Friday, February 29, 2008

for the day

occurences for the day:

i began the day watching a movie of a live performance of tool - the grudge. when i realized he was prepping for the final scream i zoned, and time just stopped for its duration. there's nothing like seeing the humanity behind the sound.

first order of the day: post-office power of attorney. it's simple, so the kid can pick up my parcels :)
second order of the day: shopping with the kid. it bothers me that he's still under the influence of the fantasy that real work can be done without documentation and without consequences. and that's in spite of him already paying for his crimes by having coworkers bombarding him with queries as to how his code works and why...

the bus ride to afula was alright - i'm completely into darwin's watch and it's just as good as the others. when i bought it i wondered how much he could possibly have to say on the subject, but i'm most of the way through and it's still interesting and fresh... and very amusing. classic terry pratchett, no disrespect to his co-authors intended.

the chocolate liqueurs that i brought from france for my cousins is dangerously high quality and filled with a lot of alcohol. and they have a beautiful merangue dessert in the oven, which means that my no-chocolate-low-sugar diet is taking a break for the weekend. on the whole i've been extremely good, and i know that there's no justification, but i really, really, really want to taste that merangue.

thought for the day:
there's still room for religion. it's the fundamental right of every human to explain the unknown with bullshit, and then to attempt to prove that bullshit.
however, once the steaming pile of exrement has been uncovered, the time has come to face the facts and move on to the next dungheap. we can systematically dump and clear out these turds until all our questions have been answered, while maintaining a meaningful world-view.

religion may be the opiate of the masses, but real opium use doesn't start wars, and it most certainly doesn't deny scientific thought and discovery.

penny arcade links for the day:
advanced marbles that i can play for ages

garfield minus garfield, or "jon arbuckle, sad sod"
jim davis tributes

good / bad / sad

good:
- arriving home to find the box set of the boondock saints on the counter
- a pleasant evening at hudna (נאHud)
- checking the dvds' post-transport condition and discovering that they're in perfect nick
- an entertaining magazine interview

bad / sad:
- shattering my SC's fantasies with a long explanation of why i'm not prepared to go to officer's course
- almost finishing what i had to do today, with my TL having to come in late to clean things up

i have this dark feeling about the coming week. i'm not happy.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

whooo-weee

1) i'm going to bed.

2) i've had a long day.

3) i'm sick of israeli public transport.

4) i'm sick of being patronized and having to patronize.

one:
i'm completely exhausted. my brain took leave just as we locked up for the night.

two:
our work plan for the next week is, to summarize, to do the impossible. making good headway, but the general direction is towards aneurysm.

three:
finally going home, i stood by a stop that buses are supposed to pass once every fifteen minutes. i watched two pass in the other direction, evenly spaced over half an hour, before giving up and beginning to walk. obviously two minutes later the bus drove past.

if this had been a freak occurrence i might not have been so angry.

four:
our SC literally treats us like we're in pre-school. it's disturbing, from personal relationships to worrying about us getting home alright.
it drives me nuts that it seems that that method of dealing with us is what nystire needs. i'm really trying, but i just don't see how being gentle and patronizing fits into the workplace. i have a job to do, and it's not babysitting.

on the other hand, if that's what i have to do then that's what i'll do, but i can't fight the sheer disappointment i feel. how did we end up with an army that has such... no, that's not a nice word. and my mommy always told me that if i can't say anything nice...

it's been sitting in the back of my mind for a couple of days now. i've now three days in a row gone to the toilet with my jacket on, and the front has this sort of balloon affect that gives me insight into how it feels to be so fat as to lose sight of the big picture.

[that was an awkward thing to say]

i don't know at what point exactly someone with "a bit of a belly" crosses the line and blocks his view, but i can't understand anyone crossing that line and not immediately doing the anorexic thing to get into shape. not being able to see my penis at a natural angle would upset me no end.

a thought struck me this morning, an odd, contradictory sort of thought. if we're to extricate ourselves (and the americans themselves) from the current military and political stalemate we need to get war-happy.

we need to go back to the days when fighters were heroes, war was respected and the frontline soldiers were motivated.

here's the contradictory bit: getting them all enthusiastic but maintaining discipline. oh well... next.

i had a superb idea for a program that can write all my documents for me. i hope i get time to implement it...

my cousins managed to bring a smile to my face by sending me this link.

a bit stirred

today was rough. a lot of things didn't go as planned, and in particular nystire did a great job of demonstrating all the qualities that one doesn't look for in a coworker. at some point i had to approach his commander in order to get a response to a simple question, and i made sure that my TL understands the situation so that if tomorrow's "chat" doesn't go well i'll at least have someone who understands.

i discovered this morning that there's a chance that if i go to officer's course i'll have to sign on a year more than planned... this is not something i can enter into lightly. i'm now trying to weigh the opportunity to walk out sane versus the opportunity to walk out with more army cred...

i spent too much time on the telephone with my commanders today.

after coming home and changing, sammy picked me up for our almost regular and much-needed alcohol hit. ta2 cheated and i ended up with a bit more than i could handle, so when i have to get up in a few hours' time things might prove unfortunately interesting.

it bothers me that i *had* to have a cigarette. the thought grosses me out now, but the last thing i want is to start "reminding myself" of why i stopped. that's not helpful.

*sigh*

at least my stress-ball's still smiling.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

pre-shave

yesterday went a bit better than anticipated, but it was really, really tiring. the most interesting and unfortunate thing to occur was my forgetting to return the key to the coffee drawer, and that upset a lot of people (and rightly so).

the doctor removed my stitches yesterday. he called the original doctor names for using more stitches than required, and convinced me that i shouldn't defer the surgery to next year.

i'm exhausted just thinking about continuing this morning. and that's after getting plenty of sleep.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

future black eyes

i'm SO proud of myself - on my way home i was wondering about the primary focus of my sketch yesterday, and i just scratched up the mock-up using the gimp and it came out gorgeous! ^_^

i'd post it but i'm keeping it under wraps until i've got something on canvas.

i worked hard the whole day, but i had to choose between two top-priority activities and one of them was sadly neglected. unfortunately that means i'm not as prepared for tomorrow as i need to be. which sucks. by 7pm i was too tired to go on, though.

i don't ever want to work with nystire again if i can help it. i don't know what his deal is, but his sulking from a while back has turned into something special in his attitude, and i really, really don't need that on top of the pressure i already have.
in fact, he was the only real cause for deep breathing today. the rest of the shit didn't get to me. i'm just gonna have to roll with the punches - at least i'm expecting them.

i almost stayed sugar / chocolate free today, after completing a full day yesterday. the only damage was serious though, nystire's commander brought in serious chocolate cake for her birthday. i just didn't have a chance.

i spoke to our SC about postponing my long-overdue surgery another year. i'm not sure i can mentally handle spending so much time in one year out of commission.

i've just been catching up on the bad astronomy blog:

more terran balls of dust: could it be? actual hope?

do scientists divide the heavens and the earth?

satellite destruction - pretty. not quite as intimidating as the chinese, though.

quick pre-bed blurt

the kid and i watched the golden compass, which is right up there with stardust: beautifully done, great story, i'm in.

afterwards i visited mmf, and aside from thoroughly enjoying this week's episode of israeli survivor, had an entertaining run-in with some friends of his and we got down to doing some planning for a project we're about to embark upon.

i really should've gone to bed instead of sitting online:

another penny-arcade must-have - NOT YET. i have to chill, i've got the shopping bug and bad.

animated battle pope. excellent :)

awww - so cute!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

open university

after gaining a slightly broader insight into mechanical engineering, it looks like something i really would enjoy. so much so that i was even more disappointed by a personal chat with one of the secretariat who explained the absolute impossibility of studying part time in any way, shape or form by anyone.

at least i learned something.

the day was hot, so i stopped off at home to drop off my ski-jacket, walked to the art store to get a couple of canvases, acquired another smiley stress-ball and took a bus home. after shopping i crashed for an hour, then paid singer a visit while waiting for my cousins to pick me up.

dinner was really pleasant, the political discussion surprising: i expressed my view that the current policy in place by the americans and israelis apropos "rebuilding" and "preserving their way of life" is counter-productive and that the quickest way to stop the aggression with the least lives lost is to crush them completely and utterly and to keep pressing until they give up all hope and surrender.

surprising that this was met with approval, by people who until a few years back were hard-left and vocal. at least some people are beginning to wake up from the morality fantasy, even if it's not enough to make a real difference.

the food was good, but the strawberries and ice-cream dessert was irresistible (not able??), and the effects of the previous night's lasagne were compounded with interest. i was in pain the whole night, and i only began feeling better a couple of hours after waking up today :(

in spite of that, and better judgement, i went to the lizard for a techno party organized by the same guys as last time, and it was all good. the live performance that started up at 2.30am (live? live techno?) was really good, and i was really enjoying it, the vibe, the cute girls all over the place... but i wasn't too happy with people constantly brushing past or bumping into my stitches.

i decided to call it a night while there was still more good than bad, said goodbye, bitterly took a "friendly" slap on the back (on the stitches, precisely and fairly hard) from the idiot bartender, and walked home.

i guess i was walking strangely due to the constraints placed on me by abdominal pain, at some point i passed some girl and her boyfriend and i just happened to be putting my headphones into my ears. i try to maintain full situational awareness when in public, and just after i passed i looked right, out of the corner of my eye catching a glimpse of her launching into what appeared to be an amusing mimic as she followed in my wake.

she took fright and scurried back when she realized that i was staring at her without turning my head any further. that gave me an odd sense of satisfaction, especially odd as it generally bothers me that i make strangers feel uncomfortable.

fallen demons

i laugh at myself regularly because i get completely swept away by music and lyrics that i only vaguely understand... bitter laughter, because i've been perusing tool and a perfect circle lyrics for the past couple of hours and discovered how much i've missed.

maynard james keenan has been my favourite poet since i first paid attention to ænima, and a lot of the stuff has gone straight over my head.

the interview (oct 2001) was refreshing to read, the songs about his mother [judith, wings for marie and 10,000 days (wings part 2)] are far more powerful in context.

in response, i just had a page flow concerning my late* father's mortality, which i'm going to try to disguise / dress up a little before posting.

of course, the backwards bit from intension is genius.

and i've just ordered three of the music video dvds (parabola, schism and vicarious) from amazon... i had to.

i've finally sketched out what i described a few days ago, but i'm having an issue with symbolism. i don't want to (and can't) include anything that forms an example, but i need to describe a direction with my left hand that strays from any discernible destination. it's something that reflects me, and i have trouble drawing myself as i desire myself to be.

i have too many books i need to read (a few of which i've already begun), too many ideas that i want to ingratiate with canvas, too many movies to watch, too many useful and fun applications to code - too many distractions from the important task of meditating on my anima.

i have a feeling i'm going to continue to ignore myself, for a while at any rate.

*erm... as opposed to my other one?

Friday, February 22, 2008

high-low

a good start to the morning, that was! the rest of the day was sort of mediocre... i got a ride to base, and immediately set to work.

best army birthday ever: the kinder brought ice-cream cake for his birthday yesterday. not only did it provide lots of entertainment prior to eating (it was frozen solid), but was such a ridiculous concentration of chocolate and sugar that everyone got completely silly: with hilarious results :D

the primary focus of the day was Keeping Calm. it got to a point where every few minutes i was doing the lamaze thing; at one of my sighs my TL shouted across the division - "GOOD!" :P

so in spite of the general lack of cooperation from the person i'm working with, and the fact that i'm not nearly ready to meet my new deadlines, and windows' attempt to goad me into physically breaking something* i managed to get through the day in a relatively relaxed state and i think i may be able to get the hang of this.

i was thinking about the fight / flight thing: i don't think it holds unless there's an element of fear, so i don't know how i can test myself.

we had a team evening last night, we watched the prestige (more intense the second time) and ate lasagne - it was really good, worth the resulting ordeal. if i make a conscious decision to suffer a bit for something tasty, then i can deal with the consequences.

i'm off to tel aviv university with the kid for their open day.

* the window management is evil

Thursday, February 21, 2008

bleeding moon

i actually managed to wake up at 5am, make hot chocolate, step outside and catch a glimpse of the lunar eclipse in its totality. it would have been more impressive if i hadn't been standing in the middle of a large and brightly-lit city, having to walk a bit to find a spot where i could see it between the buildings, but it was a fine sight nonetheless.

17 sleeps until i arrived in cape town! assuming that i don't pick up any bad habits along the way, of course :P

i can't find dead eye dick - new age girl.

why i love bunny

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

squeezing not helping

fortunately, somebody called me at 7.30am and woke me up, otherwise i would've been more than just an hour late. the headache was a bit harsh, but other than that i was relatively alright.

a few more problems occurred today, so not much progress made. i had a fight with someone over responsibility, which we managed to resolve eventually - but it wasn't pretty.

i was in a hurry and agitated in the evening, and my TL pointed out that i was being needlessly and unhelpfully stressed. i've been running this through my head for the last few hours, and ignoring the fact that it's the second time he's caught me out in two days, i think i need to refocus my general aggravation levels.

after pondering for a bit, i had a vision of myself sitting cross-legged and bound in chains to my past, pulling myself to the right with my work and to the left with my self-expression, trying to grip my long-term goals with my teeth but unable to release or be released by the other things to give me the flexibility to stretch...

i need to calm down, i need to let the things i cannot change be. and i need to figure out how to do this without ceasing to care, because the two concepts are pretty much polar opposites to me.

the lunar eclipse is beginning in another seven hours, so i think i'm gonna get some sleep and hopefully i'll wake up in time to catch some of it. i don't even know if i can see it from my neighbourhood.

all about timing. coincidence? emergence?

awful day with no end of hassles.

one or two fun experiences, at least.

after lunch, i dropped a glass. i held my umbrella in my right hand (which was the direction in which the glass was going) and my left was too far away, and in addition to that the guy next to me was in the way.

my commander picked me out for freezing instead of catching it, and i'm still puzzling over whether i could somehow have found a way. maybe if i'd dropped the umbrella (which would entail pushing my strained wrist with odd angles) or switched stance and attempted to catch it backwards with my left hand.

i don't know. maybe. what bothered me more than anything was that he told me that it's the second time he's caught me freezing instead of reacting, and the reason it bothers me is because he might be right. i need to unlearn this behaviour immediately.

it doesn't matter what music you like, as long as you've listened to enough different music to form an opinion.
and your opinion can change.
there's simply nothing worse than listening to whatever's played on the radio, and then liking it just because it's familiar.


although i was exhausted and frustrated the whole day, i managed to extract something positive out of it towards the evening. i'll see tomorrow how positive. in any event, as soon as i got home i took immediate action and swiftly went out with sammy for some strong liquor.

it was a very pleasant evening, i even had a chat with the hot girl that vision made out with, and sammy and i unintentionally performed a full walkabout of south tel aviv while searching for food. the hostel that i stayed in once upon a time? gone. what an odd period of my life the end of that year was.

being in the right place at the right time is great; better than being in the right place at the wrong time. but even that's far better than being in the wrong place at the right time.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

saving a prayer for myself

i got to base at 7.30am, and nystire and i left at 10pm. that involved a gallop through the rain, being hit by a tidal wave caused by one of those really considerate drivers that israel's famous for, and standing in the pouring rain at the bus shelter for over 45 minutes for a bus that's due every half hour.

today began alright, but then became one of those super-stressed problem-compounding-problem days. half the time we were unable to work because our systems were giving us shit and the other half was... interesting, and exciting.

from an actual work point of view the day was awesome, from the point of view of the idiot who's going to take the fall when tomorrow comes it was one of my least favourite days.

but i'm home, and i'm about to have a shower, get into bed, and hopefully dream something pleasant to make up for it.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

not so good

vast suckage. that's how i'm describing the day. i felt physically ill for most of it, too.

a few hours spent on a meeting - productive, but held in an airtight chamber. i'm still having trouble breathing, and because i was the first affected i didn't know that everyone else was having difficulty with the lack of oxygen too.

when our unit commander stepped out, our section commander took his seat and asked us if any of us had any concerns that we weren't comfortable broaching with the unit commander around. i couldn't help myself.
"umm, is this a good time to be discussing global warming?"

okay, it's childish, but it was amusing nonetheless.

most of the rest of the day was wasted fighting with my machine (that got put out of commission on thursday), discussing movies and books, and dealing with lots of arbitrary, unimportant shit that kept cropping up.

around 7.30pm, a few minutes before leaving, i suddenly discovered an enormous gaping hole in all my carefully laid plans, and after getting over the shock and horror and scrabbling frantically at straws, i got a ride out of the base and spent the evening brooding.

yeah, i found a solution. no, it didn't take too long. i'm pissed that i didn't see this before, and it's not something i need to be dealing with when i'm staring at the last grains in the hourglass succumbing to inevitability.

the kid and i pulled a quick run to draw cash, grocery shop and talk linear algebra, and i've sadly been online since.

buffalo springfield - damn

bad science has all sorts of [interesting] [bits] this week.

ready for work

the clean went smoothly, and i played some tekken while the kid cooked - it seems to be a pretty good exercise for my hand. i've been told it can take quite a while for the nerves to regenerate, and i'm playing with my smiley stress-ball as much as possible... but it's not as much fun as survival mode.

speaking of survival, israeli survivor has caught my interest. i don't think i'd watch it alone, but i was with mmf, fiancee and their cute neighbour which made it all the more entertaining. mmf showed me the beginnings of kane's revenge, and it gets under my skin that as much as i want to play, i know how badly that would mess me up. i have enough trouble with my internet addiction.

the kid and i watched young einstein while eating... good gods, i find it difficult to deal with such tripe even if it is quite funny. it's all done well, and it's well-intentioned, but most of the film i found myself wondering if it's not this sort of thing that average-joe thinks constitutes the stuff of science.

'cause when we suffer all the abuse of concepts such as "quantum" and alternative healing, it's directed at people whose views aren't too dissimilar from the comedy.

serj tankian - elect the dead: i bought it a while back, put it on my ipod, and didn't really listen to it too much in spite of my initial impression. the last few days it's been on my playlist a lot, and it is freakin' BRILLIANT.

i thought i was having issues with gtkpod yesterday, but this evening i discovered that the issues were with missing id3 tags. as soon as that was corrected i had a way of finding the damn songs.

i have to say, it's quite the impressive app. some of the handling could be smoother, but all in all it covers all the bases. except for not magically giving me more space on my ipod... 8GB is not even close to enough.

i think i need another ipod - 30GB or something, so that i can store all my music on it and use the nano for whatever tickles my fancy on the day.

sony finally scores - not so much with the beta, but they've made up for that with blue-ray. good for them!

the scientific process at work:
"not good!"
"good!"
"you're wrong!"
"no, you're wrong!"
and that's the way it's supposed to be :)

dropping your cellphone in the loo is no longer a bad thing!

i've always wondered, and now it appears possible to make use of the waste heat. good for them!

target practice with the american's answer to the chinese success. now for the next step in our evolving east-meets-west "who will control the world in the next twenty years" competition.

admittedly, as far as pros and cons are concerned i'm not too sure which side i'll support when push comes to shove. the americans have turned democracy on its head and the chinese totalitarianism leaves much to be desired... i suppose i'll just have to sit on the fence.

the spiderwick chronicles - this looks sweet as ^_^

beautiful, beautiful atomic photography... it's representative, but so's everything. a real-time view like that would allow all sorts of interesting manipulations.

-- added later --

i completely forgot to mention that i just watched a video on youtube of a few friends of mine skydiving... i really, really need to do that. the only problem is that i don't like the idea of tandem. i want a complete free-fall.

one day.

i mean, i've been saying it for years, but every time i come across it the need arises anew.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

midway through cleaning day

i woke up this morning
and vacuumed my room
then snow bros* and chocolate
but both gone too soon

now my playlist's all set
the serious clean's begun
my appetite's whet
we'll eat when we're done

* i forgot just how much more fun multiplayer is :)

and for something a little more serious, a short slideshow on sderot. poor bastards.

overtime

is it that late?!

i'm bombed.

we watched rambo at the relatively new cinemaplex in ramat gan, which has a decent screen, good sound and most importantly - comfy chairs with leg-room!
to make space they only have six rows per theatre, which gives it a cosy sort of vibe.

the movie is seriously awesome - it's a traditional rambo that comes with a simple and true message.
you cannot make peace with an unchecked aggressor.

i know that's not exactly what was said, but it's close enough to my issues with political impotence and moral extremism.
the unnatural modern tendency to forsake our sense of self-preservation and maintain high-ground that doesn't exist really does need some proper examination, and not by a bunch of headshrinkers that have never ventured out from their offices.

the kid's father drove us there and back - hair-raising high-speed that made me rather uncomfortable. i don't mind if i'm in control of the vehicle, but there are *very* few people that i trust as a passenger.

the kid and i started a game of munchkin while waiting for a friend of mine to arrive, and restarted to include him when he did. after that we put on grosse point blank.

i made the mistake of pausing, and i screwed up the sync. we restarted the movie and played more munchkin while waiting to catch up, and it was fine until the last 20 minutes where it unsync'ed by itself. sucks.

the movie was amusing, cute, but not in my list of must-sees. and minnie driver was, well... i guess she didn't suck, but i can never see her fitting the part of love-interest. i have the same problem with good will hunting.

afterwards i checked out the first few minutes of young einstein, and it looks as entertaining as i recall! (i'm very happy about this, last time i saw it it was still on circuit)

i've been online inappropriately (i should really be in bed) for an hour already, i've had enough.

haven't we had enough of sco? this is proof of christianity's devil.

the wolfman pointed me in the direction of the upcoming animated star wars. i still haven't seen chapter 3... and i don't know if i will. is there any chance that the folks at lucasarts will redeem themselves?

Friday, February 15, 2008

scurrying

i forgot to link to scott kurtz's gift, the photo's are simply heartwarming!

xkcd's laser elevator post - as i said, if he would start writing and illustrating science and math books i would definitely purchase them - education should be fun :)

i'm shocked. no, really, i'm absolutely blown away that with all the other problems that south-africans have, specifically the number of "regular" homicides per day, this sort of thing is an issue.
at least somebody had a damn motive in this story, and the victim was dignified with a death that obviously had some kind of meaning.
i find that far better than the arbitrariness of the usual.

i slept like a baby last night, and this morning the kid and i did the deli after sorting out monies with our flatmate.
i went to dizengoff in search of a stress-ball, finding an awesome bookstore ala never-ending story on the way, perused a number of stores and gave up - and bought tennis balls (and a part of my costume for purim and the easter vortex), then ran into the mongoose and his girlfriend.

they sat with me while i ate lunch, then the mongoose found exactly what i needed: a smiley-face stress ball. good stuff!

it was good seeing them, i had a pleasant walk back home, and i'm now rushing off to see the new rambo movie with the kid and his family.

the big bad day

that *did* go rather badly, but a twist near the end of the day made a good and mostly effective attempt at a rescue.

i don't know how i managed the day on four hours' sleep, but i made the shuttle so putting in my now-regular twelve hours meant leaving early enough that i could catch a ride - it's been cold and rainy. very rainy.

the highlight of the day was the team status meeting. usually there's a lot of nodding, sighing, and vain attempts to keep the bored look at bay. today i walked in a few minutes late, and after "the usual" for the first team-mate, our SC focused on me.

i think it all began when he asked me how much time i need to finish the work that's been driving me up the wall for the last few days, but i can't be certain. i gave my TL a hopeless look, and our SC and i began a screaming match that lasted until we ran out of time and had to get back to work.

i mean, the shouting wasn't caused by anger or disagreement, it was caused by mutual frustration with an undignified situation. the decisions that brought us to this point had to be made, and we're doing the best we can with what we've got. that doesn't make our situation suck less, though, and we're all feeling the heat.

and then - the break. we've had our post-extension absolute-final-last-chance-for-redemption we've-cut-it-too-damn-close for-real-no-takebacks deadline deferred a couple more days. our SC sent a mail informing us that due to this new state of affairs no excuses will be tolerated... so i immediately sent back (reply to all, of course) an email spoofing an "out-of-office", listing that i'm on vacation until may.

when my TL read this, he laughed and said "you're playing with fire". two seconds later the phone rang, and i jokingly said it was our SC. my TL answered, and his face instantly made the switch to deadly serious - "come take this".

i pick up the phone.
"in my office. now."

it was a bit difficult to wipe the smile off my face while walking in, but i managed to smooth things over, and he chucked me out as soon as he "got" that i was just kidding :P

after hometime one of my co-workers finished something i need to use, and came over to set it up. after much poking and prodding, he started to give up. i looked him in the eye, and told him in a flat voice:
"you know, there's no worse feeling than having something you've written and tested screw up when you bring it to the customer.
and knowing that i understand that feeling isn't going to make it any easier for you."

sometimes i just have to be a bastard. like sunday morning, when i inform him that not only did it fail to work, but it completely buggered my system somehow and he's going to have to sort it out.

on a completely different note, the hospital called me today to let me know that i can move my surgery from the middle of may to this coming sunday. at first i was confused, thinking the woman was talking about the biopsy i underwent yesterday. sunday's not a good day (a little bit too much pressure at work to be taking a few weeks sick-leave), but after the call i suddenly realized that the op requires a whole bunch of preparation... what the hell were they thinking giving me four days notice?

speaking of medical stuff, i finally had a shower a couple of hours ago, and i've now seen the stitches. compared to the size of the spot removed, the stitched area is HUGE... it's about half an inch long. what the hell did he remove? did he implant something? WTF?!

i was going to go to a live performance by a number of apparently good bands, but aside from being exhausted i realized after the shower that maybe i should be taking it easy until the stitches come out.

oh, yeah - i can't find a damn stress-ball anywhere. my thumb's all odd and constantly tingly, i need to get the nerves right again.

mmm - guava juice rules.

i've just installed gtkpod, and i'm trying to think of some justification for keeping my windows installation. i have snow bros, the gimp, streaming audio, ipod organization, and an awesome development environment (unused, of late, but important nonetheless). what more do i need?

oh, right. female companionship (and sex) and some snow-based exercise. happy valentine's day.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

too late

i can't believe how badly today went.

i did as i said i would, making the most out of sleeping late and waking slowly.

my troubles began when i picked the wrong stop to wait for a bus - this area is terrible for public transport. i arrived at the insurance company's building with 40 minutes remaining to arrive at the hospital for my biopsy appointment, and discovered that instead of just handing over the documents from france i had to make my way to the 19th floor (the elevators are difficult), make myself understood to three different people and fill out a form before i could be freed from the envelope.

i rushed off to the hospital, arriving five minutes late, and the woman at the reception sent me with my file to sit and wait. she didn't tell me that i had to hand the file over to the sister in charge in order to be seen, and with my luck the sister only came out an hour later:
"don't you want to see a doctor?"
"YES"
"then why haven't you given me your file?"

the preparation caught me by surprise. the last time i had a spot removed the doctor pulled out an extractor, punched a hole in me and that was that.
this time i had to read a three page document (i got the nurse to give me a summary) and sign things before i could meet the doctor :/

the "operation" was surprisingly painless - i didn't even feel the needle for the anaesthetic, but i can't shower tonight because of the bandages (middle of my back) and i have stitches for ten days :(

after waiting two hours to see the doctor for a five-minute procedure, it took another two after a quick lunch to get to base. arriving at 3.30pm when there's a shitload of work to be done isn't fun, and i only left at 9.30.
i have buckets more to finish and tomorrow's the real last day.

i stopped by 8mm to get my money back and express my disgust - it's been two months and they've screwed up my order for the boondock saints twice in that time. now i'm just gonna order it myself.

i paid mmf and his fiancée a visit, chilled there for an hour or so discussing some interesting ideas, and have just spent the last half hour online instead of getting desperately needed sleep before the big day. i suck.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

with a splash



definitely overdid it yesterday. i felt horrible the whole morning.

the poor girls walking ahead of me took the brunt of the mud flying past - every morning it rains it's the same thing, the bastards on their way in to the base are in such a hurry to sit in the queue (and it's a single lane, so no overtaking) that they splash everyone on the pavement.

i've finally had to face one of my secondary job functions ("useful" tool incorporation), and it really sucks. nobody else (well, aside from two or three masochists) wants anything to do with it, and i feel the constant need to apologize to everyone it affects.

as for actual work - there's nothing worse than finally solving a problem, implementing the solution, registering that it's not the correct solution and having to leave it until the next day.

someone really got to me today - he's been aggressively pushing the notion that inheritance should be limited. it's an absurd suggestion that goes against the grain of what makes us tick as a species - continuity - and in addition i find it worrying that after a hundred years of learning economic lessons the hard way (think communism and american wheat industry, social security and other fun stuff) people still try to find "better" solutions over a free market and everything that goes with it.

and this ties in neatly to my [here he goes again] position on the amount of control your government had over you, your belongings and your rights, especially when most democratic countries have political systems that are either impotent or corrupt, or both, and the lifeless or sneaky in charge aren't qualified to make decisions regarding their own little universes.

whatever happened to the concept of the government serving its people? or is the vast majority comprised of people who are totally satisfied with the state their world is in?

i got home late, changed and paid chubbyz a visit with a friend i used to work with, and after a chilled walk home dwelling on being myself in spite of the impracticality , and with unclear "i've had a tad too much to drink" eyes, i'm hitting the shower and getting some shut-eye: i get up late tomorrow and i plan on enjoying it :)

homosexual blood donation - an interesting look at an issue that's been bugging me for ages.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

self-pity

my sorrowful excuse for a wrist's out of the cast, and now sensitive and sore. and i keep experiencing pins and needles in my thumb, which is annoying.
the doctors couldn't agree on whether or not my wrist is / was broken, and against my hypochondriac judgement i'm going with the expert... at least this way i don't need to put on another cast. casts suck.

i don't care if the circular saw that the medic used to cut through the cast is skin-safe... it goes through hardened resin like butter and i felt it on my skin. there's nothing anyone can say to make me worry less, especially when he's slowly playing over a major artery.

i didn't sleep enough last night by a long shot, and tonight's already late so i'm hurrying through this. today was hard work, and as much fun as yesterday was with the SC today was not.

i did have a good debate with the new kid in our section, over the basic philosophy behind my being anti nanny-laws. i'm not letting this one go easily, i am the dog with the bone.

the kid and i went to gym to abuse the treadmills tonight, and i'm completely sore and exhausted after completely overdoing it. we've just done with a solid dinner, and i'm bushed.

it's raining, it's pouring, and the old man is about to get snoring...

inspired anti-scientology, v for vendetta is the right way to go.

Monday, February 11, 2008

i am my own worst critic



meaning that i think that i'm totally wonderful. and i'm happy to quote myself, as written above:

the programmer's condition
we spend all our time communicating with objects that cannot think - there's
obviously something wrong with us.
so please show a little consideration.
how to handle the situation
it'll be much, much easier for us to understand each other if you think of yourself as an inanimate object whenever you talk to me.


i slept in today, and drank too much coffee. i arrived at a meeting whose organizer wasn't aware that i'd been invited, but once we sorted out the mix up i played it to my advantage and sadistically freaked out my SC. i suppose it'd wind me up too if i saw one of my soldiers who's behind schedule appearing to not be working...

it was a good start to the day, we made it back to base in time for lunch, and from 12.30 i worked straight through until 9pm, pausing only for an hour to deal with yet another work-related but non-deadline and distasteful distraction.

ugh! my cast! so scratchy! i'm seeing the orthopaedic tomorrow, i'm praying it comes off already. enough!

it took two hours to get home, and the kid arrived shortly afterwards and joined me for sushi and ice-cream. i mean, he sat with me while i gorged myself.

here's a link that i got off of moonflake's post today (well, the comment's recent) that's left me flabbergasted. how do so many people this stupid manage to operate a pc and access the internet?
i feel a bit like ye olde priesthood when i say this, but maybe literacy (even lower levels of it as demonstrated in the link) shouldn't be relegated to the masses...

ArgumentumAdHominem is referring to a comment that herr pratchett made about the argument that darwin should've won a nobel if his theory was so great... anyone with the most elementary sense of the passage of time will immediately see the problem with this logic.

this video makes it hard to remember that we're looking at hard drives. lots of 'em. this is a fantastic use for x-box drives!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

nadaday

hmm - i forgot to mention that last night i got to see guitar hero in action for the first time, and it really is awesome!

gargoyle's quest 2, snowball bros and the original final fantasy filled in the gaps for me today, gaps left by the brothers grimm and tron (i'd forgotten what a tripped-out film it is, and the "making of" is really interesting).

i don't feel rested, though. i feel frustrated and confused. not entirely surprising as it was a beautiful day and i wanted to fish out my rollerblades... and then spent it glued to screens instead.

tidying up

i cleared an entire segment of my room from debris, watched thank you for smoking (great film), and then proceeded to resident evil: apocalypse in anticipation of the third. i kinda passed out a few times near the beginning, but the ending was at least interesting.

the kid and i went to cinema city to see resident evil: extinction. that is without any doubt the best zombie flick i've seen, it was gorgeous, thrilling, and carried the essence of the fallout world which really got me going.

the soundtrack kicks ass too, and the coolness factor is simply through the roof! i'm not even going to attempt describing the quantity of sex appeal, and there's a cute tie-in to thank you for smoking which made me laugh out loud.

the mission back home was a bit of a bitch, and now that i'm done being glued to my monitor i'm going to have a shower and get some much-needed sleep.

gabe has discovered a phenomenon that i'm all too familiar with

another bionic step

a sweet undersea cable map - this is what ships are supposed to use to ensure that they don't cut them by accident.
erm... like the few that were taken out this week...

marrow -> child, an interesting possibility

cool swarm-bots

another slashdot conversation that's more interesting than its article. i'm on the side of the tiger, these kids really did deserve what hit them.
i've shared my opinion on people who taunt animals before.

Friday, February 08, 2008

on snobbery and abominations

yesterday was hard. on the plus side, i managed to disregard most of the bureaucratic bullshit for the day. we're reached our deadline without making it, and overtime's not pretty.

i got home tired, frustrated and edgy. singer came over, the kid rocked up, and we talked for quite a while before beginning to argue about random bullshit.

i went to the lizard alone (the kid wasn't feeling good) to show support for the mongoose and freshmeat's venture. aside from an uncomfortable quantity of smoke, and an amusing and shocking moment where a girl's hair caught fire while i was chatting to her and i put out the blaze (the smell of charred curls leaves much to be desired), i have the following to say:

i cannot abide by hip-hop, r&b or anything else from this uninspired and uninteresting excuse for a genre. it used to be the case that the beats were fun to dance to, but even that no longer holds true.

the music's not even complex enough to make what i could consider noise, it's like a mosquito buzzing discretely (in the mathematical sense) aggravatingly in my ear...
watching a bunch of kids who'd boogie to the macarena writhing and gyrating gracelessly to the sounds produced by uneducated and unintelligent should-be failures who'd serve the world better by working in supermarket checkouts is cause enough to drink myself stupid.

unfortunately for me, even that level of stupid isn't enough to find the dj's saving grace. how can it be that so many people on this planet will settle for whatever shit comes out the speakers, on the sole condition that it's what's played on the radio?

i find it increasingly difficult to determine whether bad taste's direction of influence is from the radio or from the listeners.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

rushing off to work

wow - i was just looking at a skier's photos and feeling sorry for them.

i got to bed at a reasonable time last night, to wake up at 5am to shower because i didn't have the energy before bed. today's gonna be a serious push.

extremely pretty

the real high fidelity store is no more

this one looks good - maybe i'll start gaming again... one day...

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

too tired for more...

... than quick posts. also, typing's a bitch.

i had a huge hangover this morning, i think the drinking last night might have had something to do with it. i began the day at the clinic (i'm only going to be able to remove the cast monday at the earliest), then picked up my chequebook, had a fight with a video store (somebody else received my ordered copy of the boondock saints), napped, and went back to the clinic for an intimate encounter with a cute female doctor.

she was kind of flirtatious afterwards, but i didn't have anything to offer that wasn't either out-of-line or corny, buggrit.

i had a great lunch at shinto - turns out it's easier to eat with chopsticks than with a knife and fork with the cast on, and i got to base around 2.30pm for an intense afternoon / evening.

i had plans for this evening which all fell apart, so i've done lots of nothing and now i'm ready for bed.

reminders for tomorrow

better sleep and chips

holiday re-assertion

lunch trauma

meetings about meetings and misunderstood jokes about aussies

online instead of visiting mmf, whipped cream hot chocolate

bar-hopping with sammy

Monday, February 04, 2008

daggers out

a number of things upset me today.

1) the earliest doctor's appointment i could get is for the end of next week. if i don't see a doctor before then i'm going to rip this damn cast off myself. and i'm not in a better mood for having waited half an hour for a decidedly rude and unpleasant secretary to give me a load of shit.

2) our flatmate, who got frustratingly argumentative and defensive when i told him about a couple of things that he did that bothered me.

3) lunch today left me entirely dissatisfied and disgusted. i called the complaints line to... complain... and they called me back four hours later with the following to say:
"you called to complain that the main meal was not identifiable as meat. we're going to tell you plainly that you will continue to be unable to identify the meat, as the supply is not in our hands."

4) lots of work pressure in the wrong direction.

there was some good stuff though.

1) mmf's engaged!

2) the kid wasn't whinging randomly - it turns out his elbow's been broken since thursday. that's not good news, but neither of us could stop laughing hysterically when he told me and that felt good.

3) i got a lot of work done anyway.

i need to get to bed earlier tonight, i really didn't sleep enough yesterday.

rail gun reality

the american excuse to pull a chinese stunt.

cyberpunk sculpture

my brain's melting? that explains why this last week felt so good!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

after returning from france

was buggered last night, and our flatmate having the run of the apartment for the week apparently wasn't ideal. i spoke to my mum, unpacked, bought soup with the kid and went to bed exhausted.

this morning's shave was really difficult, and took about ten minutes. my cast is driving me demented!

i made the shuttle, and spent the first half of the day clearing email and talking about the trip. the second half of the day i spent working and talking about the trip, and arrived home to find the kid watching firefly, not having seen the doctor yet...

i just chatted with and thanked my cousin who organized the holiday, and now it's posting time.























Saturday, February 02, 2008

having returned from france

i'm a bit out of it after the flight, haven't quite finished unpacking and preparing for tomorrow...

typing with a cast is no less frustrating than writing with it. it'll take a day or two for me to upload the photos of my journal, so here's a teaser:


and i couldn't spell "off" correctly, either :/




since we've arrived back in israel (second most frightening landing of my life), the kid's been sick and i've been missing flaine.