mentally excavated

it's been weeks of babysitting interns, and my patience is wearing thin. also, this morning our cto decided that because of the problems caused by moonlighter not following procedure, all development must be stopped so that moonlighter can continue to work alone and without following procedure.

something in there does not inspire confidence.

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i went out on wednesday night, yang let me in the back door: dubstep is house for the adhd generation. i was in need of good bass beats, the atmosphere was great, and overall the party gave me a serious confidence boost. nostalgia plus a sensation of getting back to the core of being me. it's the simple things in life.

one of the tracks got stuck in my head, some dude high-speed rapping in iambic pentameter. i tried reading shakespeare's sonnets in the same mode, and it's awesome shit.

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i haven't really thought about going snowboarding lately, but i guess that's fair enough considering the last few weeks of unrest. i'm just trying to get my head around the upcoming changes - already, now that pg's been away for a couple of days, i've shopped alone and run laundry and ironed. it's the kind of thing that takes time and energy after a long day and that i've been fortunate not to have to do...

... if these are the things that are on my mind, then our relationship was definitely not in a healthy place. also, i keep trying and failing to understand how one can come to a new city and be entirely disinterested in going out and having fun in it, or meeting people. and i've been dragged along in that sense.

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lots of stuff happened yesterday at work, but each item was just another step. nothing exciting, each one reminding me that we still have quite a climb ahead of us and not much time.

except for an argument with moonlighter. a long argument over the phone, in which he eventually convinced me to see things his way. the intensity was kind of disturbing, but the relief at finishing it amiably was nothing short of shocking.