i need more.

this has become a Thing. the weekend is over, i've achieved very little, and i'm not ready to face the coming week. i'm physically drained to match my emotional state, and i can't decide if i want to press pause on life so that i can play catch-up or if i want to fast-forward to three months' time to see where i'm at.

i'm feeling older, but not wiser. when i have faith in myself i'm surprised at how difficult it is to get the world to appreciate me. when i don't, i wonder at how insignificant i am in the grand scheme of things and how i don't deserve the recognition i do receive. i'm two years out of the army, i've achieved both tons and very little and have added two tough years onto ten tough years when i could've chosen an easier route. but i suppose that risk, change and struggle define my chosen path through life.

at least, for the most part, i've been able to choose.

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there's a piano relocating itself around tel aviv. yesterday it was in the middle of ben gurion, today it was in the park, both times i've encountered it it had somebody playing it beautifully.