Wednesday, January 25, 2017

am apple cider a day

mr smear is screaming. not in pain, nor unhappiness, he's screaming out of the joy of discovering that he can, it's a normal phase and the internets have been less than helpful in getting him to stop. he finds particular entertainment in screaming long and hard at the end of showertime, when the echo makes it considerably worse. and i think he's enjoying my reactions which is becoming more pronounced as my ears endure more pain.

it is the third day. oh, gods, it's only the third day.


sunday 22nd:

working until 2.30am, then starting the day wrong after leaving late to see gd's osteopath
an afternoon recovering from a psychologically / emotionally devastating morning
getting my phone back in the same condition or worse - definitely $100 well spent :/ - and after confounding the apple store experts but walking away with a suspicion of what might have been done to the appleid
big shopping, exhausted smoothie slurping and showering mr smear
another looong goodnight
tropic thunder ftw
under the dome and hard rls

reading comments from parents who medicate their kids to fit into a system they don't believe in but don't see any other way.
parents make mistakes. mistakes are okay, we do the best we can. most people are misinformed, that's just the nature of the world we live in. you can't possibly know what you don't know.
but if you do know that something is bad for your children, and you do it anyway, that's not a mistake. that's a choice. and if you're told that you're doing something wrong, and you don't investigate - even if just to prove to yourself that you're right - that's a choice. and your children are going to pay for those choices. and that's not okay.
monday 23rd:

a long, restless night and a hard wakeup, getting mr smear to eat breakfast in spite of the hurry, using preschool time to work and listen to some great psytrance, picking him up, quick shopping, bringing him home in time for a nap; lunch and a bit of a rest before he got up, a trying afternoon, a message from my other sister throwing me off completely, finally sorting out the borrowed iphone while gd saw the chiropractor, my mom joining me and mr smear for the evening walk right after i upset him by not sharing my french fries, bedtime prep and sailor coming over for dinner (call-a-pizza salads ftw!) and philosophy

tuesday 24th:

mr smear having a rough night, getting a good chunk of work done but going to bed late sometime after 4am...

... at which point mr smear went from crying out occasionally to full scale nobody-sleeps mode, getting up with the massive headache one would reasonably expect

a quick school drop off, unable to rest so working instead, a smooth pickup and straight to canal walk to meet my mom and shop for mr smear, back home to shower him (another unfortunate poop incident but it definitely could've been worse) and play until gd returned from the physio, working some more, then taking gd to kung fu; too chilly for the park, managing to keep mr smear (mostly) quiet while waiting for his mother, home and putting him to bed and relaxing with a cider before the meeting

wednesday 25th:

some good hours of work after a (theoretically) positive meeting, lots of crazy dreams and waking tired (as usual, i guess), dropping off mr smear and napping well and enjoying spicy leftovers before picking him up again.
thai spice is a flavourless burn. when you add it to bland rice all you get is angry bland rice.‬
from school to nap (disappointing the cleaning lady), ffix (a redo, making progress way faster than before and sure i missed something), a very unhappy boy waking up with a big cough (is it another school bug?) but it seemed to relax after a couple of meds

seeing a really nice apartment, stopping at primi piatti and discovering their kiddie playground - mr smear's first jumping castle experience. good parents, shitty parents. good food, and mostly keeping my discomfort over mr smear being given animal products to myself.


my ears aren't ringing, it's my brain that's ringing. breathe, drink, breathe, it'll be okay.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

safe and secure


yesterday afternoon gd and my mom both came down with whatever i'd been suffering on thursday, so that put a damper on things. i took over for gd and sorted out everything aside from breastfeeding, and after the two of them went to sleep i sat in front of pom poko and ate leftovers that were so spicy they were painful. i didn't particularly enjoy pom poko, to be honest. it's not bad, probably very good for kids, but it's not even in the same league as princess mononoke / spirited away / howl's moving castle / my neighbour totoro...

... i went to bed as soon as i was done eating, and spent half the night suffering acid reflux. figures.

i got to sleep in in the morning, we watched a bit more trollhunter, performed and hour or two of basic parenting, and then mr smear went down for his nap. gd and i watched most of rezort, which we'd finish in the evening: great concept, a solid zombie flick by most standards but holy crap - did the writers HAVE to resort to dumbing down the characters for the action sequences?! seriously, it damages character credibility and was totally unnecessary :(

speaking of zombies and dumbed-down characters, i spent a good chunk of the afternoon resurrecting the email address of the guy who gave my mother the phone i'm (not) using, only to recreate the appleid he'd deleted and find that it's not enough to reactivate the phone. so, in a nutshell, if you have find my iphone set up and you delete your account, instead of the device being unregistered it straight-up renders the device unusable. amazing.

my mom and i took mr smear for a walk to the lighthouse, the sunset was INCREDIBLE and i couldn't take photos without my phone; mr smear almost took a tumble from a kiddie swing that's poorly designed but otherwise had a grand old time. a big dinner and showering and putting mr smear to sleep (again, him putting himself to bed) then briefly watching stuff with gd before getting into work.


well, we seem to have gotten over our illness, though we're still in the phase of praying that mr smear got it before us and that it isn't something impending; we've really been through enough this last week. and just as soon as gd started feeling better, her leg started hurting, so it's not like we're enjoying a break or anything :P

Friday, January 20, 2017

ups and downs and round and rounds

ugh, i've just handed in my phone for repair (battery replacement) and the one i borrowed is practically unusable. maybe that's a good thing.

wednesday 4th:

6.30 to bed after a rabbit hole of node stream error handling, 7.30 up with mr smear's foot in my face, back to bed a diaper change later and then up at 10... has gd found an rls release trigger point?

scrapper chat and remembering to read the story he sent me (years?) ago
putting mr smear to bed with my voice for the second day in a row

awesome luck figuring out an undocumented feature that i needed for work

a slightly better gym crèche experience, not having much energy for the treadmill, and not having the control to hit the bags without hurting my hands (broken gloves), BUT finally crossing over with the jump rope!

meeting my uncle while waiting for nü to not make the juice i ordered

SxS's big news!
gd laughing uncontrollably for ages because i was choking in the car
for the love of spock is a really touching documentary

getting into a good work groove

thursday 5th:

learning a lot about html5 audio, and discovering along the way that for ages i'd been hunting for a bug in my server code when the client (jquery ajax) was the issue all along

into bed around 4.20am, out around 9am, rushed and too-fluid maize meal, an overcrowded apartment viewing with an honest neighbour to warn us off, a quick stop at my mom's and a breakfast mission to nü: hard work, but kinda fun, meeting the shaliach's wife

quick home run then my mom coming over so i could take gd for a haircut, very lucky parking, falling asleep waiting, wellness warehouse mission, mr smear's nap and passing out on the couch and a blast of wind to the face and visiting protoplasm with and for a beer
the long kiss goodnight: getting mr smear showered and ready for bed and the spending at least half an hour trying to get him to sleep; i *think* he understands the hebrew word for "lie down" already

fleas? or something else?

watching a reconstruction of jobs vs gates, then getting some work done before losing my second wind

friday 6th:

actually getting through to 3am with at least some success (although the main target was proving elusive), then being woken repeatedly until 8am and managing to steal about an hour's nap afterwards

flea fighting, going to see a really nice apartment that has too many stairs for us, a not-unpleasant telkom visit, a very quick but nice visit from my sister, nap time and introducing gd to tropic thunder, mom coming over for friday night (hot fusion) dinner, mr smear's first kicks, mr smear putting himself to sleep for the first time, watching an episode of under the dome then passing out

saturday 7th:

a full night's sleep, waking up exhausted and with mr smear climbing all over me, going to see a really nice apartment, then through to my aunt's for a great brunch - it was very tiring running after mr smear and keeping him out of the pool, and gd's faux pas left a bad taste in her mouth

mr smear passing out on the way home, me alongside him only i didn't wake up as quickly after we got home; shopping and gd cooking and not taking mr smear out in the wind, my mom coming over for dinner and watching the rest of the first episode of the secret life of 4, 5 & 6 year olds; peaches and cream followed by chocolate and cream (all vegan) and two too many episodes of under the dome before passing out

sunday 8th:

another decent night's sleep, waking up to trollhunter (excellent), mr smear going down for a nap and taking advantage with a good chunk of ffix; looking at apartments before heading to meet with sailor at the concert in the park

chasing mr smear, no alcohol at a concert, family fun outdoors and the music wasn't bad

hot fusion, feng shui / acupuncture / nutrition / movement / ufc

scary blue screens of death, under the dome,

monday 9th:

diving into browserify, which could have saved me an enormous amount of time had i bothered to learn about it before, crashing around 4.15am

early up with mr smear crawling over me, a little bit more sleep then beginning a day of wear and tear, gd losing a banana, mr smear all over the place and gleefully discovering that screams aren't appreciated (sore ears for the rest of us), a much needed nap time (though most of it spent in ffix)
a super hot day with a super hard wind, printing photos and learning about flea control and drown-proofing babies (we'll skip, thanks), attempting to take mr smear for a walk and meeting a lovely belgian family who needed help starting their car but forgetting to get their details, finding gd's lost page, big wind interfering with post-shower drying
third night getting mr smear to sleep on his own, but it involved screaming and a few teary attempts before he acquiesced and required a lot of resolve

a big dinner, a couple of episodes of under the dome, and then falling asleep on the couch

tuesday 10th:

up early and working hard, tensions over fleas (or not fleas, but possibly a breakdown) reaching a dangerous high
gearing up for mr smear's first day at school, posting and shopping with mr smear

some people look at the glass half empty, some half full; some go thirsty tonguing the chipped edges instead of drinking the water

delivering a care package for my mom, taking mr smear to the playground where he sat on the swing staring seriously before showing off his new ladder climbing skills

bedtime prep, dinner, ffix, then finally making a huge leap forward at work

wednesday 11th:

an awful mosquito / whatever experience but working well and getting to bed around 3.30, being woken at 7.30 by a telkom agent calling to inform me that they will investigate their overcharging me as promised

breakfast reading and sharing a (vegan) toasted cheese with mr smear, taking him to his first day at nursery school. his screams as we said goodbye were heart wrenching, but of course two seconds after we closed the door he was fine and playing.

a long, important talk in the parking lot (from end of the world to new beginnings)

baby city cell signal / security guard issues, ackermans for a cute baby backpack and then picking up mr smear who was reluctant to leave; going to see two beautiful apartments, one reasonably priced, and an awkward conversation with a girl i went to school with but have nothing to say to

lunch, nap, meander, bedtime prep, under the dome (writing going south fast), ffix

thursday 12th:

lots of optimization with small (immediate) payoff until 4am, dragging myself out of bed at 7.30 to breakfast with mr smear before dropping him off (and introducing him to the sandpit), a twenty minute power nap that ended in virtual tears (i barely managed to get off the couch, and we were late to my mom's); running into the wife of a montreal couple who'd invited us to dinner repeatedly while we lived there, picking up a happy mr smear and walking back to a great bootlegger lunch with my great aunt, finally singing mr smear to sleep minutes before we left

[no recollection of following events]

passing out early and exhausted

friday 13th:

a mostly decent night's sleep, with one interruption when mr smear decided he was NOT interested in sleeping anymore, waking up from a disturbing dream in which protoplasm gave me a ride on his bike to my apartment where i hadn't been in a few days, during which time my flatmate had illegally sublet to a whole bunch of strange people

starting the day on the wrong foot when it could have been fantastic; dropping mr smear off and looking at an apartment in my mom's block, picking up mr smear and looking at a tiny dark apartment on the mountainside then hitting the waterfront for lunch (accidentally waking mr smear from his nap) and shopping

a half a nap and a fun visit to the doctor, getting mr smear to sleep again, running to the pharmacy, and keeping mr smear occupied while gd cooked

a great dinner at my cousins with my brother and his eldest

saturday 14th:

coming home really late, bailing on swimming lessons before dropping into bed

reading preacher while mr smear slept in until 11am, an awesome twenty minutes of just laying around and chilling before getting up

a long, slow day being too tired to do anything.

under the dome started brilliantly, but why is it that so many writers can't push a story forward without every character becoming utterly stupid and making unreasonably irrational choices?

taking mr smear to the park, a cold breeze coming up just as the park closed and with no sweater having to put my shirt on him on the way back

bedtime ritual, mr smear putting himself to bed again, watching my sex robot and an interesting cannabis documentary

the lost plane ticket (we totally forgot to change the dates of our return flights), second night fighting rls in a row (did i win or lose?)

sunday 15th:

sleep: back to regular programming

first coffee ruined, taking mr smear to kirstenbosch: warm and drizzly, mr smear's wet barefoot adventure

bree street festival, finding the pure building and being shocked by the raw and roxy experience: vegan businesses need to represent the community in a positive way, and the owner actually insulted my non-vegan mother.

long sunny walk to the car, "we're all a sort of family" car guard, showering and off to a fun tea with my brother and cousin and co

mr smear passing out on my chest on our way home, ffix - making awesome progress and the giving it up when mr smear threw up his dinner all over me and the walls and floors, then later threw up all the water he'd had to drink after the first go...

monday 16th:

a heavy wind, and 2.30am attempt to feed again and a repeat performance (replacing bedsheets and oh! we weren't using the protective sheet! fancy that...) and remembering to invoice *just* before the american day was out

5.40am cutting short a second feed to keep it down and everyone getting a bit of sleep (minus my own digestion difficulties)

first school sick day... the plan was breakfast and a visit to sort out the car rental, but mr smear crashed so we waited - too tired to do anything, too restless to sleep. i finally did go, and when i was on my way back gd called to inform me that mr smear had regressed. my mom arrived before i did, teamwork made the rest of the day manageable (including allowing me a call with SxS), and after transferring mr smear to his room i actually managed to get some work done

a short nap, then coffee and continuing

tuesday 17th:

cape town heavy, mountain fires and big winds (enough to thoroughly clear the streets)

deep into web workers and constantly interrupted by an indecisive mr smear - although he did, strangely enough, begin clearly instructing me to put him down so he could sleep. i felt like we'd entered the twilight zone.

3.30 to bed, early up with a sore neck (lately i just can't get comfortable unless i'm sleeping with it in a bad position)

first feed going awry when mr smear threw up into the unreachable / uncleanable gaps between the back and base of the couch

a little bit of a rest when the cleaning lady arrived, then a mission to the doctor (mr smear farting up a storm to illustrate his discomfort), picking up a couple of ps3 games at the pawn shop (fallout 3 / deus ex), then shopping before coming home exhausted to struggle with an irritable mr smear

a long afternoon; mr smear now at the point where he can physically insist to sit at the table with us. my mom joining us in the hunt for a lost item and dinner

giving in to my wife's demand for more comics
mr smear and the screaming showdown (he won, and then told me when to put him down to sleep)
testing the games
work interrupted for another hurl

wednesday 18th:

another tough night, gearing up for a better morning but another last minute hurl and another day off school called in - so much for buying ourselves a rest

the nap: lying on my back drifting in and out of consciousness for a while, feeling quite put-upon by life and in desperate need of a break

dropping gd off at the gym, sorting leftovers for lunch, finally getting an opportunity to work and having to rush off to pick up gd who'd just learned the hard way that the african sun is dangerously strong
too restless to nap, too tired to function, zang caffeinated chocolate to the rescue and just getting into some work when mr smear woke up...

sneaking out with him when gd went to physio to pick up a package she's been waiting for, but the post office was closed. my mom joining me for coffee, and buying me new boxing gloves; returning home for a chat with SxS (it sucks being right about needing to let someone go when the confirmation comes months later)

gd going to bed early, watching (and being astounded by) zero motivation,

thursday 19th:

switching project contexts and getting back into old shit

a few hours of sleep, then waking up to an upset stomach and a stressed wife; taking mr smear to school, picking up post, no oat milk at dischem, coming home to a heaviness just as the therapist arrived. a helpful session, then straight back to the school to pick up mr smear. feeling exhausted and weak, naps interrupted and stormy stomach, humming mr smear to his nap while trying not to pass out myself

surviving tea with k-twang and co, dropping gd off at her first kung fu class and taking mr smear for a walk around the cbd; plant to use their facilities and share a smoothie, then running into my niece while waiting for gd to finish

a tough drive home, my mom helping out by taking some pure dude's car keys back to the gym and subbing for me until mr smear's bedtime; mr smear really not liking me at all

getting up at 10.30pm for a meeting, then going back to bed

friday 20th:

waking up feeling MUCH better, although not great. a pleasant pre-school prep, smoothly dropping off mr smear, filling the petrol tank and coming back home for a nap. picking up mr smear, then a phone from my mom's, then heading to the waterfront to hand in my phone to get the battery replaced and try to find shoes for mr smear. food fail with gd taking a wrap that she was allergic to and mr smear loving the turmeric juice but covering himself with a good portion of it. his nap finally kicking in as we got home, the awkwardness of informing our cleaning lady of our new schedule


i think one of my email accounts has been hacked, but i've not way of accessing it (thanks again, gmail, for not having humans involved in your forgotten password process). mr smear's still napping, let's see how much work i get done before he wakes up :P

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

happy new year! and stuff!

saturday 24th:

ffix - amazing how much progress i'm willing to sacrifice after losing a couple of card games

two laundry missions because i didn't know they only accept cash and hoping i didn't drop any on the way home (in addition to the items that a friendly stranger stuffed back in the bag for me), buying a dozen rolls for dinner and promptly leaving them at home, mr smear whining the whole way to my sister's

two heavy boxers scrambling to lick mr smear and bashing into him, throwing him back a couple of feet to a hard landing that was awful to watch and reverberated in my mind for a good while; but aside from a couple of unhappy seconds the incident didn't seem to have much effect aside from terrifying his parents

a busy, exhausting evening with lots of family and chasing after mr smear

getting home late

sunday 25th:

mr smear sleeping straight through again (!!!) and me waking up early to get some work done

making significant progress with chrome, but then struggling with edge...

the long but not unpleasant drive to the farm (sore temples, eye strain?)
the beer mission on my behalf and mr smear and the dogs, both female but one a real bitch, running after mr smear for a few hours when he wasn't entertaining and being entertained (he made a good impression)
a big lunch, changing into swimming gear but passing out instead, being woken far too early from a fantastic nap to chug coffee to drive home but my mom coming to the rescue 'cause i was too tired and foggy after the caffeine

a couple of hours of getting mr smear into bed, dirk gently isn't funny but it's a lot of fun, going to bed early

monday 26th:

one midnight feed and a lot of dreaming, slowly waking up while mr smear slept in

what could have been a nice day soured into hours of taking care of mr smear alone, including dealing with a tantrum in the supermarket - lots of great moments, but lots of inexplicable neediness and a couple of hard lessons (i know it's a boy thing, but still)

a much improved evening after finally getting mr smear to bed, the final fantasy xv movie isn't all coherent but aside from the lips it's visually breathtaking and overall very exciting

tuesday 27th:

dreaming intensely straight through my alarm, a convoluted dream about being framed and persecuted for a number of serious crimes; i woke up with my heart in my throat as they figured out which apartment gd and i were in using a rottweiler and i was holding back the locksmith with my hand on the lock while she fled through the back and i prepared to let go to follow

working until sunrise, sleeping late, big breakfast for mr smear, a walk with my mom to see a tiny apartment, the woman at shawarma express spiking my laffa with unenjoyably sharp pickles

working through mr smear's nap, an afternoon switching between productive and playing, a windy walk which was about 50/50 fun/effort, candles and dinner and dirk gently and ffix (again with the card game taking precedence over the story, although now that i've learned that unlike ffviii there's no relevant payoff like the "card" ability i'm just going to get on with it)

wednesday 28th:

damn, 2016, that's three celebrities in your last five days and we're not even done yet. i was never a big george michael fan, but richard adams and carrie fisher? :(

struggling with cross browser compatibility, which is beginning to feel a bit bane-of-existence-y

4.30am bedtime

up at 9.30 with only an hour skipped, a few hectic hours then one or two peaceful, then a gym mission (my wrist has been hurting because my glove's torn, the crèche women are assholes), no time for waterfront shopping, mr smear loving some of hot fusion's spiciest, my first time back in the small shul at marais road in many, many years to say kaddish for my grandfather's yahrzeit, shower time and bedtime and dinner and passing out to crazyhead

thursday 29th:

lots of sleep, even if not good quality
gd's and my first haircut in months
balcony gate
running into my swimming teacher at the post office
from a precision mission to lunch at the food court, being smothered by the holiday maul people
mr smear finally passing out on the way home, an overly warm evening, ffix, a lot of trouble getting mr smear to bed, a little bit of crazyhead, a little more ffix and then settling down to get some work done

friday 30th:

mr smear having trouble sleeping but managing to make excellent progress at work; finally getting to bed just after 4am

mr smear continuing the struggle, getting about three hours of sleep in before the day got started, one piece in the background and chores, a failing backup locking up my computer all day, running into my first rollerblading buddy on the way to the bank, a shopping mission, joined by mum over late lunch, no afternoon rest but absolutely exhausted, fun with mr smear and his granny while gd cooked

saturday 31st:

horror news (anime)
hating the windows backup tool which made me restart for the second time (eventually scrapping my backups and using aomei backupper instead)
mr smear's big nap, dirk gently after failing at my own nap
picking up giovanni's rolls and getting to my sister's in spite of the gps
a lovely afternoon in the pool, mr smear's water wings and the dogs popping his ball
driving home late, picking up hot fusion, getting mr smear showered and in bed in record time
dirk gently - brilliant season finale, then ffix into the new year

sunday 1st:

midnight feed + really bad acid reflux + sudden, violent, inexplicable skin burning sensation (anxiety, perhaps?)

waking up after enough hours of sleep but still not rested

a tough morning trying and failing to decide what to do, then mr smear's nap and ffix / getting into the preacher comics
taking mr smear to the gym's pool with my mom in the late afternoon after tasting gd's vegan apple crisp (which is delicious, she's trying to keep me fat), bo burnham: make happy

reading the insert on the acid reflux meds before bed - kinda scary, it's definitely for emergencies only and not to be used protectively (as advised by my brother and the pharmacist)

monday 2nd:

waking up feeling a lot more rested
a quick visit to the gym, our session interrupted by mr smear with perfect timing to get us to lunch with my nieces on time: unfortunately, we've lost faith in the gym's crèche as their idea of caring for our toddler seems to be putting him in his stroller in front of the telly, which is really uncool (and today i complained to a manager, who told me that that's not acceptable and that it looks like they're going to need to do some retraining)

a delicious lunch at mykonos, an amusing non-incident when my brother arrived but ducked as soon as he learned that my nieces were there; non-coffee and snapchatting mr smear at our place, then a struggle to get a very tired mr smear to nap: we gave up, put one piece on and took turns running after him until around 5.30-6-ish, when we did the grocery shopping (i gave up taking photos of the empty shelves when it became clear that it was most of the store) and took mr smear for a walk along the promenade

massive waves hitting the wall, mr smear climbing a ladder all by himself to thunderous applause, figuring out another kid's bike on contact, hugs from little strangers

a very efficient bedtime prep, a few much-needed minutes of literally doing nothing together, ordering indian and watching the rest of bo burnham: make happy.

if i went out to see bo burnham live expecting comedy i'd be pissed. but i just gave him another chance as a performance artist and he is literally poetry in motion. and funny, too, but only when you least expect it. genius.

trying to rest while gd watched the first episode of the OA and failing

tuesday 3rd:

that disconcerting moment where you run code just to see what your input looks like when suddenly the whole chain you've been struggling with falls into place and you get your desired end result

and then spend hours trying to figure out why it doesn't work on microsoft products

bedtime 3:15

getting in a few hours of rest, odd dreams, breakfast and reading to mr smear and then trying to nap when he passed out, only he got up after five minutes and i lay in bed with anxiety caused by swimming in debt with no clear way out of it

trouble getting mr smear to bed until i sang to him, then watching rain man (oh, man, the writing and acting were phenomenal!) while he napped, then actively waking him to take him for a windy walk (and swing, where we were pissed off by an older couple vandalizing the kiddies swings)

hot fusion, supper and shower and putting mr smear to bed, passing out to the OA and

wednesday 4th:

spending the next few hours waking up then going back to sleep (dreams about scrapper in an enormous square apartment block in a concrete wasteland), finally managing to drag myself out of bed at 3am to work