Wednesday, May 30, 2007

not enough coffee, too much sugar

today was even dustier than yesterday, ickier and coffee in our section has become an incredibly draining mission.

in spite of all that, it was a great day! my mother is really happy with the gift, i learned a lot of interesting stuff today, and my "sense of placement" is on track :)

i'm ignoring the half an hour that i passed out. i don't know if anyone else noticed, but i certainly did, and i've been completely bombed since.

i was meant to work late tonight, but discovered early that there wasn't anything for me to do, so i got back to tel aviv relatively early and ran into spot and a couple of dutch buddies. we milled around a bit, then spot and i went to say hi to his sister and grandmother (and beg for some watermelon), then songbird rocked up and the two of us walked with her to the cafeneto, where we sat for a while.

i've been catching up online, and just had a long chat with my mom - mostly pleasant, although discussing her uncle is sad: he really is on his last legs, and he just wants to go already.

i need to get to bed already, i've agreed to help nystire's brother move house in the morning.

impressive view
i don't know why i see potential in this

wasted to bed

only two more sleeps until the weekend. i'm really feeling it now, completely bombed. and of course, i still have to read myself to sleep. i suck. and terry pratchett - the fifth elephant is addictive.

after posting, i sat at cafeneto for half an hour until vision arrived, and we made our way (much faster than expected, traffic was surprisingly light) to the food festival. i saw many people there that i haven't been in touch with in ages, and as a whole it was great fun.

i didn't eat as much as i'd planned though :(

vision and i came back after the others disappeared, we sat for a long while over tea (although it's still uncomfortably hot and sticky weather), and now that i've had a cool shower and gotten through a bit of intar-web stuff (like sending my mommy her birthday present!), i'm going to crash.

*tempting fate unintentionally* i'm hoping that i'm right when i say that tomorrow can only be an improvement.


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

inhaling the storm

our little beach mission was really nice, and i convinced vision to come with me to the cocktail room. it was quiet, so we had a drink, talked and enjoyed some great music, then left in time for me to get home around 1am.

i'm so glad i didn't need to shave this morning - wouldn't have been a good idea considering the state i was in :P
although i wasn't too late. unfortunately quite a bit of the day was mugged due to a lack of a kettle - and when nystire and i went to return it, it worked just fine for them.

of course. what have we learned? NOTHING.

today didn't go so well, the two-day trend must've been a fluke. loads of issues, general discomfort due to aweful weather (i mean uuuuugly), and it was all solidly capped off by my commander giving me fifteen minutes to fill out a personal-review form (not only do i hate forms in hebrew, but i didn't have enough time to decide on how to express myself).

and now i'm waiting for vision so that we can join some guys from my section at the annual gluttony festival.

Monday, May 28, 2007

caffeine rescued me

i was wasted this morning. i woke up to discover we'd had a power outage, and further that spot keeps his aircon on all night. americans seem to think that conservation is something that happens to other people. it's not too difficult to run a fan, mine works just fine :/

i slept on the shuttle, and as is usual when i do practically fell out, dazed and unhappy, next to my building. i slept the first 45 minutes, until nystire rescued me with the call of caffeine.

once that was out of the way, the day improved dramatically:
a) it's now forbidden for me to shave for at least the next six months.
no - wait. let me rephrase that. i don't need to shave for the next two years.
b) i thoroughly enjoyed the work today. i was called in by both my commanders to discuss my future, and i've been given some more responsibility.
c) i got a flat-screen today, and it works.

nystire and i missioned to buy a kettle for our section after lunch, and we set up a nice little corner in our offices. the only problem is that the kettle leaks. i hope he didn't toss the guarantee.

i finally got the pictures i needed for my mum's birthday :D
i've now not only mashed them up and scrawled an "i (heart) my mum" on them, but i've prepped the mail so that on the day i just need to click send. and pray that i have internet access.

i'm soon off to the beach with vision, this was an OC posting :P

steampunk for real

Sunday, May 27, 2007

the truth is in there somewhere

actually, that's just from the tail end of the conversation i just had with my mum, she was informing me of some of the current world events. going back to my previous post about enabling, the UN really is a terrorist organization, and as upfront as it gets.

and them denying it is like france denying that they've become an arab nation.

and while i'm still waxing political (albeit not wasting too many words), i noticed signs this morning for barak's re-election. his tagline is "restoring security", which i find only *slightly* ironic considering that it was his policy that got us überfucked before he was politely removed.

the public has altzheimer's, and i'm confident that we don't need anyone else named ehud in a leading role.

back to my diary:

i took a notepad and pen with me today, instead of a book - i'm rather impressed with myself for keeping relatively straight lines on a bus with no suspension :)

today i was productive. it was also an enjoyable day. figures.

i didn't manage to organize beard-growing permission [i almost left out the 'd'], so tomorrow morning i'm going to have to shave again :S

when i got home this evening i discovered that i didn't actually want to do anything. reading xkcd archives just sorta happened.

the discussion with my mom was a lot longer than usual. i had to report on vision, and now my mom's laughing at me for my paedophilic tendencies. my south african great uncle's on his last legs, so we had one of those conversations. i informed her of nystire's and my current predicament, with the girl responsible for my unfortunate situation at the beginning of the year now once again responsible for our ranks.

organizing the mongoose's release gift is becoming a hassle, the store is uncooperative and i think they know that we don't have an alternative.

and no thanks to the mongoose, organizing my mom's birthday present on time is tending towards nigh impossible >@

i was talking about being homesick the other day :P

i have this gnawing feeling that i'm forgetting a few somethings, but that's as much as is coming outta me tonight.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

freshly to bed

now that i've showered i feel clean again - our apartment really wasn't in a good way. hygienically speaking, of course, because it still looked stunning :P

the kid made an awesome lunch / supper, and afterwards (due to many technical errors that will see us moving back to that primitive form of wired networking in the near future) we watched episodes 18 through 20 of heroes, saving the last three for next weekend.

absolutely stunning.

now to get back into work mode. it's been a grand holiday (particularly the bits where i was able to ignore not feeling well and the last 24hrs), and i feel ready and able to face the world again.

i don't know what made me update my profile photo. possibly staring at myself in the mirror and thinking about the fact that i've aged considerably since the previous one, if not too much physically then definitely in every other regard.



vision only arrived around 9.30 last night, so i had time to burn brain cells watching boy eats girl. what a crap movie.

it has been a long, long time since i found a girl who i was happy waking up next to, and everything about last night (post movie) and this morning was simply perfect. hah, even the cynic in me is willing to admit that i'm in love.

the image above, which i just snapped off now, is of some random bio-trash that at 3am made for an extremely convincing cocoon, or praying mantis caught in a web. so convincing, that whatever it was we were absolutely certain that it was alive :P

and back to regular programming: the next item up is a little thing we call "emergency cleaning"

spraypaint and acrylic

yes, yes - i *KNOW* i can't draw :P
i was interested more in the mixed effect, and i'm really happy with how it came out. hell, since i bought the materials it's taken me long enough to get around to testing it out :$

Friday, May 25, 2007

friday afternoon entspannungstherapie

i don't know how to write in german.

and second breakfast was great. since we came home from shopping i've been reading and napping, scribbling and doodling, and it's now time to post some links (all bash quotes courtesy of nystire, as usual) before a weekend wherein i'm going to attempt to stay away from my pc ;)

oh, and i didn't get in touch with the girl from last night - i'm going to not be a man and just leave it hanging.
what a wuss, i hear you say - yep. pretty much.

speaking of which, last night was cute: i got an sms about this evening from vision two minutes after receiving an sms from the austrian girl i got excited about a month ago - she messaged me to let me know that she hasn't forgotten about the katjes ^_^

it doesn't rain but it pours.

stylish screen

from nightmare to paper

for anyone with a weak stomache who's about to eat breakfast i'd suggest not clicking on the picture.
but of course, something will get lost in the translation - my hand-eye coordination never was very impressive :P [and my artistic ability's lacking to say the least]

i'm guessing the dream was inspired by two rather nutrition'ly endowed ladies making out with some guy at the bar last night, then dragging him off into the bathroom together. it was at that point that it was too late to tell the barman that the poor sod'd had enough beer.

someone just commented on this post from last year, in which i quoted brigitte gabriel's transcribed speech from duke university. if you'll be so kind, please note that in the part of the post that i wrote, i didn't use the word moslem once. although the comment in question has reminded me of a simple, yet important point that i feel i have to make before breakfast:

islam is the enabler, and quite frankly i'm sick of people being PC and apologetic about this little fact. whoop-de-doo, islam may be a great religion (although i'm a bit biased the other way myself), but if terrorists and arabs-with-agendas and other boogeymen are hiding behind it THEN IT'S UP TO THE MUSLIMS TO DEAL WITH IT.

if you keep enabling, you are a part of the problem. i promise. and as such you deserve every ounce of criticism, and maybe even a little more than that.

yesterday evening:
reading nova swing and listening to tool, having coffee with spot and g/f 2, going to molly bloom's for magist's release / farewell / birthday party. i started talking to this cute girl, and i felt really bad at the end to disappoint her with my unavailability. actually, i was an asshole and took her number so as to disappoint her today instead. i walked to the cocktail room, got there feeling like hell, enjoyed a few hours at the bar chatting, then went off with ta2 for breakfast where we were joined by spot. and then it was time for bed.

and now that i'm awake (the nightmare was an excellent set of jump leads), it's second breakfast time.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

even when on holiday...

my meandering took me past wolfman's work, and he joined me in my little mission to mike's place - i'd gotten the idea of fish 'n chips and a guinness stuck in my head.

what the hell? you may very well ask.
you were complaining about being ill, and you went drinking in the middle of the day?

okay, the second guinness was NOT smart. but i did have a fascinating conversation with an ex-contractor just out of iraq. i was armed with a fair amount of knowledge gleaned from war made new and licensed to kill, and more opinions than you could shake a stick at.

once again, for anyone not paying attention:
war is brutal: you can't win a war by playing nice, and if you go in apologizing you've already lost. the psychological effects of war are far more important than the physical punishment meted out, and the simplest definition of a "beaten nation" is a nation that is no longer prepared to fight. you tell me that the iraqis and afhgans were defeated, or the vietnamese for that matter...
the arab world (at large) is at war with the rest of us: their religious doctrine and lack of uncorrupt leadership combines to make the western world at large their enemy, and they don't share our ethical qualms concerning truth and humanitarianism.
the fact that those of us in the "civilized" world can debate war's ethical implications is a freedom that we will no longer have if our advanced nations are ever defeated*. unfortunately, in addition to the fact that the best defence is a good offense, we're going to need to become uncivilized if we're to defend our soft, academic lives from people who cannot understand what they're attacking or why.
freedom of the press is a good thing, but irresponsible free press should be gathered up and executed as war criminals: the big media outlets have an enormous impact on the world today - especially in countries where the public opinion is taken seriously (strangely enough, the countries which receive the most criticism).
the amount of damage the media does with sensationalism and going after sob-stories with minimal fact-checking and even less care is unbelievable. getting both sides of the story is one thing, but making a point of going after the "other" side of the story in a completely biased fashion really should be punishable by death.

it's easy to forget that we're all human; and it's even easier to forget just how all-inclusive the word "human" can be.

* okay, it's hard enough to write a statement like this without wondering what it means, let alone read it and take it seriously. there are many david and goliath stories in our recent history, but the fact of the matter is that most of our history is made up of humans achieving the impossible, the unthinkable, and as long as there are people trying, there is a chance of it happening.

homesickness remission

it's been a long, long time since i've felt it, but it's made a return since i began to feel better. that'd be about two hours, now. i'm guessing it's a direct result of being at home with nothing to do - i've only felt that during my holidays since i left sa so many years ago.

i didn't go to the circumcision this morning, i slept late and have been getting my head together since i got up. i'm wondering if my ill health has been the result of something physical, or merely a symptom of not having dealt with the recent transition properly.

i've been so lethargic and apathetic of late, i'm wondering if it's time to re-evaluate and go through some introspection. maybe it's time to re-prioritize and redefine objectives for all this free time i've been wasting.

it's not that i've been bored - ignoring the last couple of days, of course - more like i've been focused on a bunch of would be nice's that i'm not ready to tackle yet, as opposed to slightly less taxing and more enjoyable methods of getting into a groove.

or maybe the concept of not doing anything at all is still where i subconciously want to be.

it's a wonderful day today, all quiet as normal people are out there in the world "doing things", and now that i'm feeling more up to it maybe i'll just go for a casual meander and see if something tickles my fancy.

and in the news...

one might think that if one had already proved to blogger that one is a real entity, and not merely a peddler of blogspam, that one wouldn't have to do it again. an entity such as myself might even find oneself offended.

i've finally gathered all the news, filtered it, and found it irrelevant to any other posting:

pretty CERN explanation
dark matter proof - unless i misunderstood, which is likely

transformers trailers
fair(y) use lesson

bash revenge

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

mummy knows best

one long, dreamy day in bed. i got up for a good lunch, re-watched the corpse bride with the flatmates, then crashed until an hour or so ago when my mommy called to give me a pep speech.

i always feel better about myself when my mother puts things into perspective. i keep forgetting that i'm still new at this whole "life" thing, and it does make sense that i'm completely wasted all the time. i just hope i get through this post-prolonged stress syndrome quickly enough to get back to enjoying myself.

and i'm not so agitated about tomorrow, when i have mum's permission to cancel if i'm not feeling up to it. i'd really *like* to be at the circumcision, but the impracticality of busing for two hours and my being unsure of my own well-being certainly detract from what should be a pleasant and enjoyable morning.

i did some shopping, having my accent laughed at by our girl-next-door: the kid says she actually spoke to him about that, it's her only retort for me correcting her hebrew all the time :P

aaaaaaaaand back to bed.

you'd never believe i was sick

vision arrived on monday night with movies, and we watched the corpse bride.

i woke up around 10am still feeling sick, and had to go buy yoghurt just so that i could have breakfast. i was dizzy and the shop was packed so i got out of there as soon as possible. spot refused to go shopping afterwards when he discovered that i'd already been, it's really nice to know that when i'm sick i can rely on him.


i had to go and buy something for the brit milah tomorrow morning - it's not the actual gift, just something so as not to go empty-handed. i couldn't get something nice like chocolate, because i live in tel aviv and worrying about whether or not something's going to be kosher enough for them is too much of a headache, and i also didn't want to get something that might melt.

i suck with gifts even when i'm in one piece. so i decided to go empty-handed. i did buy nice paper, though, and then stopped just short of a panic-attack about what to write. i'm too much of a perfectionist to handle things like presents in any form.

i spent the entire day sleeping. in the evening i was feeling a little better, although not entirely well (i'm still feeling unwell, to be honest), and i went with vision to allenby to hear some friend of hers' "band" playing.
it was okay, i guess.
we fled as fast as we politely could.

we walked to the meimad, for an AWESOME party. aside from drinking too much - i don't think i was supposed to drink at all, i was exhausted when we walked out. we slowly made our way back to this area, and hung around for an hour waiting for her shuttle to arrive (apparently we don't know each other long enough for her to crash here).

i've been sleeping like a baby since, and now i'm going back to bed.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

males: breaking the serve

my teammate and i were discussing talking on the phone yesterday. my view is that phones are tools to be used quickly and tersely, because anything worthy of a conversation can be handled face-to-face.

he was saying how it's difficult to keep track of all the different people in the conversation, and how one's expected to pay attention even when the call's come at a bad time.

but our previous teammate walks a different path. he avenges all the rest of us men by doing the exact same thing to his girlfriend, only he takes it to the next level. by next level, i mean he explains in detail how he struggled to find parking in the morning. he explains what was going through his mind and gives vivid descriptions of the different lots, then an account of how he parked the car.

not forgetting to mention any trouble with locking the car door.

he lists everything that was on his plate during lunch, when he took bathroom breaks, what everyone said during any arbitrary conversation... this man is our mobile warrior, guys, this is our champion.

now i think i'm going to brief him and then set my phone's call-forwarding to his number.

Monday, May 21, 2007

i am MORON

at some point this afternoon i passed out, and when i was roused everything suddenly fell into place: i'm SICK.

and i never manage to pick up on that shit. i'm always convinced that i just haven't slept enough. running on saturday afternoon? not smart. continuing to attempt a functional state for two days afterwards? not smart.

aside from that, today went something like this:

waking up early, getting to base, fighting with the screwball (the one from the dog-tag incident) and trying to be useful, discussing the birthright deal with our commander.

going to see the doctor (not about being sick, though), and having to wait an hour to see a bitchy doctor when my appointment had been set last week. 'tards.

visiting the education office for some reassurance, returning to give our TL his birthday present and then going for lunch. eating very little food, mostly due to self-consciousness. later i did the girly thing by balancing the minimal lunch with a chocolate and a box of pringles ("ketchup" flavour? it's msg-flavoured msg).

i had a *moment* at lunch - i suddenly remembered that vision was about to take a test. without my phone calendar beeping at me, i don't remember my own shit, so i'm stunned. and i contacted her just before she went in, too!

"washing": one of the guys made captain recently, so we tied him up, carried him out, and dumped a whole lot of water on him.

after my TL shouted at me for having come in sick (le oops), i got some solid work in for a couple of hours before coming home.

and now it's nap-time.

Sunday, May 20, 2007


i'm about to crash early, but i'm bouncing automatically to some wicked, yet ancient beats (milk incorporated - jesus loves the vache)

which reminds me - i bought deftones - white pony this evening ^_^

part one: waking up at 6am. then remembering where i needed to be, and going back to sleep until 8am. that was good.

i ran into our neighbourly girl (the one i wasn't too infatuated with a while ago), and we had a pleasant chat on the bus to the train station. there i met up with nystire, and we bussed to the university.

not quite as much of an academia feel to it as i would expect, but whatever. we found all the other soldiers and got to start the morning slowly (jewish time, always a tad slower than everyone else's).

the morning itself was good - the introductory speeches for birthright were good (at least one of them was fun), but my buttocks fell asleep very fast and after three hours sitting (i think it was three) i really needed the toilet.

we had a walk around the museum, which contains some really good work, and then nystire and i made our way to our old base.

i left the base around 5pm, spot got on at the stop by our place, and the two of us went to dizengoff center. we found a perfect gift, but it's slightly damaged so i had to pull a "customer's always right" schtick to get the woman behind the counter to make an effort and order another copy :S

we wasted some time in the comikaza, had coffee, and then took a walk to ibn gvirol to a chocolatier. that was dangerous, i was salivating immediately and couldn't stop with the pathetic deep breathing. i bought my commander NIS 50 of really good chocolate - i know it's good because i stole quite a bit of spot's.

thank you spot for not being a proper chocoholic ^_^

so a good tortilla and walk-off on the way home later, and we've watched some married with children and i've lamely attempted a few sit-ups: i'm so ashamed, my belly's becoming more pronounced and i'm incapable of getting enough strength together to do the most basic of exercises

*softly sobbing*

at least the watermelon's still good.


friday night: vision came over, and we all watched over the hedge. fun movie.

how embarrassing that i bought the wig and didn't go to the party.

i woke up early afternoon, had a good breakfast, and went running with the kid. there's a scene in gattaca concerning saving one's strength, and i tried to follow the philosophy. i really should have stopped running when i started getting dizzy, because i passed out.

that kinda sucked.

so we walked home slowly, myself quite embarrassed and feeling out of it, but a cooler-than-room-temperature shower and a good meal got me feeling better.

we watched the first two episodes of neon genesis evangelion while waiting for vision, and then watched falling down. odd that i was so sure that i'd only seen the beginning, because by the time the movie was coming to the end i realized that i've definitely seen it completely before.

we all went out to movieing to return the videos and have a pleasant evening. on the way there, though, i made a slight detour to return cag's earring. that was an extremely unpleasant and awkward experience.

it's now past 2am, i have to be up in four hours and i've had a draining weekend. but it's been good - VERY good. vision is without any doubt the cherry on top that's been lacking.

now to tuck into the dessert ^_^

good campaign manager?

Friday, May 18, 2007

sweet vision

yesterday was great, although there was definitely an edge to it with something uncomfortable in the air. that is, it was all great until i was almost at home.

pointy-haired boss, with whom i'd had a long personal interview in the morning, called me up to inform me that he was being pressured by our unit commander to have us (nystire and myself) removed from the birthright program. because of a frikkin' unit sports day, one of the most irrelevant dates in the army calendar.

i was PISSED. actually, i get pissed off now every time i think about it. i'm exceedingly grateful that ink's co-worker (i can't think of a good name, i'll go with "vision" for the moment) was late for our date, because it gave me time to
a) sort shit out in my head and get over the annoyance
b) meet up with my tattoo artist
c) discover that the comics store has moved to our area
d) find out where to acquire goodies for my revenge

i said goodbye to spot's girlfriend A, had a nap and a shower and walked to dizengoff center, planning to arrive fashionably late. i keep forgetting that we live so close, and after walking slowly still arrived twenty minutes early. this innate south african time-culture kills me.

i've been so disappointed over the past few years with the girls that i've dated, and i wasn't expecting anything more from this one. i was also concerned by having met her in the relative dark, expecting her to show up with some glaring beauty handicap (i'm a fucking champion at finding tiny, irrelevant "faults").

i also have a thing against "dates", specifically brought on by s'belle (and we met up at the same place).

i have to say that a) vision's gorgeous and i simply couldn't find that niggling detail and b) the date was GREAT. we sat at a really nice coffee shop, then spent a couple of really romantic hours on the beach, and then simply walked around tel aviv before she got on the shuttle home.

i want to describe her, but i keep getting stuck in my thoughts. beautiful, fragile, together, with deep eyes and a delightful smile. my life is finally sorted out, and i've met a girl who's totally distracting? i couldn't ask for more.

i returned to the cocktail room afterwards to send everyone her regards (our favourite barman offered to hook me up with her when i mentioned her name, and got all excited when i told him he was too late), and have a few drinks with spot, his girlfriend B (that was fast), wr and magist.

<rant>magist and i fought for a while after we left because of something an old friend of mine taught me many years ago: the difference between being a man and being a male. in fact, i live by the definition of being a man as much as possible (although i'm not infallible - there's still a male in here somewhere) - a man has the ability to suppress his male urges in order to derive satisfaction from the finer things in life. i would rather be lonely trying to find myself with quality than get it on with a cheap slag.

okay, i'm exaggerating for effect, not all the girls i turn down are cheap slags, but i expect a little more from life than a series of shags. and i'd rather enjoy the music than spend every party moment hunting women.</rant>

and i think (i hope) that i've finally succeeded, because vision's coming over for a movie a bit later on, and then we've agreed we're going to a "carrot party" at the zamir. everyone's supposed to dress up as a redhead. spot, the kid and i have been discussing showing up looking normal, then offering to show the doormen a made-up fire-crotch >D

so spot, g/f B and i arrived home around 5am, i had a quick shower to remove the sand* before going to bed.

i woke up around 10.30, and the kid and i went for breakfast before going shopping. it was a pleasant breakfast, but i forgot to use honey until i was almost done and the fruit was a tad sour :S

i put on my blades when i got home, and went out to enjoy the stunning day. as i hit the yarkon i suddenly realized i'd forgotten to do the fun shopping i'd planned from yesterday's mill around the mall, so i scrambled back home to change and get organized.

comikaza still rocks :) i ordered slaine: the horned god (both parts), and bought desolation jones, which is so far stunning. i bought the pink fluff for my nemesis' desk just as i'd planned, and a redhead wig and make-up pen for tonight.

i met up with spot and g/f B at the cafeneto, and we just got back from an excellent and amusing lunch. i'm going to nap now.

* i'm SO impressed with my boots - while on the beach i suddenly realized that i'd been standing in a puddle of water for about half an minute, and not a drop got in ^_^

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

more on girls and revenge

forgot to mention in the last post - s-cadet's response: "old enough to pee, old enough for me."
i've never heard that before, and after leaving a country where infant-rape is heard of, that's not funny.

i arrived SUPER late yesterday morning. specifically because i got on a bus at the train station that took twenty minutes to follow an odd route and arrive back at the same station. WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THAT ONE UP?! AND WHY ARE THE SIGNS SO UNCLEAR?!

i walked in to discover that nemesis had removed all my keys AGAIN. this time leaving the question "who am i?" in the middle. i switched it around to "as5hole" and replaced his keyboard, nearly busting his motherboard in the process and having to perform an emergency reset >D (oops. really.)

i spent some time emailing, then we went for lunch. on the way out from the mess hall i saw a cute girl who'd given me a light before, and i asked her for a smoke.
"how did you know that i smoke?!"
i just smiled, winked and walked ;)

we had a huge farewell ceremony that brought back a long-lost sensation of what it's like to serve in the military... it's odd that when you're in the middle of it all it's easy to forget where you are.

nystire helped me run some rushed errands, and we barely made it back for a second ceremony. i wasn't rude to the rabbi this time - he seems like a nice guy. later on in the day i received a phone call that went as follows:

"listen, you had permission to use NIS 270. here i see you did that twice, which make 540. you didn't have authorization for that amount."
"did you notice that both the copies you have are identical?"
"yes. i don't think you understand, you can't go over the amount you were allotted!"

i kept repeating myself until i couldn't control the laughter anymore, and advised him to show his commander before contacting me again. i was extremely explicit in my instructions, and repeated them a few times until i was pretty sure that he got the picture.

i don't think he's cut out for logistics.

i caught the dead-sexy girl from the office next door on her way out, and coerced her into assisting me with my revenge efforts :)

i sat with my nemesis and his replacement for a long, amusing cup of coffee, and then took the shuttle home with a teammate. the cute captain from upstairs was with us, and it was a good opportunity to talk.

i got off the shuttle, and while waiting for the light to change some guy walked up wearing the t-shirt we all got from our rollerblading group many years ago. we started talking, and suddenly he asked me what i was planning on doing tonight.
"there's a huge meeting in the park." he further explained that it was for some pyramid scheme, and that he'd really like me to go. i made it perfectly clear, in the most offensive way i could (and i'm pretty good), that in no way, shape or form was i going to get suckered in to wasting my time on such idle crap.
that was the end of that conversation.

i spent a short while prepping with nystire for the revenge effort, catching up on net-stuff (like chatting a lot and reading arbitrary news), and then crashed for an hour.

it was HARD to wake up. i walked in a daze to the coffee shop, got a super-strong to go, and began the long walk to florentin.
nystire called me up to explain that his laptop, his extremely powerful laptop which happily runs vista, cannot handle communicating with our phones. mad phone calling and harrassing, in both directions (i couldn't do much more), when it suddenly struck me that spot has an available laptop.

cool, solution found, i made my way to the bar. awesome bar, great style, and as i walked in they put on a portishead album and let it play. i was early, so i got myself a drink and sat and chilled until lipgirl rocked up.

with a bunch of friends whom i shared no connection with whatsoever. so i sat with them, pretty much silent and just enjoying the funky music in spite of being generally uncomfortable with these strangers. at some point i realized that i recognized one of the girls - i'd met her and lipgirl together, and i amazed myself when i discovered that i remembered her name and what she did during her army service from talking to her so many years ago!
and i generally suck with that sort of thing. now if only i could get it right with the hot girls.

anyway, lipgirl was looking good, but i had to disappear before turning into a pumpkin so i got a very warm hug goodbye and walked off to find a taxi.

i met up with spot and his blonde long-time girl at the zinc, 'cause some things are more important than sleep :P
the waitress was fine, and i somehow ended up having a Deep And MeaNingful conversation with her. i didn't get her number, because quite frankly by the time we were all ready to go i was seriously feeling the alcohol (i'd had more to drink at the previous bar, and a guinness and shooter on top of that broke my limit) and didn't trust myself to keep my cool :P

it was a fun outing though, it was refreshing chatting with spot's girl again. good going, spot :)

spot really pissed me off - after all the drama, he then came to tell me that his laptop is toast and completely unusable. that SUCKED.

so i got in the shower, wasted, to discover that the soap had disappeared. then i began to recall spot saying something about moving the soap, and it all clicked into place. yes, he'd warned me, yes, he'd told me to get more, yes, and i may or may not have responded.
bottom line, i made him get out of bed with his woman to get me soap, which as pissed off as that made him (with his girl giggling hysterically in disbelief in the background), i find rather amusing in retrospect.

i woke up after 7am, wondering my alarms hadn't gone off. or if i'd turned them off and gone back to sleep. either way, i was going to be late, and it was a mad dash to get to base. my tardiness was noticed again, and only understood around lunchtime when my alarm went off while we were eating.
i must've been pretty fucked up.

i got stuff done this morning in spite of spending time not sorting out the revenge. until someone finally remembered that if we simply switched sim-cards, the themes would swap! how stupid are we?! (we were trying to upload directly with a cable. pffff.)

so nystire and i tested the theory, it worked beautifully. after lunch, before the big meeting, my nemesis arrived. we switched out the phone right under his nose. i was putting it back while distracting him with complete bullshit, and that was a serious rush :P

all was going well until we were two minutes outside of the meeting. for some reason he checked his phone - even though it was supposed to be off - and was shocked with this background.

i couldn't take any chances, so i called him immediately (the ringer was set to EXTREME LOUDNESS), and everybody heard his phone blasting aqua - barbie girl. it wasn't quite what i'd intended (i planned on doing it during the meeting itself), but the effect was good enough. he began freaking out, convinced that i'd downloaded everything onto his phone and that it'd cost him money, and then he freaked out even more when he thought that i'd deleted all the media that he had downloaded and paid for...

i mentioned to nystire that he hadn't noticed yet that we'd swapped the phones, and he overheard and demanded his back. then we messed with him a bit more and by the time we walked into the meeting he was left holding his sim card and with no clue where the phones had all gone ^_^

our commander asked us each to write something anonymously and pass it over. when he read out the first one, i asked the guys what it meant. when they explained it to me, i responded solemnly: "oh. i guess i didn't write that one, then." - i'm still giggling thinking about it.

the meeting was long (two hours) and i was on the verge of drooling by the end of it. i also needed to pee desperately, but i'm fairly sure you didn't need to know that. [actually, there's a reason for me mentioning that but this is good enough for a personal reminder, i don't want to go into detail]

just before leaving, i got and grasped another opportunity; after all that had transpired i'd reset my phone's settings and switched his out again. this time i put a cute, pink kitty sticker on it, and fixed the settings so that even if he changes them, the next time his phone is turned on they'll reset back to barbie girl and that wallpaper. he does have a range of wallpapers to choose from >D

i bailed immediately - now's he gone for the week of guard-duty with the wrong phone that will shame him in front of the real soldiers. when he gets back, his desk is going to be bright pink and i will have embarrassing posters of him posted all around.

spot and i went out for a smoke after i got home, and ran into our new neighbour. she is cute, very sexy and amusing as hell. and quite touchy-feely, which doesn't bother me in the slightest.

now to shower and chill before meeting with the kid at cafeneto, before going to bed for the last weeknight before an AWESOME weekend ^_^

an AWESOME weekend beginning tomorrow evening with a date with ink's incredibly cute co-worker :D

quote for the day:
dishonourable discharge: claiming the fetus you're responsible for isn't yours

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


i'm a tad out of it, this is merely to report that tonight involved three cute girls and lots of alcohol.

another baby joke :S

Monday, May 14, 2007

fridge-quote day

spot and i were discussing the distinct lack of fridge-quotes (ignoring the couple i've posted on my blog) since we moved in, but i feel that today's bits and pieces make up for that.

my neck is painted lobster right now, and i can feel the heat. at least everything else seems fine. i didn't mean for my commander to see my nipple piercing: i took off my shirt in a vain attempt to even out the tan after he dropped nystire and me off, and for some reason he drove past us again :S

in reference to the photo above, i thought that anyone else sharing moonflake's take on scientology would enjoy this slashdot discussion... i know i did.

a great moment inspired by questionable content:
i don't remember what we were discussing that involved old ladies, when i heard nystire's teammate (who is a COMPLETE space-cadet) mumbling something about "i haven't done that yet".
"you've never had sex with an old lady?"
<pause for laughter and a few jokes>
directed at my commander: "he's never gotten the opportunity to say 'happy birthday grandma!' during sex"
i'm quite impressed with my TL for managing to stay on the road while laughing that hard :>

during a historical explanation (i hate using an historical, i can hear the 'h'!) our guide made mention of the religious (specifically christian) habit of keeping a dead saint's body parts around as "holy artifacts": cue austin power jokes about limbs.

"gimme a hand, wouldya?"

"geez, i offer you the finger and you take the whole arm!"

"i'm sorry, i've got two left feet"

"i see you've got a good head on you" (that certainly lends a certain something to the expression "giving head")

"are you eyeballing me?"

and worse...

we have a guy of indian (dots not feathers) origin in our group, while getting the barbeque on the go he was given the grill to hold while our commander fanned the flames:
"hey, it's hot! just 'cause i'm indian doesn't mean i don't feel it!"

... and that led on to an amusing conversation about necklacing, but then nystire and i had to explain what that is. one of the guys in our section led that thought on to the story i told him about the cannibal they caught in natal a couple of years ago (where they showed on the news the cops hauling off the pot with limbs sticking out), and soon after the meat was ready to serve.

so to sum up my day:

i left too early, and spent an hour waiting on the side of the road. at least i had good music to keep me company.

the first part of the trip was nice, but i was in the "city of david" (a complete misnomer) last year and that was still relatively fresh in my memory.

lipgirl called me up, it's her birthday tomorrow and i'm invited :)

the barbecue was nice, there was enough food but too many flies, and i enjoyed sitting up on the side of the hill reminiscing about sitting on the side of table mountain and lion's head - growing up on the side of the mountain definitely gave me an attachment to anything resembling :P

we went to a place called "mini-israel". if this place had been in the states, it would have been appropriate. rather disneyland-ish, i don't think that it's the kind of place to visit if you have the ability to go to the places themselves. you've come all the way to israel, and you're not going to do the tourist thing? don't go visit some crappy scaled-down version of the country's notable locations.

i've been online longer than i anticipated, i think it's a reflex after last night: my connection was fine, but the damn router went down.

now to nap before hitting the cocktail room.

"involved poor judgement" indeed

Sunday, May 13, 2007


i'm connected. i hope. i am excited now.

mother's day -

and i missed it :$
how embarrassing.

i woke up alert today, unfortunately the trade-off was being totally inept and lacking in coordination. it took me a full 20 minutes to shave.

getting to base was pleasant, and from there everything got stressed. i couldn't actually get any work done, and i spent most of the day missioning around organizing food for a trip tomorrow. i learned all sorts of "interesting" things, and unintentionally shouted at the base's rabbi just to round things off.

oh, and i'd left a "surprise" for my nemesis that he totally misinterpreted and was really happy about. i'd stuck a bunch of post-its around his office on thursday with
on it, and hid one in his wallet. he thought it was a happy face. stupid messenger icons.

i went with nystire and a few other guys to be lectured about a certain fun form of community service this morning, and just before finishing the day the two of us joined a couple of girls to be interviewed for it - this proved highly amusing.

spot and i went to the cafeneto when i got home - it's definitely the hair. now that i have it, i keep attracting stares and positive attention from cute girls... i'm totally not shaving it off again!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

this is my theory...

... it is mine, etc.

i suspect that spot's laptop(s) is / are intermittently interfering with my signal, regardless of the fact that it's / they're sitting in the opposite corner of the apartment. wireless bandwidth hogging?

a brontosaurus is thin at the one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and thin again at the other end.


we had a traditional, relaxing afternoon with good food. the kid and i watched next friday, and although i really don't like stoner movies there were a couple of enjoyable bits. we watched the illusionist, and while it didn't wow me it was a good movie. prestige did it better, though.

oh, and i have to apologize to spot for taking more percentage of the rum than i'd intended, and for coming across as just plain mean when i'd misunderstood the complaint :P (i thought he was complaining about the cup he got, we still haven't bought glassware)

hmmm... we're contemplating acquiring a projector. our lounge is *perfect* for it.

we had coffee at movieing - the sexy waitress was dressed in a way that totally does it for me; funky cargo pants and a tight top. not only did it bring to mind fond memories of lake, but it really does turn me on.

after the traditional coffee came the traditional ice-cream, important talk of snowboarding, and now it's bedtime. i'm really happy to have achieved my primary objective of sleeping enough this weekend :)


i know this isn't going to last, so here're some fun links i found this morning:
sweet mog
matt and ian are totally back ^_^

[EDIT!!! - i can't believe it's still holding up, and i'm about to disconnect it manually to connect my sat phone :S]

umm - yay, scientology?
and it's good news for creationists?
for tomorrow :)

dark matter
carbon problem
carbon solution

of COURSE global warming is a good thing

plastic birth
big red button tales

electronic sheep

go on! get your own, today!


[NOTE: i meant to post this yesterday, so "yesterday" refers to thursday.]

i got some really good work done yesterday, and i've been jumping up and down since i've realized that although it's taken three months, i'm finally in a situation where i can prove myself useful AND my relationship with my team is almost normal.

trinary operation: i used the cute (EXPR) ? TRUE : FALSE; shortcut yesterday, and my commander complained because he's not familiar with it. i did a bit of a survey, and it turns out that it compiles to a regular if - then - else, so for readability's sake i used that instead. and then figured out a way to make it more efficient, so i guess the fun way isn't the best (nystire called it "bad programming practice", which was good incentive to leave it alone).

yesterday, like today, and the last two weeks in general, was hot, sticky and horrible but with a few teasers of a drizzle every now and again. i kept getting excited everytime i felt little splashes of rain, while everyone else was inexplicably diving for cover.

there was yet more sexual tension added - someone asked me if i'd had a haircut, and when i nodded in the affirmative he responded with "if i saw you on the beach i'd totally want to fuck you".

so, girls - once again i have an excuse to be uncomfortable hitting on you. i don't actually like knowing how it feels.

i went home to shower and change after stopping by the bank to pick up my new credit card.

a few months ago i had an odd dream, and on the shuttle home that dream became an unnerving reality. someone had given our shuttle a few bottles of coke (hence the photo of my artful vision using coke's marketing female-figure) and we were passing them back to the guy with the bottle-opener. *BANG* deja vu *BANG* recollection. creepy.

nystire came with me, and bore witness to my finally achieving phone success! it turns out that i was using the wrong algorithm (Q2) to convert wav files to mp3, when i needed to use the lowest quality (Q9). go figure.

my favourite shoes (skateboard shoes, el-cheapo and comfortable as hell) finally died. the spongey bits have come out and they're sadly sucking now :'(

nystire's nemesis solution: dude, you are one twisted and sadistic bastard.
i'll post the plan after it's executed, because i never can tell if anyone in the know might be reading this ;)

we took a long bus to nowhere for a section evening. i was appalled that the guests who'd arrived on time were expected to participate in cleaning... i'd be embarrassed if it was my house.

it turns out that my supposition was correct - the guys who came are a good group, and their interaction with our commanders let us know that we can relax a bit.
it irked me no end that i wanted to go and see what was up with ink, and was planning on leaving around 11pm. these jokers only started around 11pm.

and i wasn't hungry at all, so i didn't really appreciate the barbeque.

after a bunch of boring speeches - i kept passing out - i got a ride to the train station from our section commanders, and it was a great opportunity to get to know them better, or more to the point for them to get to know me a bit better.
again: it's only taken three months :S

i took a taxi to the cocktail room, and there were a few people and the music was good. apropos ink, and the list i wrote the other day...
exit 2: NOTHING doing.
i actually saw her with her fiance towards the end of the night, but it didn't matter because i wasn't going to push anything in the first place.

i was drinking way too much, and by the end of the evening i just needed to get to sleep.


my arm's still bruised black and sensitive, and i woke up feeling like i'd been tea-bagged and i don't know why.

my sat phone's now funky as hell, but i don't really use it if i'm not on base so that's kinda disappointing. i was thinking of forwarding all my regular calls to it, but the kid told me it costs per call so sod it.

-- i wanted to post links to my ringtones, but i couldn't upload them ("unrecognized file type" indeed)--

we went shopping this morning, then spot and i went to movieing while the kid watched spiderman 3. he reported it as TERRIBLE, but we had to see it anyway so we organized tickets for the 7pm show.

movieing: we had to wait 45 minutes to be seated, and in the meanwhile rented the illusionist and basic. we had their excellent toasted bacon, egg and cheese (our great connection to yiddishkeit, and the sole reason for us not just going somewhere else) and returned home to chill before the movie.

and fight with my network connection :(

after giving up, spot and i went off to watch spiderman 3, having just been warned, and i gotta say that the warning was BULLSHIT.
yes, there were HORRIBLE, PAINFUL scenes, and more than a handful of them, but the sheer coolness and beauty of the good scenes made it all worth it. and as far as being true to the comic, it was definitely good enough. i'll give it a thumb up and a thumb down - the bad bits are bad. be prepared, don't let a few aweful directing mistakes ruin your fun.

we picked up the kid on the way back for ice-cream, then came home to watch basic. it's a lot less action than we'd have liked, but it's a great story and well worth paying attention to ;)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

blood brother

another 150 sit-ups this morning, but i've been informed that it's not wise to do anything too strenuous until tomorrow so that was as far as i got. i'm most happy with myself, though :) [although i'm straining enough to not damage my neck further that my neck muscles are all tight :S]

i finally *fully* understood the concept of fixed-point, and it's so obvious and simple that i'm even more annoyed about not having gotten it in the first place.

awesome lunch off base today, then straight back to donate blood. it's the first time i've ever donated (they're finally allowing south africans to leak!), and aside from my arm being a bit sore and damaged (apparently i didn't squeeze hard enough) i felt GOOD afterwards...

what can i say? i like needles. maybe i'd be doing better if i'd been getting a piercing a week or something :B

anyway, it was an excellent bonding experience - a whole bunch of us (including my commander) sat around laughing and being silly / disgusting for a while afterwards, nystire was saying that there were other donors getting freaked out...

my commander referred to silence of the lambs ("i ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti") on the way in, and after all the bad vampire jokes i was thinking out loud about somebody crawling under the beds with a straw, guzzling while donors fainted away and medics panicked... oddly enough, this drew laughs and not wary stares - yay! my co-workers are beginning to understand that i'm joking! ^_^

i sent ink a text message, but i didn't get a response. the possible scenarios (in order from best case to worst) are
a) she simply didn't receive it
b) she's not happy that i sms'ed
c) her fiance's going to beat me senseless
d) her fiance's going to want to join in

nystire and i met up with a few girls from my previous branch and his fiancee, and sat down at some weird coffee event thing at rabin square. when we all got bored, we went stationary shopping and the girls split, the three of us going to sit and chat at cafeneto for a while.

when i got home, spot convinced me to return to cafeneto to eat, and we left there an hour and a half later. i continued struggling with my phone when i got back; no luck there. i'm pretty much giving up. and i've made awesome .wav ring tones of closer to mario too :(

i just read about an aweful incident - americans.
i was wondering where mac hall had gone to.

how is it thursday already?!?!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

i like them apples

my primary issue yesterday was my routine - i don't really have one. all i know is that i'm no less used to daywalking than i've ever been, and i find it hard to get through the day... late afternoon always sees me doing okay.

i had a haircut yesterday... a real one, not just a shave. that i had to wait for two guys before me was one thing, but having to watch him using the clippers on the guy's beard (as in, a shave for all intents and purposes) and then give his head a solid five-minute massage when he could see that i was getting agitated, and then once he was done with me (only taking five minutes, of course) saying "if you like it, great, if you don't, fuck off" really all came together to make my experience pleasant and memorable.

i discovered yesterday that although i've breezed through the theory of fixed-point binary arithmetic before, i've never actually done it.
i mean, i could tell you all sorts of uninteresting facts about its limitations, but i couldn't tell you how it's implemented.

i kept losing track of what was going on (it didn't help that it was explained in fast hebrew), and eventually had to figure it out for myself because i'm not used to the terminology that nystire was using to try to help me (i'm not kidding, this is sad).

i was disappointed by a really cute girl who'd caught my eye the other day when i overheard her talking to some friends of hers during a cigarette break. i keep forgetting that age and station do matter :(

spot and myself discussing a shirt the mongoose's sister gave me:
"the mongoose's sister gave it to me as a present"
"oh, i thought you meant *my* sister!"
"no, the only thing your sister ever gave me was an STD"
"yeah, she got that from me"

so i spent a couple of hours last night fighting with my satellite phone, i simply couldn't get any of the software that i was given for it to help me upload things. i did manage to get my pc to ask if i wanted to erase all the numbers on the sim, which i thought was fantastic - i'd been trying to backup the numbers to my pc.

i napped with my iron maiden dvd playing in the background, and woke up for a band history lesson before getting all dressed up (okay, i just used a bit of hair-gel for the first time in ages) and catching a shuttle with spot to the cocktail room. much drinking ensued, it was once again an empty house.

i had an amusing chat with ink, which somehow got me her number when i walked out. i've been wondering what i should do with it, considering her potential marital status, but i think i'm going to text her tomorrow and see where that goes.

i took a brisk walk and hopped in a taxi to arrive home by 2am, the booze still throbbing through my veins.


working day 3: hangover. oddly enough, i found it a tad easier to get through the day with the cotton-wool in my head, except for the part where i demonstrated my shameful lack of fixed point skills and essentially had a team-mate sit patiently and solve the damn problem for me.

has it been that long since i've had to think for myself? that's NOT going to happen again.

this afternoon i bought silly-looking headphones at nystire's advising to replace my ipod ones that have been acting up. on the way home i got a chance to put them through their paces, and they're rock solid, comfortable and the audio quality is good in spite of their being quite cheap. and i've been struggling with the silly toys apple supplied :S

i got back into basic exercise this morning, and my tally for the day stands at 350 sit-ups and 80 push-ups. i doubt i'll do more before morning though, because my neck's been giving me trouble the last few days.
i've caught myself sleeping on my belly a couple of times the last week or so, and it comes down to not having enough energy to keep my spine aligned... if i don't manage to stop this i'm going to be taking incredibly unpleasant sick leave.

our fire from the weekend:

Sunday, May 06, 2007

"the only reason...

...that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there."

wow - i completely forgot to write about waking up spot for cleaning yesterday:
he was complaining about waking him up when the toilet was unavailable - he'd sleepily walked in on the kid (not the first time).

spot: "do you want to see me go back to bed right now?"
me: "do you want to see me crap on your bed?"
voice from the toilet: "i do!"

anyway, it turned out that we were the only people who'd gotten organized for the bonfire, so we had to do some shopping for other people before we got on our way. piles picked us up, and we drove off to the beach.

we found a perfect spot, and began setting up. as we lit the barbeque (and we'd been very serious about getting it started properly), some pig rocked up and began throwing sand on it... there weren't ANY signs ANYWHERE telling us no fires.

so we moved one beach further and picked a decent area where there were already other fires underway. we were just beginning to get set up when we got a phone call telling us that some of the guys had already unpacked the logs, ingeniously ignoring the fact that they'd had no idea how far away we were.

i was barefoot, and expecting it to be a short mission remained that way. after about 20 minutes of shuffling about hunting for them, we met up and began carrying the fuck-off heavy bits of wood to the beach.


the same bastards who kicked us off the beach refused to allow us to enter with the wood, even though we were merely using them as access to get to the legitimate beach. cue horror music and we were off seeking another way down.

now the reason they call the place "cliff beach" is that it's a beach, bordered by cliffs.
with our destination on the beach, and us on the cliffs.
when we eventually found a "path", after having squashed strained pleading to simply give up and set the parking lot alight, we discovered that it was too treacherous to chance.

we are all soldiers, after all.

so spot, our resident non-soldier, trail-blazed up from the beach, called us all a bunch of rather offensive names, and coerced the rest into action. i gotta admit, i am SUPER proud of myself for managing barefoot - not only could we barely see, but the transitions from soft, sliding sand to bastard sharp rock made things masochistically interesting.

oh, right. and nobody had bothered to remove the nails from the planks, which added a little bit of sharpness to the situation.

so eventually we all made it down, and proceeded to enjoy spot's burnt offerings (just kidding, the food was great), spot's grand bonfire, and a generally fun evening with my old section.

there was a small sound rig set up a couple of hundred metres from us, and it turned out that spot and i weren't the only ones there with a taste for good trance :D

i s'pose the only negatives (and one half negative, the last one) from the night were spilled beer (all over my bag), really filthy feet (and therefore socks and shoes afterwards, and we'd *just* cleaned the apartment), the bags of spoiled food i just discovered in the kitchen, and a lack of sleep caused by arriving home around 4am with the kid calling dibs on the shower.


i woke up half an hour later than i was supposed to, but still made it to the city officer on time. it's possibly the last time i'll be going there ^_^

i had to come past our apartment to get to the government's agent for immigration assistance, and ran into the kid at the bus stop; turns out my knocking loudly on his door before i left wasn't out of place :P

i found the new place without too much difficulty, and the woman there kept me confused for most of the 45 minutes that i was there. at least everything was sorted out by the time i left, and i decided to walk through my original primary base to get to the buses.

i sought out my old commander, the complete cow* that almost caused me problems in the end and had already fucked over nystire, because i'm just that sort of person. i ran into one of spot's old buddies who used to serve next to us, had a really amusing conversation with him, and then she rocked up totally surprised to see me.

i guess i would be, too :P
the thing that got to me was the last thing she said to me was "if you need anything, give me a call," and while responding all i could think of was just how much she didn't help me when i was under her command.

but who knows? i may actually need her one day, and i'd rather we weren't on unfriendly terms.

i got myself a snack and walked off the base through crowds of M.P.s, all looking for victims. i ain't no victim. i'm especially glad that i remembered, just as i walked into the central bus station, to remove my headphones - as i did so i turned the corner into another bunch of them - great timing!

i haven't mentioned yet that the combination of bonfire night and two days' dust storm made today unbelievably unpleasant. i was extremely glad of the air-conditioning when i finally rocked up to work. i would've signed in immediately if nystire hadn't thoughtfully disconnected my keyboard. if he does something like that again he'll be reconnecting it himself with his teeth - the mess of cables behind my pc was a bitch to work through.

i'd arrived in time for lunch, and the lunchtime conversation revolved around arsim. considering where my head's been, i managed to switch it over to obscure piercings (specifically discussing the snake-shaft thing i linked to the other day), which was far more entertaining.

aside from passing out a couple of times (did i mention that i was wasted the whole day?), i had a fun working day, and as a result left a tad later than usual.

today's apparently international no-diet day, and walking past the rabin square some not-too-pretty woman jumped out at me and saluted in an overly-friendly way. i friggin' LIKE my personal space, thank you very much. i refused the chocolate (never accept candy from strangers, kids!) but begrudgingly agreed to get on the "happy" scale.

"international no-diet day celebrates natural beauty" - no, it doesn't. it celebrates ugliness, a lack of ambition, and an allergy to truth.

much like the application i linked to yesterday, this is a treat for people who really need a good, swift kick in the nethers. it tells me that i'm "beautiful", but i shouted at the woman because the hebrew word is feminine. i was just mucking about, but at least i got to smile when this got them to let me go on my otherwise happy way.

i don't NEED some stranger to tell me i'm wonderful, i've got a large enough ego to put narcissis to shame; i KNOW i'm wonderful, dammit!

so spot was waking up when i walked in - fucker. at least (with some helpful encouragement) he made coffee, and now that i've gotten this post sorted out (i began it while waiting for the kid to finish showering) i'm going to shower off this ickiness and get to bed.

* okay, that's not exactly true. she's actually a really nice girl, slightly incompetent. the real problem is that she's got a terrible attitude which involves protecting her own ass first.

fortunately for me, i happen to know that my mirror image isn't *nearly* as attractive as the real thing.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

i am twitch's subconscious mind

it's like my character in fallout 2 was having a bad dream. i got to a town, and got stuck at some point with a severe lack of dialogue options. so i opened fire. i began shooting everyone in sight, until i'd wiped out the entire town's population.

and they say there's a lot of violence in video games.

every shot tore the target in half, and i walked through the town firing, taking three steps, and firing again. i was the wind of death. at some point i realized that i was simply wasting my time, and began to get irritated with myself (just one more turn!) until i closed the game, discarding the gratuitous violence and gore and letting my otherwise good-natured character forget the whole thing had ever happened.

it's an interesting form of stress relief - they should make it mandatory in big corporations and government agencies.

... back to reality ...

so i lay down with hyperion, but the story was so good that i didn't get to sleep until 10pm, after setting my alarm to wake me around midnight.

the mongoose called around 1.45am, and i realized that spot was home and that i'd missed my alarm repeatedly. apparently spot had tried to wake me up - he's known me for six years, and i've explained repeatedly that if i'm not sitting up, i'm talking in my sleep. so i got up, annoyed at our tardiness in getting to the meimad.

the walk there got my head together, and it was an AWESOME party. just brilliant. good music the whole night, some fantastic girls... okay, one in particular that gave me a headache: she's a friend of mine's ex, and he was there thrashing with us. at some point i pushed her over to him and apologized for not being able to stop staring; this resulted in an amusing discussion of the amount of "inbreeding" within the alternative scene (she's now dating another friend of his), and a request from her to smack him :P

again: tool - vicarious on a REAL sound system is simply mind-blowing. a must-have experience >D

so we walked out of there around 6am, i guess, with the world muted and full of silliness. spot, ta2 and i went to a great place on ibn gvirol that i've been walking past and never gone into since i dated lake, and although it was expensive it was a fantastic breakfast.

i crashed wonderfully when i got home, and woke up about half an hour earlier than intended. the neighbours have organized a massive sound system for what seems to be a celebration, and they started off testing it out with solid psy-trance. i went out for a smoke, and was planning on lending them one of the discs i bought in south africa, but they'd already moved on to crappy music so i used the same disc to cover it up :)

we've just finished cleaning, and re-arranging (pretty!), and soon we're off for the jewish version of bonfire night with my previous section - i couldn't join them last year, but this should be a lot of fun.

ten worst spiderman tie-ins
EVIL news, screwing up net radio
will ferrel's funny site
i have a better idea - software that reminds people subconsciously of just how worthless they are if they need this shit.
damned if you do, damned if you don't

the entrance to our apartment
our new lounge set-up: heck, it looks like we actually live here now ^_^

Friday, May 04, 2007

online influence

so noddie popped up on messenger this morning, here's my greeting:
During the entire healing period, the jewelry should remain in place to act as a drain. If the jewelry is too large to allow adequate drainage, it could be replaced with a smaller size by a piercing professional. Removing your jewelry prematurely can cause an infected hole to close up, trapping an infection and leading to complications requiring a medical professional. If you feel that the normal secretion is turning into a thicker and darker discharge, please do not hesitate to contact your physician for more advanced treatment (e.g., antibiotics).
- tribalectic's Prince Albert (PA) Body Piercing Aftercare Information
his response was "so how'd it go?", to which this gem popped to mind:
i'm trying to imagine walking into a tattoo parlour, dropping my pants and having someone stick a needle through my junk

junk: a word i would never have thought of using if i didn't read so many webcomics :P

back to reality: i got up around 11am, fought with the guys for an hour about getting up, and was joined by the kid to go back to the cute coffee shoppe nearby. i ended up sitting perfectly positioned between super-cute girls and the counter (so lots of amusing interaction while passing their orders over) :)

the muesli was awesome, after which we went and did some shopping. i hopped on my blades to draw some cash, and realized just how much dust remains in the air from yesterday. spot and i went hardware shopping, and now that that's all done it's time to waste the afternoon sealed up in an air-conditioned apartment ^_^

the question of whether i'll spend it reading, napping, playing fallout 2 or coding is the big one for the day.

renewed hope

<rant>spot and i were discussing writing a multi-player game using a serious shell script earlier, and he just suggested that i check out source code for the game online. he can't figure out what i find so offensive about not writing the damn code myself.</rant>

so i napped until 00.30, and then we took a minibus-taxi through to allenby. we began walking towards the cocktail room, when spot suddenly remembered that there's a girl who lives around there that he wanted to get in touch with, so he disappeared and the kid and i continued.

it was practically empty, and we enjoyed a nice, chilled and pretty much private evening drinking and talking. wr introduced me to the girl who works there - if she wasn't engaged my life would be even richer for the encounter :P

we began comparing tattoos, which resulted in a piercing conversation that got pretty detailed - enough that i'm now seriously considering a prince albert. that wasn't the only thing that i got out of the conversation though, and we kept chatting ... at least it's good to know that girls like that do exist, now i just need to find my own. or hope that she breaks off the engagement >D

the kid and i joined ta2 and wr at a gay restaurant in the area - really nice place, good food, and we were only hit on once by some weird french guy. then we got a ride home.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

reading the **** act

today's wake-up was far easier, and everything went smoothly in spite of the aweful dust storm that hit during the night and still hasn't entirely gone away. when it's bad enough that we feel the need to wear gas masks, we probably shouldn't have to leave closed and air-conditioned spaces.

it was a fairly good day, i got through a lot of stuff and socially it was interesting. some negatively interesting: some guy sent me a message that felt suspiciously like he was hitting on me. i really don't feel like complaining about sexual harrassment.

i stopped off at the bank on the way home, and got a bunch of things sorted out, then hopped a couple of buses home. the streets in our area were crazy, filled with people headed to protest. i didn't have a clue what was happening, so after changing into civvies i made my way there.

great music, fantastic girls all over the place, but as i got near the middle of things i registered what it was all about, and it was extremely politically charged.

i'm not allowed to be involved, regardless of my opinion.

so that sucked, i had to leave the eye-candy and return home to sit online. spot arrived, we attempted drilling to put up the posters we bought, but the battery wasn't charged enough, so we went out to cafeneto to drink iced-coffee and ogle the passers-by instead.

now i'm back to nap for an hour or two; ta2 coerced me into agreeing to go to the cocktail room tonight. i think we might let the kid bring his wallet and cellphone this time :P

nystire's trawling
stupid bastards
nope, no irony here! [moonflake - this one's for you :)]
nasa being cute?
good response, and funny comments

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

it was all in your head

you're standing with your back to the street, you turn around just in time to see a dead-sexy girl dressed as fox-like as can be who's just walked past. you rush after her, thinking to get her number (a spur of the moment thing), and as you reach her you say "excuse me!"

she turns around. "yes?"
you're caught off guard: "umm... did you hit every branch on the way down?!"
"umm, nevermind."

and you briskly walk off, being extremely grateful that she doesn't speak english.

i can't get rid of it

click image to enlarge with colour

i cannot bring myself to delete the email, and i can't open it either.

again i was exhausted this morning, and i don't know why. and i don't feel sick, just tired... *confused*

more voodoo struggling today. i spent a lot of time on some manual labour, only to discover that it was all for nought. at least i learned a bunch of neat things from it. and my commander was impressed enough with the script from yesterday.

although when i informed him that i was interested in an upcoming program, he laughed and told me to get in line. isn't my commander supposed to be looking out for me?

just before leaving, i received authorization to invite a couple of friends to visit my base... so i'm inviting my previous commanders :D [what? it's like family! (unlike my current crew - *boo hoo*)]

when i got home, spot helped me do some experimenting with the spraypaint i bought on the weekend - the silver came out alright, but the black is bloody aweful. it's got a radius of about 7cm, and i was hoping to use it as an outline. so i had to go off to buy acrylic paint and a brush.

this is going to be interesting.

spot came with me, and we had a decent supper and then sat for coffee at the place we discovered on friday. it was disappointing. on the way back, some cute girl was staring at me as we walked by, and a few paces after we passed her i stumbled on a raised flagstone. she laughed. instead of carrying on and ignoring her, i think i should have stopped and flashed a grin. i can't believe i'm still thinking about this.

i was going to play fallout, but it's late and i've only just caught up on the 'net browsing. here's where i've been:

moonflake linked to nice stuff - i didn't get very far though. i was too busy with qc
10 zen monkeys again
say no to CPR

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

i don't like voodoo!

[*HINT* click on the link above! *HINT*]

[the link below is merely amusing]
a little not-quite-voodoo history

i have no idea why i struggled to get up this morning; i'd slept enough hours, i was excited about getting to work, and for some reason i was so drained that i'm still confused about parts of my shamble to the bus.

as much fun as today was, and as much as i learned (and enjoyed learning, including a scripting kick-in-the-butt from nystire [thank you, nystire]), i'm extremely unhappy about the 50/50 attitude that pervades our office.

"it doesn't work? oh, well. your code might be fine. just play with it a little."

at least playing is enjoyable.

once i got home, i put on my blades and launched myself through the park (twice) before i sat down on a bench overlooking the yarkon and an absolutely breathtaking sunset* (like you see in artist's renditions of sunsets that qualify as "pretty darn impressive"), replete with happy children and small, wooden boats, and opened a book (hyperion) and just chilled for a while.

until i cooled off, at least. i warmed up on the way to the ice-cream parlour, ordered a supreme combination of pavlova and bitter chocolate, and then continued reading on the bench outside my apartment.

all-in-all, i'd say it was a good day. now it's time for bed (early, but i'm not taking chances after last night).

* i was concerned that i didn't have a camera with me, but then i realized that a photo wasn't going to do it any justice anyway. it always bothers me that a great photo is only really great if you took it and you remember how you felt at the time.

never learn from south africans


   as i posted this morning, while waiting for some water to heat up (it didn't, and i thought it was bad enough that i'd had to have a cold shower last night) and discovering that our hot-water cylinder was still set to DST (so it was an hour late for everyone), it took me ages to get my eyes open and my brain functioning.

but it was totally worth it when they did.

a) pranked
   although i've figured out a great plan for revenge, it was irritating walking into my office this morning to discover that all my keys had been stolen, with "OH DARN" remaining in the center of the keyboard. i eventually had to kidnap the guy's monkey (plush doll) in order to get them back, and then had to sit there (like a monkey) replacing them one by one.

although i managed to touch-type in both english and hebrew, that's gotta count for something :)

b) did
   today was a breath of fresh air for me, and i thoroughly enjoyed actually Doing StuffTM

   when i got back home, i changed and took a walk around tel aviv. when i got back i was sucked back into fallout 2.

   all good. i suppose i'm just happy, and i'm beginning to get some sense of space back to think about all sorts of things that aren't relevant and don't belong in the need category of the right here and now.