disappointed

plumbing: i opened the external lid, and a can of worms: the water's almost up to the top. i'm uncomfortable with proceeding.

orange: i've been told i can ignore the automated threat that i received yesterday. they'd better be right.

papers! yay!

other papers: boo. a few weeks ago i sold myself down the river, and i just discovered that no technicalities will be able to pull me to the side... so i'm trying now for "stop that train, i wanna get off". it's not going to help, but it may be less stressful.

i just had the weirdest thought on the way back home, carrying my bright and funky sesame-street trash can filled with pretty cutlery and a birthday present [and all happy post-great service from a really cute girl], that in addition to all other factors, it's possible that the reason for my idiocy stems from finally beginning to actualize what everyone has been telling me to do for the last few years... to "slide". it's about not caring, and getting used to not caring, and that gets in your head.

and you don't really not care, you just stop fighting. that's not on. nobody can afford to do that.