lecture and walking mr smear around town while we waited (including a quick plant mission)

mr smear got impatient at the end and i was so tired i became a fainting hazard, shopping on the way home in spite of that, zang caffeinated chocolate to boost me through showering and pre-bedtime, then gd and i both passing out as soon as he fell asleep

waking up around 11.30pm unable to breathe,

sunday 29th:

eating well and playing ffix until gd suggested that 3am was getting a bit late... lying down in bed unable to breathe again and with my whole body very uncomfortable

mr smear up early, then down again for a bit, a slow and restless wakeup
managing to get some good work done in spite of a busy boy
picking up my mom for a mission
decent lunch wrap at the waterfront
no coffee without dairy, settling for a bad americano
the terracotta army exhibit - pretty darned impressive
a short nap for mr smear
glorious sunset, failed photos
only forty five minutes of putting mr smear to bed...
cider and chai and ffix and passing out from sudden exhaustion

monday 30th:

a peaceful night but a struggle in the early morning, getting some work done while mr smear was at school before being forced to deal with my younger sister (fortunately my older sister was available to advise)

rushing into town to find the wellness warehouse out of seitan, mr smear's nappus interruptus; my turn drooling and snoring on the physio's table

mom rescuing our afternoon and giving us some time to work and cook, my mind blown by the elegance of the hierarchy id pattern

iboy is a great movie

my younger sister's disturbing "soul vomit" news failing to shock, that failure being in and of itself sad and disturbing, working until i almost passed out sitting at my desk

tuesday 31st:

waking up early again, both myself and mr smear very tired, a morning of preacher and sleep; extended by mr smear's post-school nap
gd's chiropractor visit, then a financial anxiety attack before going out to withdraw/deposit (both ATMs blocked by heavy users)
visiting my recruiter cousin for advice, picking up hot fusion on the way home and getting mr smear ready to put himself to bed

wednesday 1st:

the little sister news i posted about bothering me through the night, an uncomfortable talk with SxS which could have been worse, struggling with an entity framework code first issue after i thought i was done with that stuff and my frustration taking me beyond my 3am exhaustion point to 4am... with mr smear up at 4.45, of course...

gd's morning haircut on the wrong day (and they "fixed" it because they didn't know what day it was either), a power nap and a chat with SxS's father, picking up mr smear and going through to the department of home affairs which was full then to the wushu centre which didn't have the gear gd needed (but a chat she did need while mr smear made me chase after him for twenty minutes) then aborting a plant mission because we didn't have a breastfeeding blanket

mr smear falling asleep on the way home, so a little rest before going shopping (big shopping, mostly fine except for tv bar disguising their new dark (milk) chocolate as their old dark (non-dairy) chocolate - the first taste was already too rich to be right

arriving home in time for a nice visit from my toronto cousin's wife, prepping mr smear for bed and troubleshooting a work problem while simultaneously continuing to hack away at the entity framework code first issue that hadn't stopped driving me crazy - finally winning and more elegantly than the internets had led me to believe was possible

bill burr's new special walk your way out is brilliant

thursday 2nd:

actually a decent amount of sleep for once, a pleasant morning, sharing pregnancy / breastfeeding experiences with people who appreciate it, picking up mr smear and learning that he has two little girls after him, from the print shop straight to nap time

"We are delighted by viral videos of youth children refusing to eat meat and making compassionate connections to where the meat came from, yet most children aren’t even given the opportunity to think through the process to begin with. Raising a vegan child is said to be “forcing beliefs,” but what in the world is raising an omnivorous child if not that, with a heaping spoonful of violence at the very top?"
- this article right here

waking up mr smear to go to DoHA, where it became apparent that the greeter from the day before had left out an important point where the number of passport applications per day is limited...

playing and working and dancing, troubleshooting and playing, mom's interesting news, bedtime prep

parenting: i guess a child pooping in the shower is better than them pooping in the bath?

my neck trauma and feeling off, a long goodnight followed by possibly too many chana and rice wraps while watching that 70's show

friday 3rd:

waking up choking and throwing up, going back to bed after a while and then an hour or two unable to sleep; finally getting up and doing some unpleasant chores (financial) and eventually feeling better and heading for bed just as mr smear decided that he was done sleeping for the night (becoming a theme)

a dazed morning, a doctor's visit and forty minutes in a queue at the telkom store, the post office, the chiropractor cracking my wrist, simply asia lunch, utopia yoghurt pickup, then home finally to lie on the couch for an hour or two

gd's extreme neck pain, work investigation on a shady client and the return of SxS's brother's drama

a walk with mr smear to the playground, then back for candle lighting and a really nice shabbat dinner

[forgotten evening]

saturday 4th:

a good night but an early waking, cartoons and coffee, then going to the vegan market
a great turnout but disappointing stalls; we returned a ton of empty yoghurt bottles and had an amazing mint cheesecake slice, listened to fun music and took away some desserts that turned out to be awful sweets with beautiful presentation. TASTE your food, people, that'll teach us to buy without sampling (or trust when no samples are available)

traffic jam home, mr smear's short nap and then a busy afternoon playing with him before i took him to the park. mostly fun, very tiring

dinner / shower / bedtime for mr smear / changing privacy settings on facebook for my sister* / nursery rhyming until 2.30am

* twenty years of silence ended with manipulative, needy shit; my younger sister's communication went from disturbing through creepy and into psychotic in a matter a two or three messages and it took a week before i saw a single question asking how i am. no, thank you, goodbye.

sunday 5th:

mr smear's inexplicable distress for an hour or so (possibly just a heat rash from a winter blanket) followed by hectic dreams

failing to watch marc maron: more later, a busy morning / a rabbit hole of israeli music making me emotional, mom's visit and advice / support and finally blocking my sister

a quick aquarium tour and mr smear's fear of the fake waves and the jellyfish tunnel

half an hour looking for parking when the additional section had plenty of room and obvious not-parents were in the parental parking, lunch at wellness warehouse (trying to educate the staff on vitamin d, i think they just wanted to get rid of me), pharmacy and shopping and getting back home around 5pm worn out

a twenty minute nap, showering and dressing and rushing off to la perla for pleasant drinks; in the smokers' section, unfortunately, and we'd thought we were invited for dinner so that was awkward. and we found out later that my mom's cousin who invited us made that even more awkward and when saying goodbye gave me remarkably bad advice on raising children.

marc maron: more later was a hard sell to gd, but she gave him another chance and the two of us laughed hysterically or nodded along to most of it

gearing up for a work night and being thrown off

monday 6th:

an awful midnight feed turning into at least an hour when we didn't have it in us, peeling ourselves out of bed when mr smear woke up bright and early and chipper

dropping him off at school and getting caught up in a parking lot discussion about conversion and immigration

a big desperate nap, picking up mr smear at noon for the first time, his nap while we ate lunch watching santa clarita diet, mom picking up gd's ipad and leaving just before mr smear woke up coughing and asthma-vomiting

chiropractor visit (second wrist crack), lunch and grocery shopping, a couple of lost hours (seriously, not a clue what happened but i know it involved parenting), mr smear's bedtime and watching more santa clarita diet which is one of the goriest things we've ever seen

starting to work earlier than usual

tuesday 7th:

a big birthday and moonlight over the ocean, stopping work just after 2am

mr smear's big breakfast
napping / watching with gd
picking up mr smear waking up feeling a bit sick
a little rest while the cleaning lady helped and then while mr smear napped
trying to work and tend to mr smear simultaneously
chatting with horseman
mezepoli birthday dinner eating lots of good food and enjoying their mojitos, our first proper date since the last time we were there
a monster cockroach and my awful response
santa clarita diet and early to bed

wednesday 8th:

up at 6am, mr smear easier to manage when it's us waking HIM up
arriving at 7.45am, a long queue for the queue to get a slip for the cashier, a long queue for the cashier and a surprisingly interesting chat with a school friend's mother, a short queue to get a number, an insanely long wait in a crowded hall with a small child and a desperate need for coffee

four hours before finally getting to the photo station, then the system crashing and having to wait another short while for a different one, followed by ten minutes of service and then a much deserved lunch at truth while mr smear napped

home for a bit, making exciting progress with my project, then a message from DoHA informing us that we'd need to go back because they made a mistake...

honest chocolate and driving around in crazy traffic, the spar pharmacy and everyone having a good laugh at mr smear's swipe reflex

blocking the road waiting, gd's good news and then great news followed by more exciting work progress

thursday 9th:

crashing around midnight feeling awful, sleeping, waking up feeling much better; taking mr smear to school by myself, getting good work done, picking him up with gd and going straight through to the department of home affairs in spite of town being shut down for SONA

the shocking news of our friend's younger brother being killed in a motorcycle accident

good work
wazoogle nose is not funny, it took a while to clear the poor child's nose
walking with gd and mom and being mutually awkward with an old classmate
tough goodnight
santa clarita diet
early to bed for a pre-work nap

friday 10th:

and apparently i'm exhausted, so at least i got good day work done because i slept through the night (not counting mr smear waking a couple of times) and reluctantly got dragged out of bed around 6.30am

a little rest, a positive work morning, frustrating shopping after picking up mr smear, our cleaning lady staying on to let us cook and work, mr smear breakdancing

mr smear chaining different syllables, but fake crying a lot which we think he's picked up from the other kids

work, play and getting ready for dinner; a really nice evening with godmother's best friends, good food and mr smear being particularly entertaining but not sleeping until we left late

winding down with ffix

saturday 11th:

and then working a bit until 3am, at which point mr smear stopped sleeping well and eventually a short few hours turned into 7am; begrudgingly getting up for performance tears

a rough morning, but putting on food choices and it's AMAZING, so rock solid that gd made a decision

playtime and strategizing, mr smear going down for a nap and taking the opportunity to get some good work done

getting ready and picking up our speaker and watermelon from my mom, a quick baby city diaper run and then through to a playdate in plumstead feeling a distinct and intense cape town electricity in the air

a lovely afternoon with two cute kids moving from a sandbox to a little splashing pool, leaving late and coming home tired and picking up hot fusion and shower-and-bedtime and dinner and vegging out with a cider and an early night

sunday 12th:

a horrible night, mr smear apparently reacting to our friends' cat and barely any sleep for any of us; waking up to the last episode of trollhunter before finishing the food choices documentary - i'm really glad the director ran the segments in the precise order that he did

mr smear's 10am nap an absolute blessing, but too restless so i regenerated willpower with ffix: gleefully discovering amarant's chakra ability

still restless even after my mom came over to help out, a busy afternoon (mostly clearing mucus but including writing another couple of nursery rhymes) and taking mr smear out for a walk which he didn't seem to appreciate, gd's great lentil burgers and putting mr smear to bed and watching clips of the SONA violence and some more dazed and confused after gd went to bed