Saturday, September 30, 2006

friday on base

i walked to the balcony, met up with the mongoose and his girlfriend, and we had a fun evening. aside from discovering that *both* the bartenders have boyfriends, and being seriously undecided about the appearance of a girl who appeared to be making eyes at me (it was dark. i'm not taking any chances). they gave me a ride back to ramat gan, the most irrelevant place in the country, around 3am, and i went straight to sleep.

i woke up in time to go have lunch on base. that's kinda sad. songbird's guarding, so i spent lots of the day keeping her company. erm - abusing her company, i really need help with the book i'm reading :$
oh, and playing some gta2.

i did laundry, and then put the laundry in the tumbledryer. lordy lord, i feels RICH o_O

i had dinner on base as well, and around midnight took a taxi most of the way to the zamir. i only discovered this morning that the israeli equivalent of minibus taxis operate around the clock on the weekend... bummer. but whatever, i arrived on time for a friggin' AWESOME, AWESOME party.

i was completely broken by 5am, having had too much to drink and having jumped up and down the entire night... i think the bartender likes me. i asked him for a coke, and i got a complementary shooter :B (i can't control the urge to double-tongue!)

wr and i joined ta2 and one of the door managers went for breakfast. when i got my coffee, and then wr got his chocachino with cream - the waitress took note of my expression (didn't say a word! or, at least not to her...), and came back a minute later with a bowl of cream for me.





i've mentioned ta2 driving around with cat food. we're getting in the car, when he spots a stray cat. out comes the cat food, five little piles, and then suddenly 6 cats appear out from a hole in the wall. extremely cute :)

wr and i got dropped off at azrieli, then walked a bit before taking the minibus taxi. i got home around 8am, had a shower, and slept until 7pm. i woke up to 3 / 4 episodes of friends, and am shocked at how long it's been since i vegged in front of the telly. and how quickly i found my groove ;)

my host made some meaty / noodly goodness, which made a good breakfast, and now that i've done the dishes - until i couldn't take the kitty litter smell anymore, at least - i'm off to the lizard.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


moonflake's mid-week cuckoo is pretty cool :B (:P bifurcated)

i didn't go past the base last night. instead i walked in on two cats fighting (a stray found its way in), and i couldn't find the food when the cared-for cat was mewling bloody murder for it.

i slept alright, i guess. i don't really want to be there, even if it's not a bad setup. i *barely* made inspection on time this morning, in spite of the proximity to my doorstep.

it was a long day, split by a traipse (well, a really short car trip) for lunch. mini-me needs a serious attitude adjustment... he doesn't *get* that he's a soldier, not a human being.

so the day eventually passed by, and i arrived at work, only to leave a short while later to go and check out another apartment with the kid. just from its position alone i was jumping up and down - it's right slap-bang in the middle of tel aviv. *exactly* what i'm looking for.

beautiful apartment... great landlord... decent price... but. there's only one shower, and it's -inside- one of the bedrooms. so no dice. that upsets me no end.

i've spent the last couple of hours editing html - not something i ever wanted to do again :S

but hey! it's home time! or balcony time! or something time! and i'm off!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

what a night what a day

on my way home last night, around midnight, i took a detour and entered my base. awesome jeep sitting there, can't figure out what it's doing on a base that's completely disconnected from the real army.

i did some work - i got more done in 10 minutes of quiet time than in 3 regular days :S

i stopped past some cute girls guarding the armoury, then left around 1am to go shower and fall into bed. it was much easier to sleep.

i woke up a little later this morning, still made it to base early, and we had a busy, busy day. aside from taking a couple hours off to go to the shooting range - i got a decent score: i killed 9 terrorists! yay!

we finally finished getting ready for our next version release, and have begun with the QA testing. sucks. it sucks in hebrew, especially.

from the base, the kid and i met up with nystire at my office, i signed in, and we flew off to check out an absolutely STUNNING apartment in northern tel aviv. i'm totally in. and ready to be disappointed when we lose it because we're going to take to long to get sorted out. then i'm going to cry.

i got tons of work done (taking a short break to scarf down a much-needed burger), and have just had a long chat with the boss. the next few months are looking good, but it's possible that someone's about to lose his job because of me :(

business is business.

going "home"!

thanks to zenstar with brightening my day. or, at least, filling it with dead babies.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

non-technical PGP

last night i left work, and took the bus to my new "home". buggrit, i got off a stop too early - force of habit, it's the usual stop for getting to the base. then i took a wrong turn, out of sheer curiosity, and that detour cost me fifteen minutes for a geographically educational side-trek.

i got in just after midnight, talked with my host for a short while, tidied up my room enough that i didn't have to trip over anything to get to the bed. i had a shower - (decent shower!), brushed my teeth, and went to bed (comfortable bed!) after turning the airconditioner off (once i got to a comfortable 20o! - no, wait... there's an airconditioner in the room!).

i didn't sleep a bloody wink the entire night. i've gotten so used to the lack of privacy that glass doors onto the street level provide, that i guess four solid walls and a window onto a garden wall make me kinda uncomfortable. my previous temporary apartment has turned me into even more of an exhibitionist :S

i got up around 7am, got half-dressed (weird not being able to walk around in my boxers), played with the insanely cute kitty-cat ("socks", beautiful grey super-friendly cat), brushed my teeth, shaved (okay, not the most comfortable basin arrangement), dressed and slowly walked to the base.

i got to base around 7.45, ran into mini-me on the way up to my office, and then went with him to start the day with coffee. what a strange start to the day!

i got permission to leave the base to sort things out, and got a ride to my original base. i'm most impressed with myself: i remembered the exact office location of a place i last visited 2 years ago during my first form hike. go me!

i paid a visit to my commander's office (not there, as usual), then left the base and took a bus to the bank. they sorted everything out within minutes, and my insidious landlords now have no access to my bank account. i then took a bus to the induction base, and met up with the kid and mini-me to pay a visit to our client section. we said goodbye to our contact there, which was actually rather sad. his replacement is a complete tosser.

our previous TL's girlfriend's replacement is seriously cute. i think i'm going to have to get to know her better, maybe follow in his footsteps :P (but only in this, in nothing else, ever, in any way)

we all bussed back to our base, and got busy. i did quite a bit of frustrating work. eventually the army day came to a close, and i made my way to work.

we've set up a far more serious and professional development environment, shared workspaces and so on, and the "lead" and i wrote some useful scripts to deal with new releases from our provider. that was all quite fun.

i've just runs tests on our primary app from way back when i was new to the company... and, for the most part, it works! it works well! i cannot express the surprise and joy this brings!


i just discovered that the bit that doesn't work in the "for the most part" above is my own fault. *sob*
i didn't notice a data item was missing when i checked over the specification. i suck.

THIS took forever to buffer. but it was bloody well worth it. do it! do it now!!

bash quotes (courtesy of nystire, i'm beginning to think it's all he does):
1, 2, 3

Monday, September 25, 2006

happier already

i just had quite a long chat with my mum, and to summarize:

all good on the holiday front (no shit :P) - the tent from last year is fine and ready. it looks like she'll have moved to the new apartment by the time i get there. i'm getting there on a friday night, so it looks like it'll be even more insane than last year's (i was trying to play it cool, and even that didn't work so well).

i told my mom that this year she's not to throw ice over the balcony. apparently it won't be possible from the new place. safer ;)

my family's really amusing: k-twang brought his very not-jewish girlfriend to the new year's dinners
^_^ good on yer'! (and i heard only good things about her, so it's not just him)

the air force transfer solves all my problems in one go, gives meaning to the six years of hell i've gone through, and makes my mommy proud. w00t!

so anyway, the conversation made me feel much better. i'm kinda stuck as far as work is concerned, so i reckon i'm off "home" soon. tomorrow, aside from tons o' work, we're gonna have to find some kind of a solution to the housing problem... but find one we will!

aggravated to death?

well. today is an interesting one.

it started off with having slept enough. but waking up feeling the depression as "nooooo! i don't waaaaannaaaa!" :(
anyway, i packed up, got dressed, shaved, brushed teeth, got my first cup of coffee, and made the bus.

first off, i went to visit the offices of a guy who borrowed 1984 from me ages ago, and got it back. it's funny how we're serving on a tiny base, and there's an entire half that not only am i not familiar with, but it actually looks and feels like an army base.

i got to my office in time for some really good chocolate. i dunno where it came from. i hit the work immediately, and accidentally came across something weird. apparently, i've already been registered for a "kitzur shirut", or service shortening, of 45 days. unfortunately, i know it's not valid... but it would be so nice to finish my mandatory service a month and a half earlier. waaaaaaaaa!! such a tease!

both my commanders were out today, and our welfare officer as well. at some point in the morning, i got a call from the contractor informing me that i absolutely had to be out of the apartment before tomorrow. bastards. evil c***s. so i hurriedly began making arrangements, and at lunch-time our team (the kid and mini-me joined me) went to my place, and met there with the movers. i had to pay out of my ass for that. NIS 400 (upwards of R700). that hurt.

the move itself was a bitch, as they all are. specifically my fault for forgetting the key to the storage room, but the contractor made one on the spot with another, incompatible key and a pair of cutters. that was seriously impressive.

moving into the new room - disappointing. there isn't enough space. it's a bloody oven in there, and completely squished. i dunno how i'm going to deal with it this evening.

we returned to base, did about an hour's work, and then wasted two hours on a mission to rescue my abandoned pc's. after the long waiting period for the bus (apparently we'd missed the previous one by 5 minutes, and the next came 45 minutes later), and then the heavy haul to the sidewalk, we couldn't find a taxi driver who'd agree to help us transport them.


i dunno. all we needed was a vehicle. we were willing to pay. i fail to understand what's wrong with the equation.

so we returned (another mission) the pc's to storage (poor babies), and bussed through to azrieli.

we have a huge problem with finding an apartment - too many people who need one. there's nystire, the kid, myself (obviously), the girl from our team, and spot. it's already a given that the ideal matchup is our team, but we can't leave the other two in the lurch. i have no clue how we're going to handle this. it's gonna be hard to find a large apartment anyway.

i bussed to work, and my pupil here had to be shown a few tricks. he got my attention quite well: he accidentally deleted our debug database. whoops. so i explained to him that from now on he's going to make a point of reading warning messages. at least the "lead" managed to get the tunneling working - i certainly couldn't figure it out.

i don't know how well i'm coping with the shock and horror of the day. i don't know how i'll cope until the new apartment is sorted out. all i know is that there's pressure on all sides, and it's beginning to upset me.

the kid made an interesting observation earlier: "dude, you're never depressed, just pissed-off all the time. i wish i could be like that, i just get depressed."
until something managed to piss me off today, i was totally apathetic to the world. i thank all the gods that i have no patience and a very short temper.

oh lord
hey! that's one of mine!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

my nightmare before christmas

supper last night was grand. stuffed myself again, to the point where it was hard to breathe. good times, good times.

i went straight to the lizard last night... the power of advertising is frightening. the place was packed solid. i refer to my usual complaint about flirting with women... i'm farkin' useless. i enjoyed myself most of the night, but for the last hour before i got a ride home, i was feeling a bit miff. maybe i'd had a bit too much to drink, but the combination of odd music that i couldn't relate to, and the frustration apropos the girls...

ta2 and i came to an agreement: all the hot girls who keep hitting on him will be redirected to me, and all the guys (okay, i'll have to bite the bullet and make appearance judgements) who hit on me will be redirected to him. it just might work :P

i suggested that he come check out cape town, but in retrospect it wouldn't be a good idea to come with me. it wouldn't be as much fun for him - i'm not planning on doing touristy things, and it wouldn't be as much fun for me - i don't wanna feel under any obligations, and i plan on doing some boring stuff. i guess the mongoose taught me a few lessons last year.

bloody hysterical - some drunk guy tried to swing down from the wall above the steps at the lizard... hung in the air for a second... and then fell flat on his back (from about 10ft). the few moments before checking if he was alright were spent laughing hysterically, the mongoose trying unsuccessfully to hide it :P

before going to bed, i continued reading this book in hebrew that i've been slowly struggling through. and this morning, i wasn't struggling! there are plenty of words that i'm missing here and there, but it's such a fantastically good read that it doesn't matter. i'm thoroughly enjoying it ^_^

i spent the entire day sleeping. i woke up all groggy, strangely alright physically after having slept with my head at a right-angle to my body. the hardest thing for me since discovering that i have a slipped-disc has been sleeping with my spine aligned, and usually if i sleep on my stomache even for a short while, i can barely move when i get up. so i'm all good. strange, disturbing dreams aside.

i read a bit more, and then took a walk to the bus stop. i got a pastry on the way - aside from the guy having a cigarette in his mouth while organizing it (i'm a smoker, and even for me that's dodgy), he managed to give me the wrong one. i was so inside-out, though, that i only noticed on the second-to-last bite.

i took a bus to work, and have been messing about with free hosting (the title image and my profile picture), and listening to good music. i must be honest, i'm depressed, or at least unwilling on a subconscious level to deal with the things i'm going to be dealing with during the next few days. it makes it hard to function, and i'm trying to keep in mind that very soon, everything's going to be better:

1) the air force transfer (but that's only going to improve my situation in another half a year)
2) holiday in sa
3) living in the city centre

things'll still be a bitch until my official release date... handling two jobs, both with plenty of responsibility and pressure, is not and won't be easy. assuming i survive it, though, it'll all have been worth it.

stsm is improving!
it's getting funny!


Saturday, September 23, 2006

human ashtray

ok. i smoke too much. WAY too much. at least i know that when i reach the end of my mandatory service, i won't be pulling fifteen-hour workdays, and i'll have enough cash to return to training. and then i can quit. again.

note to self: when completely wiped out, do not attempt a glass of glennfiddich on top of a whiskey shooter. regardless, the sea-food risotto (spleling?) was superb.

after zinc, organizer dropped me off at home, and i crashed until 11am. i called kc's father, who asked "do you want a lift with us?".
i hadn't woken up properly, and i heard "do you want to live with us?". the conversation that ensued was a bit awkward :P

i then took a bus to base, picked up my bag with my nice clothes (*slaps forehead* - i can't believe i left it in my office), and a note on my desk that my commander left me. it's a really sweet note, difficult as it was to figure it out (good hebrew in squiggly handwriting, it's, like, heavily encrypted).

when i got back to my area, i bought some nice gifts, and then returned "home" to snore another couple of hours.

i took a taxi to the ayalon, and after half an hour my cousins picked me up. supper was fantastic, but breaking the transfer news to my family wasn't as shock-inspiring as i'd anticipated. at least they approve :)

i slept most of today, took a long walk here just to arb online (oops, i actually got a bit of work done - by accident, i swear!). now i'm heading back, to get ready for another huge dinner.

oh - i tried to move to wordpress again. the importer sucks ASS, so i won't be thinking about it again until somebody convinces me that it's worth wasting a nick - once you delete, you can't reclaim. f*ckers.

grow some spine!
zomg so jealous!
no more suicides over "oops"
cap'n torvalds
erm. sorry?
salvage stations
pray this doesn't happen in sa...
an idea with potential

Thursday, September 21, 2006

scrambled eggs

my brain. my brain. urgh. i just can't get all this crap outta my head. it's definitely time for food (zinc), drinks, and some sleep.

an honourables talking of
this is just obscure.

gimme cookie!

yeah... and i'm dying for a cookie. sorry orangutans, i come first. period. (is this true? sounds like a load of bollocks to me.)

anyway, i'm going to keep the reason for my cookie-deserving status for the end of this post. last night, i got home to discover that they didn't move my desk (sod it), and they managed to return my washing machine... in two pieces. i have some leverage now :@ (did i need more?!)

i slept on my bed, which was a definite improvement. in the morning, i collected my laundry... so i have clothes again. another improvement.

[moved to the end of the post]

i arrived on base around 2pm, had a girly salad for lunch, and learned about the kid's situation. not so good, but he's now able to join us in our hunt for an apartment. the more the merrier :P

the afternoon was spent sorting things out, planning, and wishing everyone a happy new year. i had a long chat with the girl i posted about last night, and i told her that if everything goes well for us with the apartment hunting, and she isn't sorted out by then, she's welcome to join us.

the bus to work was PACKED. solidly. made for an interesting journey :S

i just had a heart-to-heart with the boss, and we went over the workplan. overloaded! but at least i have priorities now. i then had a chat with my SC over the phone. he's such a good guy, i really haven't ceased to be amazed by him.

and i just spoke to spot - who's not impressed by the apartment arrangement thing. it's not his fault that i'm in the mess i'm in... is it? spot, if you'd been ready to move -before- you left... ;)
anyway, necessity dictates.

assuming that nothing too interesting will happen this weekend - *prays* - the week is over, and i'm planning on relaxing and enjoying it. and fuck them.

[cookie deserved for:]

i spent the morning in an introductory course for real-time programming. for the first time ever, i managed to sit through a 3.5 lecture *IN HEBREW*... not only did i understand what was going on, but i didn't lose my cool! and it was bloody interesting
*i'm* really proud of myself, at least >D

happy new year!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

gushy good night

the only thing that bothers me about today is that i didn't get a chance to cancel the standing order at the bank.

i'm leaving work now, and we got interesting things done.

aside from that, i received a phone call from another guy who's offered to help out... it's not as simple a move, so i told him i'd let him know tomorrow. turns out that a girl in my team, who i haven't actually gotten along with very well, was supposed to move in with them. she's been in dire straits apartment-wise for ages, and she's not financially in as good a situation as i am... i told the guy that if she needs it, she's to get first priority.

he laughed. turns out she'd told them to make sure that i'm alright before she moves in with them.

wow. i *am* blown away. i told him that under no circumstances was he to *THINK* about helping me out until she's sorted and settled. end of story. isn't that a feel-good story?

i'm going home now, to shuffle my things inside, shower (run hot water till it gets cool), floss and brush, and sleep. tomorrow's the course, and tomorrow afternoon we'll see about getting me moved.


my worries are reaching critical mass, my brain is on its way to implosion. the last two days have been mostly spent organizing a place to stay. and that's not easy on zero-day notice.

my commanders have been unbelievable. totally supportive. and the bull has once again impressed me no end. he sat me down the second he found out, and made me list every single thing that the south african zionist federation has done to me over the past year. it came out like a horror story, and he sent me off while he called the fed.

he called me back a short while later: i can now leave whenever i like, and i will receive my deposit back, with no penalty for defaulting on the contract.
apparently, having an excellent commander and an army legal team behind you is a serious advantage.

they didn't move my things yesterday - because somebody screwed up and they'd managed to damage the entrance to the new "finished" apartment so badly that it was completely inaccessible.

aside from the traumatic moving stuff, i've been training mini-me. he's not taking the exercises i've given him seriously, and it's beginning to anger me. he's demonstrated that he's capable. but i need him to actually realize the objective, not show me he knows how. he's in for a serious foot up his ass if this continues.

international talk like a pirate day was cancelled due to a total sense of humour failure. every now and again i'd remember, but i just couldn't get my aaaaarrrrrr going.

from the base, i bussed through to work, and yogi took me on his bike to his new pad. incredible ride through rush-hour traffic (my eyes are still stinging happily), and his (and his wife's) new home is fabulous.

i had a shower, dressed nicely, and we went off to the wedding.

great place, and it was fantastic seeing ze germans and the rest of the gang from studies again (and the pregnant friends, wow!). we had a great evening. the ceremony was really nice, the food (aside from disappointingly well-done steak) was good, and i didn't need to drink too much to enjoy myself.

and the music selection was styling. general funk, disco, and 80's. had a blast.


-- potential for a quizzical interlude --

we left the wedding around 1.30am, and yogi dropped me off at "home". i brilliantly managed to leave the hot-water cylinder heating up the entire night, once again. awful.

sms wake-up: i didn't notice until my alarm went off, but from 3.30am till 6 / 7am, i received an sms every few minutes from my server testing application, informing me that no recipients were registered. that's a crazy bug, and deleting all those messages was not a pleasant way to wake up in the morning.

pink floyd and the sneaker pimps calmed me down considerably. i got to base, and a section breakfast was a great start to the working day.

during a round of announcements, my TL stood up and calmly informed everyone in our section about my transfer. he was greeted by silence... everyone was simply shocked. not only because they were impressed, but because it was absolutely the last thing anyone expected from me. i was a bit embarrassed, but i managed to spill out a quick speech (kinda like a super-short acceptance speech, a bit weird).

my brain was split up between actual work, training mini-me, and apartment hunting the entire day. it's like being schizophrenic - every thought is being harassed by the others to get a move on so the next thing can get taken care of. couple that with an absolutely absurd number of lengthy phone calls, and i'm feeling like i've had my head stuck in a microwave all day. every time my phone beeps or begins ringing all i'm thinking is "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!".

at some point, the contractor called me up to inform me that the new apartment is totally ready (bullshit.), and he wanted to know how to proceed. i told him to return my moved belongings to the temporary apartment, because i'm refusing to move until next week. i heard him swearing as he put the phone down.

about an hour later, he called again.
"do you want me to move the washing machine as well?"
"yes. i'd like everything left outside my front door, i'll deal with it when i get home."

before putting the phone down, i heard a long, bitter list of expletives escape him. i'm feeling like a bastard, but fuck them. i can't believe that after all the complaining about israelis that i've been doing all these years (along with all immigrants), all i've been thinking the past few days is "i friggin' HATE south africans!"

obviously i'm referring to an incredibly specific group of people, but it's unbelievable that from now on i'll be doing everything in my power to stay as clear of the community here as is possible.

i went to go look at an apartment i've been offered temporary sanctuary in, and it's absolutely stunning. and right next to the base. now i've been given the choice of going to the real-time programming course tomorrow (that i've been excited about for weeks), or moving into the new pad immediately.

i'm going with the course. i have to. i now have to personally organize civilian movers... bummer. i really don't want to be stuck in the zionist fed's apartments for the weekend. friday night 'til sunday night is the jewish new year, and if they get bitchy then i'm going to have a problem.

nystire arrived on our base around 5pm, and missioned with me to work. sat chatting with the cute coffee-shop girl. spot informed me that she's going into the army soon, so i took her details and i'll pass them around and see if she can be sorted out ;)

until now, i've been clearing my head. now it's time to get to work. i've decided i'm going to the course tomorrow, sod the zionist *spit* fed - they're not going to ruin this for me.

... [short break]

it amazes me how strong the mind is. after such a shitty day, i'm totally amped. why? because i've just been thinking about the fact that in three months and two days, i'm getting on an aeroplane and flying down to sunny south africa. and i'm going to spend two weeks partying and sleeping and chilling and being a human being.

i'm taking this opportunity to apologize in advance to anyone who doesn't get to see me while i'm there. if you're not a part of the solution, then you're a part of the problem. i aim to overdose on fun and craziness, and anyone who's keen to join me is only too welcome*!

* terms and conditions may apply.

Monday, September 18, 2006

weee. i learned php.

<? command($universe) ?>

it's like a stripped, uglified version of c; it's like asp/vbscript; it has enough functions to give it the potency of a rabbit on viagra (erm - bad metaphor... i wasn't intending to suggest its propensity to explode on impact).

hmmm. that was easy. what's next?

weird.. except for this one. that's an i-gotta-own-it if i ever saw one.

bring it ^_^

and lastly, i've now heard of someone who needs to be shot with his own ammunition.

homeless is as homeless does (lives)

wow. wow^n. i am impressed. they've actually managed to drop their level to a new low. i signed for half a day, and i arrived on site around 1pm. after a short struggle with a bunch of morons - i hate it when people who speak worse hebrew than i do try to help me understand others' hebrew - i found the guy i was looking for.

i questioned him, as thoroughly as possible, and he was absolutely confident that my apartment was all ready for me to move in. minus a shower head, a matter of a few minutes at most.

i then interrupted a suit-and-tie meeting (me with my shirt off, displaying my nipple ring) that included the landlord (ponce. scum.), and finally met the contractor. who assured me that everything was going smoooooooooooothly (think invader zim - the nightmare begins), and that i should get packing (literally).

so i did. most people know how much of a mission packing is in general, but when it's last minute then things get messy. and when the intention is to unpack within a few hours, things get more disorganized.

they moved my washing machine, they moved my bed, they moved my desk. i went up to see how things were progressing... and they weren't. some bastard worker had gone against the instructions he'd received, and begun tiling right outside my door. and refused to stop... so i scrambled around his work, and did some prodding.


no electricity.


no water.

erm. so wtf am i supposed to do? i asked the contractor (interrupting his oh-so-sincere apologies) who's ultimately responsible. i'm not sure if it's standard procedure, or the way i asked him, but he refused to divulge that information and promised me he'd do the shouting.

like that'll make me feel good. for all i friggin' know, HE'S the only one to blame. or maybe, as the kid put it, the entity responsible is god, who roused him in the middle of the night - boondock saints style - to tell him that it's time to make totalwaste suffer again.

so what's the new deal? they moved my mattress back. so tonight when i get home, i'm sleeping on the mattress on the floor. then in the morning i have to put more things in storage, and my evening becomes an absolute bloody mess.

well, hopefully not literally - i'm going to a wedding, and if it's anything like the huge event in wishmaster then that's going to suck.

apparently *SMASH* they'll *CRASH* move all my *BANG* things tomorrow, and wednesday, when i get home around midnight, i should be able to assess the damage.

sick and bloody

so i left work around 10, and took a bus to the city officer. i'd forgotten the simple rule that whether you're sick or not when you arrive, you're definitely ill by the time to leave.

i sat there, eyes half-closed, just letting my mind bubble quietly. aside from impatience (it only took an hour to see the medic), i was just sitting bemusedly - and being slightly embarrassed about being the only soldier who'd polished his boots and was wearing a clean uniform.

at some point, a mosquito landed on my hand. demonstrating spectacularly bad timing, i let it get away. which annoyed me. i waited patiently, tracking it with half-closed eyes, and struck almost subsconsciously... i caught it and slammed my hand down on my pants. it's automatic, i swear. the girl next to me burst out laughing when she saw the bloodstain, and i turned around and asked for a tissue :S

sucks when you miss 'em. sucks when you don't.

the medic who saw me didn't understand that i have low blood pressure usually - so it mine was actually relatively high. she sent me off to the doctor anyway, who told me to come back in the morning.

i walked home slowly, chatted with my mom for a bit, got lectured on taking care of myself. i got home, showered, and crashed.

because i didn't get permission to go back in the morning (and you have to have signed authorization), i went straight to base. the kid and i figured out some useful things, mini-me appears to be progressing, and there's a really amusing little battle taking place between myself and songbird. i seem to be winning ;)

just after 12, i took the bus home. there were two aged fools who got on the bus, and refused to sit down (plenty of seats available). it didn't matter that they were being flung this way and that, the bus driver being a complete maniac (almost squished a little old lady with the doors, too). they really weren't handling, and the entire ride they just got in everyone's way. i don't get it.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


well, it's not for free, but i don't have much choice. apparently i'm moving tomorrow afternoon. funnily enough, i've just realized i'm feeling really, really ill. i'm off to the city officer in a bit to get myself checked out :(

last night wasn't anything special, but it was really nice to walk home with an absolutely fantastic collection of music on my mp3 player :)
although i did forget to post the contract *slaps forehead*

today was just another training day. this is a routine i could definitely get used to. my air force transfer is beginning to come out in the open ;)

i had a meeting with an previous flatmate before lunch, that was actually quite fun.

on the bus to work, a really cute girl from our base joined me and the kid. she grabbed my mp3 player, and was most upset to discover that nothing on it was familiar except for comfortably numb, and she doesn't like it. i swear this country's primary radio station is ruining young, impressionable minds :/

i taught a bit more at work :P, and just walked for fprty-five minutes to and back from a coffee shop where our "lead" is having a birthday party. aside from feeling like crap, the bouncer is an idiot, and couldn't tell me anything more than "that's the party"... some huge "do" that looked way to formal to be the right place. and i was thinking that if it was the right function, then i certainly wasn't up for it.

just before returning to our office building (and i'd tried calling him while i was standing there), he sent me an sms explaining exactly where inside they are. which would have been helpful a little closer to the time.

idiots. i don't get what's so hard to understand. war means dead people. you really shouldn't be overly-concerned for the enemy... because they don't give a damn about you. winning hearts and minds? puh-lease. it's all about crushing spirits and getting the f*ckers to shut their mouths and not even *think* about retaliating. or did i learn the wrong definition of "war"??

the 25 worst websites? i just love #1...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

slight modification to my post

until just before arriving to work, my post was going to look like this:
hard partying. good sleeping.

but now that that's no longer the case, i figure i may as well put down some more details.

last night, i left work at 9pm, and took a slow walk around the block. i stopped at aroma for a roast-beef sammich... i have got to stop spending so much cash on food :S

i went past the lizard, and sat chatting with the mongoose and wr for a while, before eventually taking a loooooong walk to the zamir (i took a stupid turn - the roads are so bloody screwy in tel aviv).

the party was celebrating fourteen years of the alternative line, and it was brilliant. great music almost the entire night (one of the dj's got a little carried away with brit-pop at one stage), and it was all very sweaty and loud, and there were some fine, extremely talented young ladies.

ta2 gave me and wr a ride home (the mongoose didn't come... he went somewhere else with his girlfriend. the fool.) as is becoming the norm, and i slept about twelve hours. i woke up, and made my way to work.

i stopped in at the kiosk to organize myself some coffee. i managed to spill the entire cup all over the counter. they were pissed. "what, are you drunk?!"

"no. i just haven't had my first cup of coffee yet."

i just had a cigarette with the foxy girl here... we had one of those moments of silence. not awkward... not awkward because i understand that it's YOU who makes it awkward, not the silence itself. but when two people really can't think of anything to say, it's a bit of a bummer.

moonflake's midweek cuckoo is hysterical. follow the link to the posts regarding his application, and see my comment at the end for my thoughts on the matter.

someone with an invalid blogger login (???) posted a comment, and the post he commented on (midway through 2005) makes me smile to think that somebody other than myself is enjoying going through my journal :D

in response to his question - i don't know. something to do with high levels of adrenaline not being good for getting good quality sleep. better safe than sorry, either way.

now to transfer all my legal (yay!) mp3's to my player, and to get my ass over to the lizard for a drink, before the week begins. maybe i'll finally sign and deliver my contract when i get home.

Friday, September 15, 2006

grimy and sleazy

the way it should be ;)

last night, i left work and walked to the balcony. i talked to the two cute bartenders (although the new one, sadly, has an SO), and i cannot express in words just how happy i was. am. this week was just absolutely fantastic!! the whole idea of the air force transfer taking place, my replacement finally arriving...

it's like after all the time i've been sucking from the rotten teat of a dead nurse, somebody's showing mercy and is inviting me into the kitchen for a glass of warm, frothy hot chocolate and cookies.

spot joined me after a while, and then left for the airport. with instructions to organize me an ipod from the duty free. more on that later :/

wr arrived soon afterwards, and i then had that "one too many". or was it two? it took a couple of hours of monty python quotes and general silliness for me to be able to focus again. by that stage, the party had shut down, so the two of us went with ta2. to be fair, i was under the impression that we were simply getting a ride home...

but no. not even a little. we went downtown, and entered a club that was extracted from the mind's eye of a goth/cyberpunk junkie. crazy music, sharp metal teeth, and all the huge, bearded, long-haired biker-types moshing and headbanging and playing their air-guitars, (some good looking) wimmen dressed both formal and extremely not-formal (unless standing on a street corner in the year 2020 is formal by that time) doing their spindly thing, grime and sleaze in every corner and being radiated by the walls themselves.

we went upstairs, where the music was higher-energy but not as deep, and sat there chatting with some strange strangers. well, not any more, i guess :P

anyway, it's a place that really is exactly as it should be. i don't know if i'm more impressed that it exists (and isn't too far from my place), or if i'm more disappointed (six years i've been here. six years. never heard of the place).

a short while after we got there, the music pulverizing my ears and my neck begin to loosen up from all the vibration, spot called to squick me over which ipod to organize. the options weren't great, so i picked the 60GB... i don't even know for how much. whatever.

just before leaving, i discovered that spot, in his infinite wisdom, had sent me an sms (when he *knew* where i was, we'd talked) giving me an even better option, and had left by the time i'd received it. schmuck. the only issue i have is that i'm looking at the prices online, and it looks like duty-free is more expensive... that's not good :S

when i got home i was wasted after a totally full day. i almost went straight to bed, but i managed to force myself to have a shower, and floss, because hey, that one day can make a difference. and making your bed smell of smoke, sweat and sleaze doesn't help anyone.

i woke up about six hours later, and took a cab to azrieli. i finally bought a perfect circle - thirteenth step, got me all excited. while standing in the line to pay, cbg walked in. pretty easily recognizable, but not my type as far as looks go. other than that, really cool chick. i had a good breakfast, good coffee, and then we said goodbye and i made my way to work.

i spent my afternoon doing some serious browsing. well, at least that's what i did after finally sorting out my new album. all i wanted to do was listen to a perfect circle - pet, but i inserted the disc and windows asked me if i wanted to install some software.

fuck no.

without installing the software, i can't listen to the disc... that's just screwed up. i just paid for the damned thing. not cool. i do a basic search, but i only came up with a method of copying it: i don't have a burner, i don't wanna, and i'm certainly not interested in installing more software on my workstation (which is what started this whole thing in the first place).

i began whining to nystire, hoping to find him familiar with the problem. after much debate over what exactly i wanted to do - no nystire, i don't want to rip to ogg vorbis :P - he provided me with a forum link. what was that about ockham's razor? i scanned the posts, and found a frighteningly simple solution: hold down the shift key while inserting the cd. i kept it down for a short while, then used media player to rip to wma, and now i can listen on my player.

and fuck them. bastards.

there are so many links that i wanted to post from the crypto-gram newsletter (and the articles are good, too), that sod it: go through them yourself.
as one commentator put it: "imagine a cop pulls you over for speeding. as he approaches, you realize you left your wallet at home. without your driver's license, you could be in a lot of trouble. when he approaches, you roll down your window and shout. "hello officer! i don't have insurance on this vehicle! this car is stolen! i have weed in my glovebox! i don't have my driver's license! i just hit an old lady minutes ago! i've been running stop lights all morning! i have a dead body in my trunk! this car doesn't pass the emissions tests! i'm not allowed to drive because i am under house arrest! my gas tank runs on the blood of children!" you stop to catch a breath, confident you have supplied so much information to the cop that you can't possibly be caught for not having your license now." [from one of the articles]
the two exceptions follow because i laughed so hard that i cried:
the turnpike prank (4 pages)
the all-natural test (also 4, i think)

serbians witchdoctors have weird cures
conventional greeting
i agree with scott mccloud completely
reasons not to donate blood.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


[~]# image > /dev/null

last night i went to the lizard after work, and spent some time with the mongoose and his SO. it was a lot of fun, but i had to leave early. i took a taxi home, and slept *just* enough to make it on time for inspection.

which, again, they'd cancelled without warning. great stuff :S

so we made do with an unhealthy mess hall breakfast ('cause we were on time), and then began the day. the day was packed with work and missioning, i don't really remember half the things that happened. progressing, i guess.

-- note to self: discussion in the morning ("if only you knew me"), sorting out courses in the afternoon --

my branch commander doesn't even realize the huge favour she's doing me, by allowing me to use my "special" leave instead of my regular... i'm actually going to be able to take a vacation during the high holy days with everyone else this year ^_^

the first couple of hours at work were spent arbing, then i got given something real to do. spot and i spent about half an hour arguing over how to do it, until we discovered that we were talking about different things. brilliant - but i've done my part now, and i can go off to my weekend :D

the camps bay girl (cbg) called, we chatted for a while. then my boss walked in, and informed me that one of my apps wasn't working... suddenly i'm performing linux admin tasks with instructions over the phone by the lead :S
at least i got that sorted out, but i don't wanna remember the commands i used. why does "nohup" get stuck in my head? at least /dev/null is familiar territory.

bible studies
zen and the art of password maintenance

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

training day

last night i called kc's father to wish him for his birthday. i've finally been invited to join them for the jewish new year :P

i made it *just* in time for the bus this morning. halfway there i managed to catch a seat, so i got to read a bit instead of simply standing like an idiot as usual.

the kid and i got quite a bit of work done, and we managed to throw some important data in the little one's direction. i'm calling him mini-me [edit:piles]. because i have to :D

we went out for a big lunch, to an extremely expensive place in songbird's area. travelling was great, because we all dozed off, and it's kinda far away. the food was great, and there was plenty, so we didn't suffer too terribly.

i can't believe i didn't catch it yesterday: there's been a huge screw-up (something special for each and every one of us seconded soldiers), and the idiots from our original base misunderstood the procedures, and they're treating our base as a physical part of theirs. retards.
i've made sure that if there're any repercussions, they're going down for them.

i went by our branch commander to get a signature for something, and she called me in for a chat. a long chat. an extremely positive and exciting chat that, coupled with the arrival of piles, actually put me in a state of shock. it is unbelievable the difference that it makes having commanders who really care about and look out for their soldiers. and who use their brains. i cannot express in words just how much i appreciate them.

that camp's bay girl (cbg) i met on the phone? she called today, invited me out for coffee on the weekend. very cool.

i've begun giving piles obscure tasks to perform. little missions and things to keep him on his toes and let us see what he's capable of ;)

the bus to work was eerily empty. i got to read some more, quite comfortably. i was just in time for a sandwich, and some good coffee (the cute girl has learned).

yet another replacement: the boss has asked me to begin training one of our dealers to be my second. in one sense it makes me uncomfortable, but if he does have designs to "release" me, at least i have backup for a short while. i hope not, though. i really do like working here.

how not to name your company? TOTALLY.
why do dogs...?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

i'm a grampaw!!

my replacement arrived today: according to the army philosophy, i just became a grandfather... if the person you trained is seen as your "kid" (the kid), then the next one in is your grandchild. and the kid will be partially responsible for him, so that's just how it is.

it means i'm on my way out of our unit. a long, long period of tortured hours is coming to a close.

i cannot describe how absolutely awesome it was to take him around the base on his "form hike". and sit him down and give him the "welcome to your worst nightmare" speech. you see, i didn't actually *say* anything like that, but i got the message across. the kid and i are now officially playing "good cop, bad cop", and the little one is overwhelmed :D

our TL is totally comfortable with leaving me in charge of him. the only negative is that i forgot that i was supposed to ensure that they got a chance to talk before he left the base... whoops :$

this morning, we had an animated discussion over possible new logos for our team. the not-daft girl in our team (there are other girls, i guess "songbird" will do) came with me to search for ideas online... half an hour looking at screenshots of worms and lemmings just flew by.
but didn't really help much. the picture i just posted is what *i* wanted, and she's a fan of the new, cutesy-barfy worms graphics.

about half an hour after we'd gotten back. something clicked into place in my head, and i came up with an absolutely STUNNING concept. i'll display it when it's ready ;)

another highlight for the day. spot just informed me that he was aware of this one, but that doesn't bloody help because NOBODY informed me or the kid. wankers.

there's an enormous button (in production) on one of the screens for the idiot we sat with yesterday. it's description implies that it does extra-ordinary things, creating heavy load on the server and generally being helpful in the extreme. the kid arrived at my desk, completely in shock: "take a look at the code behind it."

so i opened the source, found the button, and double-clicked the code-block. then *i* was shocked:

//this function hasn't been written yet. (--my old sergeant--! GET TO WORK!)
print_message("operation executed successfully. results will be available within 24 hours.");

the system doesn't even inform us that somebody pressed the button. it literally does nothing. fantastic.

i walked into work this evening, and we were in trouble. one of my apps was failing in a really odd way - we discovered after poking and prodding for an hour that there is a really fun non-documented "feature" in the provider's api. it doesn't always return a value. because i didn't make a contigency plan for receiving a null value, the app just choked and died.

more fun api news: yet another function doesn't work as it should. and it always takes ages to figure that out. well colour me annoyed.

in other news: spot and i went out for a smoke, and i witnessed a stealth ember leave the tip of his cigarette, and slowly and sneakily drift into his collar. one second... two seconds... and then his facial expression turned to horror and he began desperately flailing at his neck.

spot, i'm going to miss you while you're in the states. nobody else has shit like that happen to them in quite the same way.

Monday, September 11, 2006

and the good news

almost forgot - i got permission to take leave. i'm SO going to the vortex.

brainf*cked (not the language)

dead-tired quiet morning. read a bit on the bus, but if that's supposed to count as a highlight... i had a sandwich for breakfast with the kid and nystire, then returned for a solid squicking. this idiot that spot and i were going to work with ages ago showed up for a meeting. and i was reminded that he is a moron.

a nice moron. but a moron nonetheless.

the first part of the meeting went fine. during the second part, he requested a fix... the system's been up and running, and -NOBODY- has tested it. not - a - one. our tests were the last time anybody's seen it in action, and now, when we're in the middle of an upgrade that means "no touching under any circumstances", he demands a change. i told him, as simply as i could, that it ain't happening. he took it kinda personally, but i don't care. fool.

my TL and i went on a mission for food - a mission that was entirely unsuccessful. the mess hall was done, the cafeteria was done... sod it, i didn't have lunch. i ate a half a brownie to celebrate 9/11 (we were celebrating someone's one year of having been in our section, which led us to a few funny 9/11 stories. mine's a 9/13 story, 'cause i was inducted 2 days after the towers fell), but that doesn't really count.

another long meeting later, and then i went off to play volleyball. so hot -> so tired -> so sweaty -> so gross. it wasn't the best we've played, either.

due to traffic conditions, all the busses were late - and when they did arrive, they were overloaded. that made things a tad uncomfortable. and when i got to work, the place downstairs was done for the day, so i had to wait until about an hour ago to eat. now i need a digestive nap :S

work so far: fun with webcam. error with bloody stupid incompatible api's from the provider. i confused a call, and it gummed up the works. and it was hard to find. bastards.

that is sad
dodgy, however you look at it

Sunday, September 10, 2006

streamed and sorted

and windows media player has allowed me to rip (without security) the cd, so i now have the disc and my mp3 player is loaded. NICE.

i got the web streaming thing going nicely, but the camera quality is up to shit. i spent some time using it to chat with the wolfman, and then spoke to SxS for a bit... he claims my headset sucks. it worked just fine with the wolfman. go figure.

but skype definitely sucks - using messenger for voice was *far* superior.

i got some confusing work done, and then remembered that sunday is a bad day for testing (the servers are inactive), so i've been working on the asterisk manual, and i'm now going home.

*boom* *boom*

good lord, where to begin?! so i got to the lizard last night; ta2 informed me that kmfdm stands for kill muthafucking depeche mode :P ("mini mini mini"...)

had a really fun night at the lizard. went home relatively early, showered and crashed. i slept SO well :)

i took in laundry, and had a spare 20 minutes to sit at the bus stop banging my head to really good morning tunes ^_^
it's really nice to not care about what other people think about my bad behaviour. i figure that as long as i'm not actually singing out loud, it's all good.

first order of business: i have a replacement!! w00t! haven't seen him yet, he's supposed to arrive tomorrow. and then his training begins, and i'm already feeling better about it all.

the change i made in our systems to make one of our fixes smoother? turned out to be a fantastically good idea. cut down our workload way beyond our expectations, and we're now almost finished the work that was supposed to take us until the end of the week :D

my TL told me today that one day, when i've started a company that deals with real-time, that he hopes i'll remember him and give him a job. that's quite the compliment :)

it was horrifically humid and 'orrible today, which meant being stuck in our office for almost all of it. i suggested that the daft girl in our team switch stations with the kid, so that everyone with decent taste in music could be in one room. that wasn't appreciated very much :P

*what an idiot*
i discovered today that tma (the stunning waitress) lives in my neighbourhood. if i'd asked, i might've... oh, never mind. it's good to know, at least.

on my in-any-event-sweaty way to work, i hopped off the bus at azrieli, stormed through to tower records, bought tool - aenima (in spite of my comments last night, and i'm right now discovering just how wrong the impression i got from really was), and got on the next bus to work... all within 5 minutes. i am *way* impressed with myself ^_^

i have a tendency to keep my eyes open in most situations. thanks to that, i identified resurrection sitting at the bus stop before i got off, so i switched direction and ducked into the kiosk, bought my smokes, put my headphones in (the connection's now damaged. i can't win.), lit up and walked as fast as i could to get away. i'm not proud of my cowardice, but i really wasn't ready to spoil my mood with having to explain to her why i haven't called.

spot wants to kill me, because i'm too happy this evening. bastard! it's such a rare occasion!

he's proved that aside from my blog being an excellent way to remember what i did the day before, it actually has a real-world effect. i walked in to find knife of dreams on my desk >D
legendary, spot. absolutely awesome!

yogi called me up with fantastic news ^_^ (not right to say it here, though :(...)

right - time to work! (ie. play with a webcam... life sucks, sometimes.)

Saturday, September 09, 2006

no rest for the ______

on my way home, i walked past the lizard, and was surprised to find it hosting a party. 8pm? what gives?

turned out to be a bat-mitzva party, so not something i wanted to attend. my mum called, and i chatted to her outside for half an hour, then chatted with wr for a bit while he worked. and then made my way home.

showered quickly, dressed, and taxied to meet up with spot. on my way there, i passed an area that always reminds me of lake. i realized last night that i can't actually be upset with her for not being in touch during the last couple of years - during the first week that i met her, she warned me that she's like that. so i guess i'm back to being ready to marry her at the drop of a hat :P (not that that's ever going to happen, but whatever)

i walked in to spot's gran's place, his cousins were still there. i had excellent cake, we sat around for a bit, and when i got bored i started reading knife of dreams. mistake. now i'm going to have to read it, instead of waiting patiently for the series to be completed.

we went to a coffee shop, and i had a huge (and really good) salad for supper. the waitress laughed at me, asked if i was on a diet. look - i ate a 330g burger for breakfast, i'm fairly confident that it's within my rights to eat a salad for - essentially - lunch, and still retain my sense of masculinity.

spot and i walked through to the zamir, but arrived early. i went to a kiosk to get smokes. they didn't stock gauloises, and when i asked for them, the asshole had the cheek to tell me that i wouldn't find anywhere in the area - so i may as well spend my money there on something that i didn't want. i walked a further 100m to the next kiosk, and bought them there, then returned just to show him. it didn't make a difference to him, but i felt a little better for it. i'm so fickle.

the party at the zamir was awesome. i don't know what the deal was supposed to be with astral projection... apparently it was them playing upstairs from 2 - 4, but when we went up to check, it was shitty. so we spent the night downstairs with awesome track after awesome track.

the only disappointment was a cute girl who flirted with me (and i back), who left in the middle of a great song, when i wasn't paying attention, without even saying goodbye. annoying!

after the party, ta2 joined us (or we joined him, it's his car) for a mission to find food. all the places in that area that are 100% 24 hours a day, ALWAYS open, were closed. we ran into wr at my coffee, and the funny / sexy waitress from last week. she was fascinated by my tat; it makes me feel good to have others appreciate it ^_^

sat for an amusing half hour over chocochino. then moved off to a place ten minutes' walk from where i live, that i've never seen / heard of before. brilliant food - philadelphia steak and cheese sammich, with excellent home-fries (although it was a waste of cash, 'cuz i had about 4 bites before i was stuffed completely... the sammich was HUGE).

ta2 gave spot a ride home, then me, and i was so wasted by the time i arrived home that i simply brushed my teeth and fell into bed.

slept beautifully ^_^

i got up 9 hours later, read a bit, and was then disturbed by some arsim messing around in our parking lot with their lawnmower-scooters. i flicked a lit cigarette at them, but the wind pushed it to safety. for the best, i guess. i don't really want a brick through my glass doors.

i've discovered that i'm going to a wedding of one of my first flatmates on the 19th. i'm trying to decide if i should congratulate them while talking like a pirate ;)
i have no clue what to get them! how much money do i give if i'm a soldier (soldiers are more or less exempt from large amounts), but also working for a salary (and he's one of the big bosses)??

i showered, and took a walk to azrieli, on the way discovering that a kiosk close by sells cadbury's chocolate! YEAH!

i went looking for tool - aenema, but i didn't recognize it because they don't have the name written on the cover. bastards. but i've been listening to samples of the album from amazon, and now i don't think i want it anyway :S

thank you, nystire:
not only do i now have access to those cartoons that i made outside of the army, but i now know the following (from wikipedia):
in ptolemaic egypt, idiotès was a term for soldier
excellent. so we're all professional idiots. at least that explains the general mentality.

oh, and operation acoustic kitty is just awesome.

rob zombie kicks ass. kmfdm too.

Friday, September 08, 2006

nap time

what? no monkey?
creepy. can we use it as a weapon?
ah, i must have it!

and, eh, some links afore i wented.

duuuh... i come with great message

i've finally figured out how to round my numbers down. there's a nifty function in mysql called round(), and round() can round to a specified number of decimal places.

but - wait. the numbers aren't always right. there's a known bug in the round() function, so the mysql reference manual advises using truncate() and floor() instead. okay. i'll bite.

so i add 1/2, floor it, truncate it... and i still get an incorrect round result. the exact same result the round() function gave me. i've been scratching my head over this one enough already, so i start playing with the numbers.

i'm obviously doing something wrong here, right?


well, i've discovered the problem. here's my conversation with nystire:

totalwaste says:
so what i have to do is truncate(floor(x+.5))
although that's only in theory
to get it to return the CORRECT values
i need to use x + .55
why the extra .05, you may ask?
go on, ask


nystire says:
ok, i'll bite. why?

totalwaste says:

sodding *@$!!#$s.

shine on you

i left work last night at the usual time, and bussed through to my old work. it was really nice seeing everyone again, quite a trip to go back to where i spent many long hours answering phones politely. being reintroduced to this girl i met in eilat, in an environment that we're both comfortable in, was rather a good idea.

i left around 1.30am, and took a taxi to the balcony. on the way in i ran into a couple of people i know from my base, so i stopped for a really short chat, then walked into what spot had promised me was a rocking party with fantastic music.

the first 5 songs played when i got in were good, but it was israeli rock and i was looking for hard rock / metal / alternative. after the first five, however, i was no longer disappointed. after a while my TL walked in to say hi - i'd missed him outside. i called over the cute bartender and introduced them, which had some entertaining results :)

we hung there until closing, when ta2 gave me and wr a ride home. well, mostly, he dropped me off at the lincoln, and i finally managed to catch the stunning waitress ^_^

i got about half an hour to warm up - after a full day's work, half a litre of guinness equivalent (murphy's), and a sambuca, i really needed it. we closed the table to get her 50% staff discount, and we played 10 games... ending in a tie, but the truth of the matter is that she's definitely better than me, and i could identify the mercy shots.

she made my weekend. our general chirping was thoroughly enjoyable, and with her hair down and her eyes focused, her body curved just right for each shot, i felt like i was flipping through a fashion magazine. surreal how beautiful she is when she isn't working, i felt like i was playing an angel.

hito me bore*, it may have been once - but now i'm totally lovestruck. and no, i didn't get her number. i'm sure everyone can understand that there are times when flirting just isn't appropriate. everything just was as it was, and it was great while it lasted.

* love at first sight. [i haven't a clue why i chose to reference japanese]

i took a taxi home, showered, and passed out. around 12.30, nystire woke me up, and i went out to meet him at our little strip mall. we bussed through to tel aviv, met up with two of his siblings and a friend of theirs, and went to agadir for a seriously good breakfast. i'm back at work after a slow walk, and now i'm seriously contemplating doing some actual work before going home for a nap.


640K will be more than enough

DOS has escaped! FreeDOS seems to be getting somewhere.

rape the spammer: anti-spamming conviction upheld.

transient documents by xerox, recyclable printouts

TLBSRI (Too Long, But Still - Read It): digital petitioning going very, very wrong

Thursday, September 07, 2006

special forces

i almost forgot about this one: on the bus to work, i was approached by a soldier that i have had the displeasure of meeting in the past. he's one of the "special forces" that i constantly joke about... not very smart, has a crazy look in his eyes, has absolutely no social graces whatsoever, in addition to a tendecy to say completely rediculous and unfunny things.

he began asking me questions, to which i replied tersely, and as untruthfully as i could get away with. in order to throw him off, i began firing off questions back at him. questions that i knew would make him uncomfortable. unfortunately, this didn't get him to back off completely, which was the desired effect.

he was blocking the aisle. every time somebody tried to walk past, i had to tell him to let them through.

"why should i let them through?"
"because they have the right to choose where to stand."

a little later on, i hinted that we'd gotten to his stop.

"no, i'm going to get off at the next one. my bus goes in the opposite direction, and it's a long ride. i want to be able to sit."
"so does everyone. what difference does it make where you get on?"
"less people get on the bus at the next stop."
"so if the bus is full, do you get up for the elderly?"
"it depends."
"depends on what?"
"it depends on whether or not i got there first."
"so you're saying you don't get up for the elderly?"
"no. i'm doing my part for society. i don't need to."
"you're doing your part? i know what you do in the army. you're not helping anyone."
"are you saying that my unit doesn't do anything productive?"
"oh. ok." - pause - "well, what about taxes?"
"you don't pay any taxes, you're in the army."

... brief discussion of why he should do positive things...

"so if i stand up for the elderly, then it's okay if i kick puppies?"

the problem with this one is that i have absolutely no clue as to whether or not he's serious. maybe he's just trying to be funny. but i promise you one thing - i was there. i'm not laughing.

i'm going to the circus! i'm going to the circus!

well, the big news for the day - a potential replacement for me is going to be interviewed on sunday morning. w00t!

one of the girls in our team... the daft one... didn't have a key to our office last night. so instead of locking the door, she barred it using two desks, a computer, and a broom to hold the handle. so when i arrived this morning for inspection, and couldn't get in to shine my shoes, and then found out later why, i was a little annoyed. couldn't she simply have called to see if somebody (me) with a key could come and lock the door?
or let us know what she'd done?

two soldiers i know changed to permanent force uniforms today, which meant watermelon and enjoyable and officially sanctioned wasted time. we had a seriously long-ass team meeting, with a lot of extremely amusing moments. at some point i started getting edgy... the too-much-hebrew thing... but i hung on because the kid was supposed to handle a knowledge transfer.
at the end, one of the girls left, so the knowledge transfer was postponed. i suffered for nothing.

lots of time spent at the cafeteria, and a bit of time hanging around the mongoose's section, and traipsing with nystire, and suddenly the week was almost over!

the kid and i left early, and at work we've had an extremely interesting meeting to define a new project. i've finally finished going through all my mail and catching up on news, so now it's time to get down to business.

WoW inspires using common sense
uh, huh.
frankenstein's sweetheart
job of the year

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


today started out fairly well, actually. it began with singing "happy wednesday to you" - we had marshallows and everything. things were great. wednesday is a happy day, because it's the day before thursday, which is the last day of the week.

i made a comment about breakfast-time being 12 o'clock noon to two of the girls in my team (the ones who, i discovered today, can't stand sneaker pimps, in addition to their hatred of pink floyd, led zeppelin, and anything else not played a million times on the radio).

they began arguing that that's either lunch or brunch, which caused me to launch into a diatribe implicating early-risers as the cause of most of the world's problems, and during which i emphatically emphasized the need to shoot any bastard who wakes up before noon ready to get to work. twice.

anyway, things were going splendidly... but then some stupid f*cker (who has been given an incredible amount of authority for a completely incompetent baboon with severe neural disfunction), who has nothing to do with us (or so we thought), made a mistake that screwed up all our systems. it took two hours to sort out, most of that time trying to figure out what the hell was wrong in the first place.
i had to suffer our client section's second-in-command (our previous TL's SO and a complete moron) whining, a hell of a lot of noise in our office (we have a new kid, we're into negatives as far as personal space available is concerned), and a serious caffeine-deficiency.

i came extremely close to losing control. i only screamed once, but that once was enough to scare the bejeezus out of my teammates, and everybody steered clear. when i found out the actual cause of our woes, i was simply enraged. i took a break, cleared my head a bit (i came back only "seriously pissed off"), and made a vocalized decision to not do any more work for the day.

i didn't quite stick by it, but i came close. i just couldn't bear to see my monitor, or hear my telephone ringing anymore.

during the afternoon, i walked into a j2ee lecture. i caught an air-force soldier, and told him to explain to me what he'd done so far. he gave me a ten-minute run-through, and when i was satisfied (it wasn't very complicated, but as he explained, they had to do it all silly-like for the sake of "practice"), he asked the tutor about the next section that would be taught.

"there isn't one. we've covered all the material."
how embarrassing.

my previous SC is a complete and utter loser. not that i didn't know that already, but i was reminded harshly today. in addition to that, he's sorted out every other bloody section with replacements, when he KNOWS just how desperately we're looking for one for me.

as i said, i did get a touch of work done. it pretty much involved taking a hack that the kid produced and making it presentable (but, of course, no less of a hack). so it's a good thing, but not really very useful.

work work: pvponline's comic for today - spot made it real... he didn't get the reference apropos cats and swords.

some girl from the dating service from last week got in touch with me, trying to untangle my sense of humour. it didn't help that i kept having a laugh with my responses :P

as for the actual work - i'm confused! but i built frameworks around that confusion, so i'm ready for tomorrow night when i have it explained to me in simple, little-boy "lies-to-children" terms.

have i mentioned that i'm completely in love with pandora? i just got served the most fantastic collection of trip-hop and psychedelic rock, and it makes me sad that i have to remove the headphones and go away...

now to change into uniform and go get ready for inspection *yippee*

next cuckoo for moonflake



how advanced we have become

yes, nystire. that will do nicely.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

hito me bore

...because of my last comment

steve irwin 's dead?! WTF?! NO!!
"Why did it have to be Steve Irwin?" 11-year-old Daniel told Australian Associated Press.[link]
because he pokes animals, son.

this does raise an interesting question: does this make the bull ray the most dangerous animal around? nothing else managed to kill him...

today was a normal day in the army; well, unusual in that it was a normal day, but nevermind. except for lunch. i went to the bank, then had lunch (breakfast, really) with spot on dizengoff. that was far better than our mess hall, and we had a cute waitress serving us, which helped with the differentiation ;)

work has been interesting. that's a good thing ;)
the foxy girl (hence the title) just came back with coffee for me, so i thanked her in japanese... turns out the guy who works in her office is learning to speak as well! w00t! study partner!

our boss a little earlier, in all seriousness: "sicko's are our target market."
comforting ^_^

cute :)

Monday, September 04, 2006


i feel... taller. we finished off the day on base with 1.5 hours of volleyball. sweaty, dirty, but not only did i stay in for every game but one, we had a good group and played good volleyball. it was a lot of fun. one of the last points just made my game, however. i went up against one of the better guys in our unit, and i came out tops - with AUTHORITY. that just felt SO good ^_^

i got in this morning to discover that smoking has been banned on our base in all but a select few areas. swak.

i had to meet with a cute SC about something... she's not only cute, but has a huge powerpuff girls poster above her desk. unfortunately, i discovered later that she's married :(

we had a 1.5 hour goodbye lunch for a cute girl who i met and have been in touch with since our first weekend guarding. the first 45 minutes just standing and sitting and chatting, and then all the speeches began. and only after the speeches could we eat... if i hadn't eaten before, i would've been even more irritated. but i gave her my number, wished her luck, and returned

and my neck's feeling better, so i resumed doing lots of pull-ups :)
i'm definitely improving.

i was late to work because of the volleyball, but i didn't miss anything too interesting. and i have plenty to do, so all's good :)

parking ticket
as it should be

Sunday, September 03, 2006

round and not-so-round

well, i've spent most of the evening reading about asterisk. i've learned all sorts of interesting trivia, like power-interference, and that sort of thing.


pandora has kept me going all night (and with monster earmuff-style headphones, i can blast it):
nonpoint, tool - parabola, fozzy - stand up and shout have been some highlights.

oh - and my quote for the evening (terrible hacker humour):
By default, the MARK2 echo canceller is used, and it is generally
considered the most robust. To change the default, add comment tags around
the #define ECHO_CAN_MARK2 line and uncomment another line:
/* #define ECHO_CAN_STEVE */
/* #define ECHO_CAN_STEVE2 */
/* #define ECHO_CAN_MARK */
#define ECHO_CAN_MARK2
/* #define ECHO_CAN_MARK3 */

the really foxy girl working with us came up to me at some point, offering me a bagel as if she was offering a cute dog a treat... and when i took it i got a rather suggestive look. and a most enthusiastic goodbye later on - she's never seemed to notice me before. hmmm.

"home" time. tomorrow's contract time. maybe it won't be a totally crappy week?

broken earphones

ok. so mine were crappy ones. but that's the second time in a frighteningly short span of time that i've done mine in, and it's seriously aggravated me. for the amount that i've spent now, i might as well have gotten a really nice pair and taken better care of them :@

last night at the lizard was actually quite fun, and i got home feeling good. i slept like a log, but woke up like one too :(
so i was a little late. normally it wouldn't have mattered, but i walked straight in to a meeting with our SC. the meeting went well, but my absence had been noted.

we cut the meeting short in order to give the kid a promotion. he's now a sergeant too :) (ok, it's a time thing, but whatever :P)

i spent the morning tracking down the girls from the weekend. success x 2! i sent the one an sms - i hope it doesn't creep her out ;) - and the other one and i sent emails back and forth during the day. also alright :P

we were fed seriously weird shit for lunch. i don't remember what it's called, and it looked like an anemone threw up on my plate. tasted alright as long as i stayed away from the eggplant.

we got very little army work done today. most of it was spent learning how not to write dll's in c. i spent some more time with the branch secretary. she's a little... umm... not sharp, so it's kinda a turn-off. the new kid arrived today, he's as short as the girls, which made walking with the team through the corridor a tad strange.

one of the civilians in our team came with me for a smoke, just as a new group of course girls was being put through its paces. we had a good time sitting watching them stretching to attention - some of them have absolutely fantastic bodies ^_^
but then they were released, and from up close... nothing special...

on the bus to work, i got that unpleasant feeling of "my word - is this guy trying to frott me?", as he moved all the way through the bus to stand way too close to me. i was contemplating asking him to let me breathe a little, but i didn't want to open my mouth in case he moved and i ended up with an ear in it.

at least i made it off the bus unmolested... i think... i wasn't really paying attention to the girl behind me :P

i've finally gotten a useful modification to work, so it's time for a smoke, and then back to the grindstone o_O

Saturday, September 02, 2006

make that call... say "allo" :/

so i made the call, invited myself, and then went out with spot for breakfast. t'was a chilled evening. then i missed the bus. it took 45 minutes before the next one arrived. 20 minutes talking crap with spot while ogling an absolutely stunning foreigner. tall, sexy, with a nordic accent. i wants me one 'a those.

all of us entering the bus were slapped in the face with the foetid smell of soiled pants. and it was squished in there. 'orrible. made worse when some guy tried to call me over to whisper something to me.

do i have the kind of face that says that i want to talk to weird people on the bus? i gave him a harsh look, then looked away. then he tried to touch my arm, i stepped back and said "what?" in my meanest israeli tone. people around us took a step back when they heard the "ars" in my voice, but this idiot didn't get it.

"come here a second!" he whispered urgently.
i glanced at him like i would a worm in my cereal.
"what?" (same voice, more threatening)

the stupid, dirty fucker then half stood up, and breathed a sentence on me that left me reeling - hellish halitosis, i spent the rest of the ride praying that the smell wasn't going to stick. at least i now knew which direction it was coming from. i stared him back down with utter disgust, and was pissy for the rest of the ride. and the only word i'd understood from his revolting sentence had been "pants". which immediately made me check my own for any glaring holes or things poking out of holes (flashback to new year's eve :$)

you know what? that gets me back for that link to the teeth i posted. i can only guess that that's the smell emanating from them that we were suffering.

anyway, i got to her house in time to catch our british relatives. and iced-coffee. and cheesecake. and a fun conversation. good catch-up.

her sister gave me a ride to the bus station, and i bussed through to the lizard. i'm only here because i'm a dumbass, and left my uniform in the office :(

so now i'm off to chill there for a bit, then it's home and apartment-moving week. nothing's ever simple with me.

entering sideways

did i sign up for that? can i blame too much alcohol? some girl pushed me into signing up to a website at the bar, and i decided to go with it (what's a little spam between friends?). i discovered this afternoon that's it's an online dating service. oh well. i filled in some fun details, and i'll just go with the flow:

First thing you will notice about me: ears so large they can overshadow a mid-sized town
about me: yes. erm. it is all about me.

mtv unplugged - alice in chains is awesome. and i've now seen the first 5 episodes of futurama. finally *blushes profusely*

i took a flip through structure and interpretation of computer programs. i miss scheme. can i get a real job, now? please?

dilemma for the day: do i call up her parents to invite myself over for coffee? it's kinda awkward, but we have relatives down from london, and i wasn't contacted to join...

my heroes! soon-to-be ex-heroes?
will this help?
more bus noise. superb.

sleepy weekend

hmmph. 17 hours sleep, interrupted for a 20 minute break to eat and have a smoke. i woke up with giant bags under my eyes. bags for too little sleep, bags for too much. fascinating.

after a quick argument with a cabbie, i managed to get a decent deal, and then a fun walk (getting only a little lost) to meet up with spot and a dutch friend of his. after a short while, we walked on to a cute beach bar called eganu (a play on higanu, or "we arrived"). some very cute girls, and a hilarious conversation in mixed dutch / afrikaans (i can actually understand the guy, but it was extremely well animated :P). a really cute girl came up to us afterwards to ask what language we'd been speaking... silliness ensued. but i do have enough data to track her down and leave her a message to call me ;)

we drank black sambuca, something i haven't had in years. i was fascinated to note that we couldn't light it. apparently something to do with it having 2% less alcohol than the required amount to be flammable. i know for a fact that in sa, we used to light the black successfully... what gives?

from there we went to mike's place. an odd story involving an edible shark later[1], and we sat an hour or two chatting to some girls. i suppose i'll just have to give the cute one a call during the week :P

they gave our dutch friend a ride home, and spot and i went off to my coffee shop, which was pleasant as usual. and the sexy waitress was most entertaining. then a chilled walk back here to spot's gran, and i've been sitting online for the past couple of hours. whoa! time for bed! the only problem is that i'm supposed to go look at the two apartments today, but i suppose in the worst case i'll just take the pre-ordained one. it's only for a couple of months, anyway.

fyi: they DO sell toothbrushes on saturdays in tel aviv. you just have to know where to look :P

[1]yes. all sharks are edible. this one was gelatinous, though.

Friday, September 01, 2006

ball diffusion

someone once told me, "i'm so drunk, that in order to play i have to aim between the two identical balls."
this was while kicking my ass so badly that i thought i couldn't possibly feel any worse about my game.

well, tonight spot and i left work at 1am, and have just returned from non-stop pool. i beat him 17-6, with the majority of the games ending in spot walking around the table with his pants down. that's because that's the penalty for losing with more than 3 balls on the table.

that gorgeous waitress? at 2.30am she told me that she was getting off in half an hour, and she wanted a game. cool.
we never got that game, because the guys at the tables she was serving just wouldn't go home. by 4.30 i was irritated... partially by her not joining us, partially by it having been a long week (and too much pool is just too much), and mainly by the fact that i finally realized that nothing's ever actually going to happen with her.

but i did get to literally beat the pants off spot. and most of my games were alright.

we signed in now... because both of us are actually planning to work. this is just stupid. happy spring to all those in the southern hemisphere!