Wednesday, December 31, 2014

dear 2014

dear 2014, i'm massively conflicted about you. you were hands-down the greatest of the last few, though you managed to include treacherous troughs that were almost as deep as your peaks were high. you're leaving me with a lot of gratitude, in particular for having introduced me to gd, and i pray that 2015 will have loads more good surprises in store... for all of us :)

may 2015 be filled with laughter, joy, peace and prosperity for everyone!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

naytheist aggression

so today supertongue posted something that i felt obliged to respond to, and in the interests of sharing my opinions i reposted the following:
a friend of mine just wrote "calling atheism a religion is the same as calling baldness a hair color"
we don't have a better word for it, unfortunately. there're two types of atheism: there's one form where the atheist doesn't believe and doesn't give a shit if anybody else believes, and one in which the atheist doesn't believe but actively makes an effort to convince believers of other religions that they're wrong about god.
the latter has no faith, but they're definitely an organized system of belief that doesn't appreciate others' right to believe in whatever fantasies they choose.
which is precisely what we all use the word "religion" to describe.
i posted this, and then went back to work. by the time i got back to it war had broken out between the factions.

a lot of interesting points were made, but i'll just post my own conclusion here:
the lack of evidence for a thing does not imply the non-existence of that thing, only that that thing is extremely unlikely. yes, it's true, that's not very actionable, but a lot of time the correct action to take is no action when it comes down to it. unless someone is imposing their ridiculous beliefs on you, they have every right to their ridiculous beliefs just as you have to your not-ridiculous beliefs. because to them their beliefs aren't ridiculous, and those beliefs give their lives a narrative that they either desire or need.

as long as it's not harmful to anyone, it's okay, the moment it becomes threatening, kill it with fire before it lays eggs.

and regarding the science of things, the more we learn about this universe the more fascinating and bizarre it becomes. the kinds of things that have passed from impossible fantasy to the realm of possibility over the course of the last century is astounding to say the least. you know the fancy, expensive experiments to prove quantum physics right? those are scientists investing their lives on that stuff, continuing to chase established theoretical models in the face of the noticeable lack of supporting evidence. maybe they're right? there're incredibly interesting new theories that suggest that they've all been on the wrong path. but that's science for you.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

more overdue linkage

52 common mythconceptions

death isn't as scary as the bureaucracy that comes after

musk on internet satellites

an app to add your own two-step authentication?

handling stress in the moment? sounds like advice for me...

chappie looks like a fun film

a tattoo machine! - omg that's awesome!

overdue linkage

just skimming through the headings of the findings and conclusions of makes it abundantly clear how trustworthy and reliable the cia are... the bottom line is that you do things the right way no matter what.

cable-free elevators move in any direction

dna survives re-entry from space!

3 reasons you should adopt an attitude of gratitude

airbus ufo design

Saturday, December 27, 2014


it's really weird to have so little control over things.


more dev / prod disparity issues
another league of legends defeat (but not as painful, i took ashe and i think i like her style)
slow and steady progress until the end, finally making magic happen just before the end of the day and being deliciously relieved and satisfied

the boss caught me on my way out, spending forty minutes explaining the lay of the land and leaving me walking out quite flattered. it's awesome to be appreciated.

quick shopping trip feeling manically elated thinking about gd and our present situation (in spite of all the bad stuff we've been dealing with, there's a lot of good we can be grateful for) and my job satisfaction and the next five days off and my finally feeling well enough to enjoy them properly.

a good chat with my mom, daiya pizza for the win (that ugly post-pizza sensation later, though, which didn't happen before) and an early, easy night with my stepdog 


traumatic slip of the tongue (not mine for once) combined with some weird stuff that had happened during the day; it's amazing the kinds of stories the human brain can conjure up against all knowledge of reality


insane epic dreams ending with drinking a beer while watching a game / fight at my kickboxing instructor's palace before continuing to participate in a reality show where they put me in a playing field with lions amongst other challenges and i had to fight my way out

4am eel shadow slipping past the toilet door
sleeping really late, waking up straight into the morning dog walk, transistor, pre-christmas shopping expedition
very glad i made the call to skip the long queue at saq and come back later, very sad we missed the supermarket

montreal has really gotten the christmas eve thing wrong: it was raining non-stop all day

an evening of indulgence, heroestransistor and relaxing


midnight dog walk: the best part about rain is when it's finally over. snow full of dog poop is not fun snow.

epically weird dreams all disappeared in a puff of an emergency wakeup by a desperately hungry gd

tired, sleeping on the couch, a long walk ending with a fun chat with my mom

resting day with braid blowing my mind

p.m. overeating with friends and everyone happy to give the enormous leftovers to a group of homeless

a long, uncomfortable talk about how i give criticism


fast wake-up, braid boggling and rushed trip to the clinic through snowdon metro station screw-ups and shit taxi service and just making it in time to see a kind doctor and learn that everything's "in the right place" (we may have gotten silly)

a credit-card scare due to a busted card reader and my wondering how all these crazy things can happen to one person at the same time


pawning and shopping, forgotten christmas wishes to people who matter, four islamist teenagers painting a sad picture

four unhappy pharmacists
a great afternoon punctuated by the discovery that the doctor was clearly wrong

horns is brilliant! right until the ending. the ending was quite dissatisfying.

ambulance ride - feeling like i'm strapped in to a roller coaster. lessons learned:
1. ambulance arrivals do not get preferential treatment
2. being called into a room to see a doctor does not guarantee seeing a doctor within the hour
3. we need to educate ourselves. the fact that we went through that whole (expensive, scary) ordeal only to learn that there's nothing to freak out about and get an appointment with a specialist in the morning is further proof that medical basics should be mandatory school studies

so much for our plans to use the day to take care of our apartment...

a night of heroes and difficult food choices, very grateful for our liquid nutrition option


i need a lot more sleep like that. an ugly, angry wakeup, a brief respite, a shower and a shave and then back to the hospital

Tuesday, December 23, 2014



a restless night but getting comfortable just before we were due to get up, mix-n-match dreams (some old and some new

gd's mom passed away during the night

tough waking up but feeling better

a slow morning with tough debugging and sasquatch making me harass him to send updates to our manager

gaming hour: satellite reign pre-alpha! it's very pre-alpha, but the potential is tangible. introducing hac (all's well) to papers, please and buying newk'd space quests iv-vi for christmas

a tedious day but finally - finally! - feeling ready to test my fixed-up failed project in a production environment again, after investing in tons of debugging features and slowly sniping a whole swarm

running into mti and actually having time to chat

a slow night of dinner, heroes and late comics


beautiful, deep sleep disturbed by garbage day, dishes and accidentally touching a frighteningly severe boo-boo.

today's the last day before christmas vacation. we *need* this.

Monday, December 22, 2014



unerotic sex toys
p.m. eating until it hurt it was so delicious, super weird drunks sitting at the table next to us
sinister goes from a long yawn to super-thrilling soon enough to make a great impression overall


a full day of the end of how i met your mother, which had me laughing and crying. gd joined me for about half of the last season (she'd never been interested before) and the ending inspired her to check something and we're both excited and intrigued by the possibility ^_^

we really needed the rest, today. i'm not feeling quite 100% yet but i'm certainly feeling much, much better.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

it's only a game


massive oversleep and arguing about dream details

not wanting to go outside because i should've been in bed

they got the temperature right in the metro for once

this month's wired is mind-blowing

no, it's not a healthy breakfast. but salt 'n vinegar fries are a bloody satisfying stand-in...

exhaustion, long prep meeting

league of legends victory but with my worst scores so far

customer approval - trying not to pass out, receiving boss approval

working late discovering more unreliable node / javascript object behaviour

arriving home, undressing *then* discovering that i needed to go to the shops

microwave beans and heroes and searching for a game for hac for our team's not-so-secret santa


another unintentionally late night

night congestion and running nose and headache

decent sleep, getting up easily

quick 'n easy morning

french deterioration (how did i go *DOWN* a level?!), gd work breakdown

falling asleep on the metro and missing my stop (fortunately only by one)

windows upgrade messed up my morning

overall disappointing team lunch at tiffany's

omg steam gifting mega-fails: i got my boss, not hac, *and* i accidentally delivered the gifts to someone else...

... why couldn't MY not-so-secret santa not use MY wishlist? my wishlist is full of awesome!

offending hac with my authority? unwittingly implying that he's not responsible?

a dead-end to a rough week

a quiet night

discovering why braid is so beloved


slow morning on the couch in front of how i met your mother

still feeling weak, but thinking hard about how much of it is simply the result of a lot of negativity. i've been sorely lacking in enthusiasm of late and everything that goes wrong becomes another turn in a downward spiral. it's time to ease up, get actively positive

more braid

pleasant godmother lunch

horseman failed vegan sushi mission and successful coffee mission

gd got the job she wanted!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

flash forward

tuesday night:

gd's first first-night channukah: a rough night for someone whose mother is on her deathbed and who has a day fully booked at a job where a boss is harassing her


weather matching our emotions with rain
a slow the-holidays-are-coming day, beginning a google sheets tutorial

nothing but dev machine trouble and code strangeness- beginning to suspect that the javascript scope model is unreliable

long chat with my mom, who's upset about the potential fallout - apparently k-twang (of all people) is being pleasant, but his mother is not :(
me? i'm all "whatever". enough playing nice to people who don't make any effort for others.

working late, leaving worried about gd and hurrying to get home...

my back feeling a bit better, gd improving with dinner and heroes until late
a *little* google sheets progress

1.30am to bed... not so smart :P

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

aches, pains, emotions


sleeping in a little but feeling properly rested after a fantastic weekend
satellite reign i'm-not-in-the-alpha-tier disappointment
getting in on's the gamers full series for $10 special with 18 minutes left on the clock
ten minute freakout thinking i'd lost my keys when they were precisely where i was sure i'd looked already

team christmas tree shopping, walmart clientele in the right spirit sharing personal space and holiday germs. the tree getting sasquatch and hac more excited than league of legends for once!

relaxed afternoon back on the old problem project

boxing: at the beginning sceptical of my ability to manage a whole class after how i felt on sunday, but finishing a rough class strong and in great spirits

slow, walking-through-jelly walk to the shops

coming home exhausted for an evening of awkward and impatient aggravation


publishing our comic instead of sorting out my SIN early... arriving late to a "we've moved" notice


quick 'n easy SIN renewal, getting lost leaving the building
realizing that i've been sick since before the weekend, the exhaustion started before snowboarding
meeting gd's ex when he picked up the dog
crashing, then dragging myself off the couch to meet gd at alexis nihon, buy candle holders for channukah, eat at the new copper branch (we didn't have enough time to renew my medical insurance card)

bumping teeth while being weird on the street and a hatted man asking "mind if i participate?"
photos, not buying $25 socks
opening a joint bank account

spilling coffee all over myself

gd's mom's sudden deterioration, long emotional hospital visit 

dinner, channukah candle lighting, heroes, stretching (back pre-spasms?), early bed

Monday, December 15, 2014

season's open


a decent morning but hard to wake up
on time for work for once this week
a decent morning at work, but included an hour and a half in a stuffy meeting room learning things that couldn't have been more boring if they'd been targeted to put me to sleep

good counterstrike 

google sheets taking forever to find documentation helpful enough to see how simple it is to add functionality 

end of the week and no desire to do any work. talking to coworker about snowboarding on fresh powder put me on an i-gotta-go high!

a long few hours, and gd calling to say she can't make the fights so i had two very expensive tickets and no refunds...


running late = time for a delicious pushap meal
missing only one fight to stand outside and try to sell my spare (score!)
a great night of great fights, interesting and exciting

watching weidman vs silva (i)


getting things right with google sheets instead of sleeping

predawn efficiency but late enough to be waiting for the metro when i should already have arrived at the bus station

crunching through the snow just as the sky begins to pale

amazing sleep on the bus, stumbling out at saint sauveur, stunning, stunning morning, expensive season pass that HAS to be used, good first coffee

awesome first session, feeling super comfortable. totally present in every moment, the most magical of days and the conditions on most of the slopes good enough to be super fun ^_^

gd's boss freaked out again, apparently the apology was meaningless and i told her it's time to walk

so... after lunch i discovered that my fly had been wide open the whole morning. aside from being slightly embarrassed, i'm extremely grateful for not having ended up with ice in my underwear.

best cup of coffee outside in the shade

great, relaxed afternoon (with some groovy runs), being awed by the kid with what seemed to be just the squares from a snowboard around the bindings - crazy shit!

final runs beautiful, but tired and sore feet so calling it an hour and a half early. overall: my day was absolute bliss.

so... my locker was unlocked the whole day?

omg that was an expensive drink with two jokers: i walked out at 6:20 after a long, physical day and a beer and a parting shot of something strong and had to run with my snowboard for ten minutes. fortunately the bus was late and i had time to cool down a bit...

the rides back are much shorter, arriving home for a mutual yelling over gd's work environment, a disappointing shower (my old shower was sooooo good post-snow), and a gobbled dinner with some of marco polo before we both crashed early


getting up twelve hours later, a quick shopping mission and a day spent absolutely exhausted feeling like a mere shell of a human being: between thursday's kickboxing and yesterday's snowboarding i have seriously hammered my poor body, and i'm feeling really good about knowing that i did this weekend *right*

all good, though: at least i could rest a bit. five episodes of marco polo haven't hurt. the daiya frozen pizza went down well, too.

the only sucky thing is that the recordings from last week's slam have been lost :(

Friday, December 12, 2014


boy, this week has flown by fast.

a wonderful start to the day, minus gd's stress after discovering that one of her bosses had unfriended her (is it friend list cleanup week?)

fantastically fresh powder snow balloon-squeaking beneath my feet

office intensity and too awkward to apologize
bank email recovery 
gd's bosses apologizing 

my first league of legends crushing defeat

a pleasant afternoon, two hours of brainstorming and acceptable compromise

hard kickboxing testing my endurance limits as usual, shaking arms and solid plank, the cute kid who winds up his punches
slow motion shopping with all the snow 

thursday arrived! and gd enjoyed it ^_^
i never thought about how problematic it is in terms of racism. perhaps that's why it's out of publication?

Thursday, December 11, 2014

the math

a really good night's sleep
decent morning
hating git, or sourcetree, or my vm setup
irritating email from my mum right before gym, a short visit with high power, a soothing response to my response

weather: apocalyptic

midday toilet run: three floors, six stalls, all occupied and two lines waiting

generally good afternoon
home and hurrying to p.m. then 


there's so much important stuff to post about (or repost), but only one of them blew my mind, took my breath away and made me go all mushy inside.


the rest of the day's items were only one-dimensional by comparison.


omg. oh - wow. AMAZING. gorgeous. intense. my cheeks were wet and my jaw sore by the time the lights went up, and not at all because i'd spent the last however long needing to pee so badly that i literally had to unbutton my pants to relieve pressure.

i was NOT going to get up and miss anything. i was SO right.


one of gd's bosses just crossed a line regarding how he treats his employees. she's secured a job with a friend of hers and has other options, but the transition will be a thing and change is never easy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014



setting my alarm but waking up late to find it off
running very late and the metro sign said 18 minutes, the relief to feel the next one enter the station was amazing!
office kitchen BO
cs lunch: i don't take the machine gun because it's good, i take it because it's fun and i'm happy to play a supporting roll
fruit run for fresh air

i am deeply disappointed by concordia university's decision to join the BDS movement, and i will be boycotting them in response

why are so many tutorials written so badly? (npm modules)

homecoming: stepdog, salad and some of harlock: space pirate (amazing!!)

gd putting me in my place for bad compensation for our comic's lack of layout (and me managing to fix it)


a long sleepless night giving birth to a ball of evil
realizing that i've been using my alarm wrong recently

a great and necessary and painful purging making me late for work and distracted

big junior being gracious about being ungracious, and later a pleasure to collaborate with 

my first half-decent league of legends  game

super productive meetings
rls at work


k-twang and co facebook unfriended me in response to my email last week. i don't know what made me think of that and check if that was the case, and i'm a little surprised to find myself feeling like i've just been dumped by a flame i'd lost feelings for anyway. i'm just as disappointed in k-twang as before, and i'm a bit saddened by but understanding of everyone else's show of support.

unfriending on facebook is as final a step as one can take, i suppose. today i officially lost two cousins.


walking the dog for quick shopping 
long dinner prep and the new bill burr special (excellent)

Monday, December 08, 2014

end of weekend 5am blues


late again
scrum master standin
pretty productive morning
getting my ass handed to me in cs
SxS chat

jon stewart on american police brutality and unambiguous racism

power outages
finishing and staging in one day!
discovering along the way a javascript failure that's caused me huge headaches

indian leftovers and mad men


still tired after a good night's sleep, but still feeling waaay better and actually getting out of bed on the first alarm
cold showers on cold days
south african inflation scare
league of legends including newk'd and xmas party prep day
left-side chewing dental chicken-n-egg scenario
dressing not-sharp-enough
security lessons with sasquatch and hac

manager's music taste and aggressive driving style
fancypants xmas party with so much wine i didn't even try the bar
unexciting but decent vegetable offerings
designer mispreconceptions
circus-level performers
just how addicted to league of legends are hac and saskwatch?

painfully bloated
super-quick mom chat
manager driving me to my door in a snowstorm

early to bed


early up for breakfast
gaming morning slow download and comedy

a pleasant -1 day after such a cold night
long coffee
back for more league of legends
ovary acting and some unfortunate triggers
the honey boo-boo: struggling to clean up but grateful that we didn't have the ants to go with it
rushing to p.m. for a pickup
overheating in the cold

killer joe - omg, what a brilliant, brilliant movie. utterly disturbing. very cool. did i mention utterly disturbing?

early crash


dreaming in a loop
long mom chat
good ffix progress but having to go before finding a save point
good midi 6 breakfast 
good shopping (vega protein bars! the coconut flavour has dates, though)
bad apartment smell source impossible to find because we get used to it so quickly

resting, shit comedy and saga

slamming, gd's mom hospitalized

amazing response to my first piece
surprisingly positive judgement for my second though my performance was shit because i was reading it off my phone. both prepared pieces preceded by remarkably similar ones.

revealing victrauma in the wake of wasting three articles of clothing


a tough night's sleep so far

Thursday, December 04, 2014



still feeling out of it from monday
admitting defeat
finally selling my mouthguard
putting aside programming work for the day and focusing on powerpoint presentations

significant laser intensity increase, a very tender neck

lost papers nightmare compounded
cari mela fail and their failure to comprehend the most basic requirements for customer satisfaction

sour mood + exhaustion = serious lack of humour
a very cold spring clean
plumbing the depths of exhaustion


2.30am dreaming up imaginary solutions for work that aren't really helpful 
sleeping in too late to do emergency laundry, having to drag ourselves out of a warm bed with sunlight streaming through the window and the singing from ghost in the shell in my head

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

stormy weather


no alarm oversleeping
full rush with missed birthday messages
arriving late to work and learning that my project's fundamentally broken

k-twang's wedding... is just a ceremony with no actual marriage? i'm not making my life, and gd's, hard for a parody

flu vaccine quick and painless, but i couldn't tell if i was giddy about the day's big events or woozy from the shot
giving up on the visa hotline after fifteen minutes on hold

having the word "step-dog" stuck in my head

epic email instructions fail trying to be precise and achieving the exact result i was trying to avoid 

overall shitty unproductive day
this almost-winter shit is aggravating because you don't know if you should be wearing boots or not 

kgb cancelling at the last minute
stepdog adoption
visa: third time getting through only to be forwarded to a closed line
ghost in the shell 2 subs only


so tired and so comfortable, far too cruel of the world to be dragging me out of bed

righteous indignation, cancelling my trip to sa and losing $900 in the process (aeroplan' cancellation insurance is worthless. why did i get inflexible non-refundable tickets?!) - instead of losing that plus two weeks' pay

very, very cold garbage day

a very tough email to send, getting support from uncle hate feels wrong and i left out a reference to the emperor's new clothes, family drama

almost falling for an IT dept phishing scam test

a long day trying to plug someone else's memory leak only to discover it's not the cause of our real problems, and being absolutely fatigued while studying fantastically boring documents 

kgb and wife visit and gd's pseudo-pizza snack deliciousness
comic publishing
omg ghost in the shell 2 (until i caught myself nodding off) is gorgeous 

stunning snowstorm... with my boots in the office