Wednesday, November 30, 2005

birthday party pics

from saturday night:

the dog, freshmeat, me, the mongoose, another friend
the dog, freshmeat, me, the mongoose, another friend

me and j-girl
me and j-girl

the reason my team leader hates me
the reason my team leader hates me

the mongoose and the ex who left
the mongoose and the ex who left

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

yes sweat

i started off the day around 7.15, and made it to the ministry of absorption around 9. i took the loooooong bus because it got to the stop first, and it stops right by the ministry. i'm not taking it again if i can help it. it would have been quicker to walk, dammit.

so i get there, and they tell me that the "city officer" (a different kind, i can't explain that) had moved to offices right near where i live.


i check, double check, and make them call someone else to make sure. sod it all, i got on another bus and headed back to my side of tel aviv.

it took half an hour to get there, half an hour of walking from place to place only to discover that nobody had any idea what i was looking for, ten minutes to get the right phone number and discover that nobody moved anywhere, and half an hour to get back.

what i haven't yet mentioned is that today was SWELTERINGLY hot. crazy. unpleasant in the extreme.

so i get to the original place - a few blocks from the ministry goddammit, sort out my shit in under two minutes and then return to the ministry. took another five minutes to sort out the paperwork, and then i could go to the bank of jerusalem to sort out my money.

tuesdays are the days to go for soldiers - no need to wait in the queue, and all the right people / documents are available.

as of a couple of months ago, the bank of jerusalem is closed on tuesdays. FARKIN' HELL. i'll have to go back on friday after work.

i then took a bus to ra'anana. i was kinda tired, so i sat at the back of the bus and warped in and out of sleep. things kept getting hotter and hotter, and about 5 minutes before i had to get off the bus i realized why - i was sitting on top of the friggin' radiator. no wonder the aircon wasn't working where i was.

so i got off the bus dazed and dehydrated, sweaty and unhappy. licked the melted chocolate off the wrapper - making quite a mess - and got to the offices of my landlords, where i handed them the piece of paper that was due a couple of months ago.

last night my boss and i had arranged to meet in the late morning (which it was), so i called him. to discover that he wasn't anywhere in the area, and wouldn't be back till late afternoon. bastard. so i hopped on a bus back to tel aviv. what a waste of a long journey.

i spoke to my taekwondo instructor on the phone, i'm going to try to make friday trainings from now on - it's been too long.

i met up with j-girl at the central train station, and we went through to azrieli... just to sit with airconditioning. after a while we took a train back to the central station. it was so comfortable, and we were both tired, that i wanted to just miss the station and rest a while, then return a bit later. she agreed, but when the train stopped she jumped off anyway.

bummer. i would've enjoyed that.

waited for her bus, said goodbye and went to work. i arranged some stuff with the girl in charge of shifts, and got a neat gift from the company for my birthday - a voucher for a few books. nice ;)

snacked, sat online for a bit, then bussed to the supermarket to collect my monthly free goodies. floccinoccinihilipification? i guesstimated wrong - i had to pay 1.3 shekels over the amount i expected. not bad!

i then bussed back home, which included an unpleasant interaction with some old guy who didn't appreciate two of us having opened the window. it was all hot and sticky, and he was the last one on. that's not cool. he didn't stop harrassing me till i got off the bus.

dropped my gear off, and walked a bit to the hardware store and replaced my shower head. bussed back. spoke to j-girl on messenger, turns out she spent the last hour checking out SB on the internet - girls. always got to compare themselves against the ex.

my commander called, to make sure i'm alive. i hope no soldiers are in trouble again. they usually only do that when there's a reason.

i'm about to check if my new shower head fits. and then probably go to bed. my computer's been making a horrible intermittent squealing sound since this morning, and if i take it to the computer store here it'll cost me 120 schmecks just to check. and i'm not in any way inclined right now to check it myself.

i was contemplating going rollerblading tonight. it's a definite maybe.

off to shower

t'was a really nice evening. all three of them are actors, so there were a lot of actor jokes - some of them were hilarious, some went slightly over my head.

i got home about half an hour ago, after a very pleasant walk... now for the important things before tomorrow :P

Monday, November 28, 2005

a silly one!

i slept like a baby. kind of. the whole day was a bit weird, because we actually had work to do... nothing really interesting happened. aside from me remembering why i hate talking on telephones - i spoke to j-girl for a few minutes, and i came across as such an absolute wanker. my sense of humour *requires* the target's ability to see my expression :(

our commander kept us on half an hour extra, because he wasn't satisfied with what we'd done. that sucked, as i'm now rushing off (in a couple of minutes, the bus only leaves in 10 minutes) to SB's for dinner with her and some of her friends.

tomorrow's a LONG day, i've taken it off to sort out bits of my life. lots of running around headless-chicken style.

the title of the post was in reference to the work environment today. we're not used to sitting down for long periods of time, so we kind of got silly. figuring out ways to scare the bejeezus out of the scout (had to apologize for one of them, almost had to have him hospitalized :P), and general arbitrary milling around singing strange things. and of course, going CRAZY for that last half hour.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

it's all upside down - including my frown

i started off the day walking to the "city officer". j-girl was supposed to join me, but she arrived in the area about an hour late. i realized as i left my apartment that i'd brilliantly managed to leave my referral on base. this is not the first time.

i came up with the brilliant scheme of the scout taking a bus and meeting me at azrieli with the paper. five minutes after i pitched this idea, he called me back to ask why he couldn't just fax it directly to them... genius! :P

everything at the clinic went smoothly. the girl who took the blood was rather good, and we had an interesting discussion when we realized that we're both, army-wise, in the same situation. not a lot of us around.

j-girl met me as i walked out, and we had ice-cream for breakfast before returning to the base, just in time for lunch. we'd spent the entire time having a very serious argument. nothing spells relationship like a good fight.

i went with the mongoose for humus, which was okay, but we were both exhausted. we talked a lot, and then i went through to his section to see some of his work. one of the guys in his section came to talk to me - his grandfather had passed away 2 hours prior, and it's the first time he's had to deal with a death in the family. there really isn't a hell of a lot to say in those situations. it reminded me of the relatively recent deaths in mine...

returned to my section, around 1.30pm or so. spent a while teaching the scout the merge-sort algorithm, and discussing higher education in computer science. and then we really goofed for a while.

j-girl came around, and we finally got to the crux of the matter. that doesn't mean that it's all gravy, but it's definitely on the right track. i spent the last half hour actually doing the work i was meant to, and in a flash of brilliance managed to complete it by placing the responsibility (for the last part) squarely on someone else's shoulders. i could leave the base with a clear conscience.

i went with j-girl to the train station. on the bus, nearing the station, something between us just clicked.

nothing spells relationship like a good make up.

in fact, twice as we were making out on a park bench, police slowed down - and i have to admit it was quite exhiliarating to continue in spite of the possibility of serious shit for public indecency in uniform. this girl may just be wild enough for me. two of her buses later, she returned to jerusalem and i bumblingly attempted to perambulate to my stop. it took me a good 20 minutes to walk normally again.

i do hope my birthday present from her goes something along those lines

a pleasant walk home, stopping for a quick bite on the way, and i'm now running laundry, and taking a nap until it's done.



my 'ead's falling off

the gang got together for a serious braai - it was really nice. after saying goodbye to everyone, i got a ride through to the lizard.

i only went to the lizard to say goodbye to the mongoose's ex-girlfriend, who's off for london tomorrow.

i arrived, stashed my bags at the kiosk next door, and was then greeted with the sight of an incredible number of friendlies from the base, including j-girl, for my surprise birthday party.

the bastards really got me. i was in total shock for about half an hour.

it was a really nice party, loads of fun. much appreciated ^_^
drinking didn't help the fact that i was completely wasted when i got there... but i spent most of the time dancing on a floor packed with people who'd come for me :)

j-girl is officially off my list of friendlies. she is DEAD sexy out of uniform, but the way she treats me is just not on. i won't take that kind of thing from a relative minor. i'm looking for a healthy, easy-going relationship, not something from a bad high-school movie.

aside from her, there were quite a few other eye-catchers. i wish i'd been in a state to speak.

i've just gotten back, i'm preparing for a quick shower, and i'm praying that'll i'll be able to sleep when i hit the sack. it's been a heavy, heavy weekend - i don't know how i'll deal with the day after!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

jes' friggin' dandy

after posting i went to bed. it's now 11 hours later, and i haven't slept a bloody wink. i don't know why. i've basically spent the day tossing and turning, and watching boring telly.

now i'm a zombie, and in a couple of hours i'm off for what i hope is a big night.

good grief.

cold clarity

j-girl called, and invited herself to sleep over at my place tonight. i really can't handle the game thing too much more - if nothing interesting happens, i think i might have to disengage. she really is too cute to just throw away, though :P

i applied for the green-card lottery. here's hoping i get through to the next stage *thumbs held*

friday night supper was really good. i caught a bit of metoroporisu (metropolis), which is absolutely beautiful. and the story, from what i gained, is great. must rent.

ru55 brought me the liquorice he bought in europe - it's not salted... it's painfully, powerfully mint. getting through one of the sweets was an ordeal. although i'm not saying that i won't enjoy the rest of 'em...

SxS and i met up with some good friends from varsity for coffee, which was most pleasant. did some very entertaining catching up, but it's always a bit sad to say goodbye knowing that without SxS here the chances of us meeting up are minimal.

we joined yogi at ru55's, and spent the morning conversation-jumping. we've just returned to catch some much needed sleep.

when i chill with these guys, everything falls into the pattern it was before we all separated, and my brain kick-starts from the now-usual mindless slogging and dealing. i wish i had some way of keeping my returned attitude at the forefront when i'm out of the loop. i like feeling like a human being, and my present situation army and work-wise would be vastly improved if only i could stop getting taken down by my routine and arbitrary unimportant things.

the night has been COLD though. freezing. a harsh reminder that winter's almost arrived, and big jackets, gloves, ski-masks, and multiple layers of clothing will soon be necessary... w00t! 15 days before i get to sunny sa!

Friday, November 25, 2005

in the interests of serenity

my morning of doing nothing involved finishing all the curry chicken, watching mtv, and walking about slowly in the sun, barefoot on the grass. i feel human again.

i got a ride into afula, bussed to cinema city (missed my stop), and am now at SxS's place. looks like a chilled weekend coming ^_^

tranquility rulez, ok

now to try and remember what the hell happened.

wednesday morning was alright - i really wasn't very productive. unfortunately, our team leader noticed this, and gave us all a Very Boring (and Long) Speech about not doing it again.


after j-girl "deciding" on tuesday not to continue, things went back to the way they were two days prior. so although i appreciated the physical (not extreme, chill) intimacy, it was a tad confusing.

i got all sorts of missioning-type things done - including getting final authorization to leave the country! w00t!

guard-duty was all good. i knew the guard commander from before, and the group was good, so it was all very relaxed. we spent the evening playing "durak", and for my second time playing i did alright. the japanese expression for the week is "watashi no me!", which means "my eye!" - randomly shouting it while cupping an eye is most amusing. i tried to get some sleep before my shift - finally passed out around 9pm, was woken rudely for a "jump" around 22.15: the commander couldn't understand why i was so abrupt after i'd finally gotten some quality sleep...

i didn't really sleep well before the shift - 2 to 6am, but the shift was great. the second-in-command joined us for a lot of it, just because we didn't stop talking for four hours. it was the most interesting guard-shift discussion i've had to date. at some point my team-leader's ex rocked up, and provided me with a yoyo. aside from keeping me awake, there's something strangely entertaining about standing at an army gate with an uzi, "walking the dog".

i got an hour's sleep after the shift, then began some serious rounds of coffee and breakfast. j-girl joined in a bit later, and she informed me that the reason she's not interested is because i'm too nice.

fuck off.

in fact, the more i think about it, the less i want anything to do with her (relationship-wise), because the main thing that i was attracted to was the sense that she wouldn't want to play games. i can't be arsed to suffer another high-school girlfriend.

the mongoose was good enough to replace me on alert, and i hurried home, showered, packed, took the bus to the train station, and got to work EXACTLY as the guys from there were leaving to the circumcision.

circumcisions are never great. there's something very defining about it as a jew:
a) hurt the child in an extremely personal manner, then give him some wine
b) make both parents completely neurotic
c) test the mettle of all the friends and family
d) say thank you to the guy who's caused all the trouble

only one girl fainted during the proceedings. the mohel (dude what surgerizes, like), i gather from sammy's reaction, wasn't most efficient, or didn't use the sharpest knife in the drawer.

but i stood there thinking of daddy sammy, watching his first-born son entering the world as a jew, after converting for love. sammy: you're a king. and you score points for suffering all the speeches, too ;)

i travelled up north with one of sammy's friends, who proved to be great company. although we were caused considerable stress by the bus being 45 minutes late, things were fine.
oh, yeah: and waking up surrounded by people speaking loudly in arabic, and then registering that the bus is driving through the middle of an enormous arab town, is not comforting. especially when in uniform. instant paranoia, baby!

got to the kibbutz - talk about a breath of fresh air - just in time for a superb dinner of hot curry and coconut chicken bits in rice. we all talked quite a lot, and then i totally crashed. slept beautifully, until around 8am, and i'm now planning on nothing until i leave around 1pm to return to ra'anana.

man, it's SO pretty here!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

better? still dunno.

my mood's definitely improved. read on for amusing reasons.

i struggled out of bed, did the dreary dos of the morning, and got to the base on time. my day kind of moved in bits and bobs, i don't really have much of an order for things, because in my head they didn't have any order to begin with.

a) j-girl. t'was going great until she told me that she's not interested in pursuing a relationship. aside from the obvious disappointment, it actually improved my mood. i don't know why. maybe because it's one less thing to think about, maybe because being in-between sorta sucked.

b) i'm guarding again tomorrow. i'd forgotten about that - and that will make it VERY difficult to go to the circumcision for sammy's little one on thursday... must sort something out.

c) formally requesting permission to leave the country.
  1. instead of the ten days "free" i was supposed to have, i only have three. it shouldn't make any difference, but it came as a shock.

  2. they warned me not to tell anybody overseas that i'm in the army, and in case somebody harrasses me they gave me a south african number to call.

    it's not a valid number.

  3. my welfare officer and i got to talking (or: i got to whining) about my present situation. i suddenly realized that with my new conditions, i can resume working helpdesk during the week! and she gave me a bit of a better perspective about my service - i keep forgetting not to assume that i'm going to be released anytime soon, and that i shouldn't think about the fact that i'm sorted on the outside.
d) our new project is heart-warming.

e) doctor's appointment: only two hours after the designated time. i got the referral for the orthopaedist, and one for an HIV test. he told me that if there wasn't any reason to worry, then i shouldn't get it done. he couldn't understand why i didn't approve of his attitude.

moron. they'll hand out doctor's degrees to just anyone these days.

i called to make the orthopaedist appointment - and got told to call back in a few days. i asked the girl to define "a few". she told me to pick a number between 1 and 10. it's SO nice to deal with professionals!

once home, i saw that i've finally got demolition man, so i've freed up some disk space with a new dvd, finished reading judge dredd - goodnight kiss (which is the SHIT), and am about to shower and probably go to bed.

or something. i don't actually know how i feel or what i want to do. but i do feel under less pressure.

Monday, November 21, 2005

not great

so i've just discovered that my cousin whose family i stay with from time to time on the kibbutz has breast cancer. and her son's joining the artillery corps next week, and she hates to see him going into military service.

i spoke to her two minutes after i finished talking to my mother. a serious moan, groan and whine because i'm right now HATING everything to do with the army. partially caused by the good news about my post-army work-status, mostly caused by the severe timewasting, and being treated like a grunt by the most worthless people i've ever come into contact with.

oh, and the fact that i'm so down i can't get any work done. i have no motivation for anything. welcome back, depression! it's been a while! i'm watching my bank account crawling into a little ball, and worrying sick about what i'll see when i get back from south africa may just ruin my holiday.

i'm frightened that my army mentality will prevent me from fully appreciating my vacation.

i spoke to my mom on my way home from the firing range. it's been pouring with rain the entire day, and my bag and myself were soaked. i was placed in the last group to shoot, which meant coming out of two days straight in the army, and having to wait until 7pm to go inside... and fire 5 bullets with an uzzi with a target so riddled with bullets that nobody's capable of checking to see if we hit them at all.

i spent most of today (from 10am) sleeping, or being a zombie. and i've slept so badly that my neck's acting up, and every motion brings me sharp pain to a nerve far to close to my brain for me to be able to focus on anything else. just before leaving the base, however, i saw what the dog's been working on, and it looks absolutely AMAZING. it's actually difficult to see it as a web-application, because it looks more powerful and functional than the original.

my guard shift (2am to 6am) was the worst since my week of guard duty in january. i'm fairly sure i've been sick (cold sort of sick) for the last two days, which would explain the problematic wake-up yesterday, and my getting caught twice having passed out during the shift itself. but literally passing out, i was trying to stay awake and couldn't tell the difference between my dreams and reality.

i didn't get much sleep the night before - and it was terrible sleep. i hate sleeping with boots on, and a gun makes a terrible pillow. my neck is HURTING.

i finished the kite runner before going to bed - it IS a great book, well worth reading, well worth suffering the perspective of a man who's written about well enough that it's easy to HATE him. first time i've cried from a book since the power of one. i think.

the afternoon before guarding sucked. it sucked from the moment j-girl left, because then i had nothing to distract me from the reality of my army situation. lord help me when she leaves our base in 9 days.

the morning was alright - i got to the base late because i realized, after two stops, that i'd left my phone at home. fuckin' A. aside from a few arbitrary things to run around with, i spent the morning with j-girl. it's funny how from the moment i saw her things with her were alright, even though they'd been so screwed up in my head during the weekend. just right. comfortable. the way it should be.

back to now: finishing my quasi-chicken soup and hot chocolate, showering and going to bed. i don't care about anything else right now.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

off to guard

at SB's last night, i saw something entirely strange. her system refused to load explorer - but through the task manager i could run practically anything, aside of course from ie. that's just strange. i'm going past her place for lunch to try and re-install.

we had a much-needed (for me, at least :P) talk, and i felt much better for it.

i walked through to the lizard, which was a good party. the mongoose's boss came to talk to me - after the "work" he saw me do he wants to start a new project with me. he started talking to me about google rankings, and then about a company that spams blogs. i suddenly connected this with a previous conversation with him where he talked about gambling ads, and i told him that i'm not prepared to join the dark side of the web.
he got this innocent look, and said: "well, it's money!"
it's not money. it's my soul we're talking about.

i'm right now in the early processes of waking up - i almost slept in, which would cause me no end of shite. my brain just wants to shut everything down and continue with the completely wicked and lucid dreaming...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

pre-emptive strike

j-girl called. there was something in her tone of voice that sparked something incredibly unpleasant, gave me the creeps. i went for a run (where i've learned that i run approximately 10x faster than i walk), to clear my head a little, and i've decided that i'm just going to stick with my heart and not use my head at all. in this case, it's telling her to back off until she knows what she wants. i'm guessing this will cause her to not want me at all anymore, but if so, so be it. i can't stress for bullshit. i'm semi-human, after all.

i'm off to SB's now, then to the lizard. i never did get around to working, so i figure i'll do the crucial stuff when i get back.

funny thing, i was just reminded that i'm guarding tomorrow. great.

not working

as usual. last night was tres cool - walked to the lizard, had a couple of drinks and danced with the mongoose's girlfriend and her friend... had to protect them from some creep on the dancefloor:

"dude, these two are mine."
"you look like a good guy..."
"i'm not."

the music was kind crappy - i managed to convince everyone to move to the meimad. we finally got there around 3.30, and it was ROCKING. filled with gorgeous girls in serious gothic outfits, and the music was powerful. we went crazy until around 5 / 6am.

i got up around 1.30 pm, from a crazy dream involving getting into new york via cobra-style rollercoaster and manoeuvering over skyscrapers with huge missile silos on their roofs. i haven't really achieved a hell of a lot today. the medsupply project needs a complete redesign, i haven't yet looked at the university work yet... maybe i'll do that now.

around 20 minutes ago i called j-girl, and woke her up... seems she had a longer night than i did :P i really hope she stays over tonight.

Friday, November 18, 2005

sleepy - but quite alright

it has been a most peaceful day. i went out, had breakfast, bought new hair clippers and a huge (and far less plasticky) shower curtain, and did some basic food shopping.

it was a beautiful day, so i spent it inside. it took far longer than i expected, and was more complicated than i expected, to shave my head. i remember it being less of a chore. but the new clippers are DANDY. i gots me professional ones ^_^

i spent the day arbing online, reading news and chatting with friends and family. unbelievably, that covers everything - it's an infinitely long process :P

i just watched young guns - dig that film - and i'm now planning on playing something before either crashing or going out. very seriously planned, my evening is.

sweet, sweet perfection


dreary day in the class sleeping badly and reading some more - chitty: it's a good book, i just *HATE* the protagonist, as a person.

i cut class around 2, went to the base. nobody gave two shits about me ditching. i did some work, and spent some time with j-girl.

i told our team-leader how i feel about the course. it greatly upset him. and i got threatened with terrible things if i fail. sadistic bastard.

we played tekken in the office, ate a supposedly pizza-like substance that i paid for later on, and then SxS called me to tell me he's in the country for a few days. so i waited for the dog, who took his time, and we bussed to herzeliya.

we went out for drinks, then to a park in pituach. the drinks were great.

in the park, after i'd specifically warned the dog to leave the lighter i got from SB alone (i've assigned it rather a large amount of sentimental value), he managed to lose a tiny part. stupid fucker was trying to annoy me, and he managed to ruin a gift whose every use (until now, of course) has reminded me of the good and the bad regarding SB.

considering that he knew how i felt, he's just lost a friend. there are some things i refuse to accept, and such a blatant disregard for my personal property and emotions is one of them.

yogi and fiancee gave me a ride home, and i crashed completely and utterly on arrival.


yesterday is going down as day of the year ^_^

on my way to the course, i stopped in to some arbitrary cafe for breakfast, and started some hilarious conversations between the owner and the other customer. that put me in a great mood, as did the humongous chocolate croissant and decent coffee.

in the morning i got an sms from sammy - he's a daddy!! 3.95kg baby at 18.30 on wednesday: i think that's seriously awesome!

the scout taught me everything we've "learned" during the last week in about two hours. i kept asking "that's it??" we had an okay lunch (although the service, as is normal for that area, was just terrible), and then went back to write the exam.

it wasn't easy, and i don't know if i passed, but i DO know that i was thrilled at the prospect of the course being over. i had a huge grin on my face the whole time, and after half an hour i rushed off to the base. i ran into our section commander, and told him the whole story of the course and the exam, and i think i'm covered in the event that i failed. and he promised not to send me to any more courses.

i avoided the dog, and hung around with j-girl until she could leave. we went to azrieli for ice-cream and crepes, and then walked to my place.

-- blank space --

aside from my tastes as far as hard rock, metal, house and trance go, we don't have any major musical problems :) and my dress sense doesn't bother her at all. in my opinion, that's a good start :P

she was a little shocked when she saw her picture hung up on my wall - until i explained that the paper behind it is my to-do list... then it was okay...

*HUGE grin*

we took a taxi to the train station (*a-hem* running late), and 2 minutes after we said goodbye yogi arrived to pick me up. and we went through to yakimono.

it's one of the most expensive restaurants in the country. all the big cheeses and famous persons go there. we rocked up with a table already prepared, and we weren't allowed to use the menu. mmf spent the night (3 hours of straight eating) plying us with black label and expensive sparkling water, and what is - without any doubt in my mind - the most fantastic food i've ever eaten.

it was all perfect. PERFECT. and it just kept on coming. by the time i got to the dessert, i'd had to struggle to get halfway through my crab, which was superb, but even the tiny morsels of meat were getting difficult to take down. my mouth wanted more, and i could feel my pants bursting. i have never eaten SO much food, and each bite, from the beginning, was simply earth-shattering - i spent the 3 hours in post-orgasm mode.

and then, to top it all off, SxS refused to let us so much as SEE the bill. i must be honest, i had planned to be careful, but after the first round i realized that giving up my month's salary on that place was worth it ^_^

we went through the mmf's place afterwards, where i crashed on the bed. they woke me up and yogi gave me a ride home... it's getting very deja-vu, i keep stumbling out of his car at rediculous hours of the morning, and shambling up to bed.


i have slept FANTASTICALLY well. i'm charging my beard-trimmer, going to buy pita bread and munchies, and maybe a shower curtain. hey! maybe i'll have breakfast!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

hmmph. and urgh. and oh, alright.

what a dreary, long-ass day. the course sucked harder than usual, and i've decided that i really don't give a shit if i fail. so i'll explain to the branch commander that i really didn't want to. and tell him sleep deprivation is the cause.

or something.

i spent most of the class either sleeping, or reading kite runner. farking unpleasant read. i so completely and utterly don't identify with the protagonist, even though he grows up in somewhat similar conditions to my childhood.

everything after his first confrontation is a bitch to read, because i hate him so much. *i* feel betrayed. i guess that makes it a good book, but i don't know if want to continue reading it or not.

had sushi for lunch at azrieli, which was really nice, but not so good on the quantity side. did some shopping, before returning to hell's foyer.

from the course i went home, showered, and got my things together to sleep on the base. the bus to sagirl's friend was supposed to arrive at the stop when i did... it got there 40 minutes later with the next one. bastards. i eventually got there, dropped off the stuff, and then got picked up by the previous owner of my apartment, so i could give her her mail and get a ride to the train station.

she has a MIND-BLOWING bike. that thing just fucks off, and she definitely knows how to ride it. i had fun.

the scout picked me up from there, and we went to the base, where we spent the evening working and playing tekken. did some nice things, and then the scout gave me a ride home. i've just discovered that i managed to acquire a french-dubbed version of bad boys. that sucks ass.

i'm watching the remainder of thrashin', then crashin' so's i can wake up far too early to go off and be tortured.

Monday, November 14, 2005

head pounding

the day was long. and worse than expected. only someone who's destiny can only be filled as a DBA could possibly appreciate the things the demon threw at us.

the scout made an interesting observation today. throughout class, i'm either monged completely, and half passed out, or i'm totally aggro. there isn't a single plus about this course. i can feel my soul slowly, sickeningly sucked into a mad vortex of improbable, pointless paradigms.

one of the guys from the course joined the scout and me at the lincoln, and we played some really good pool - i totally enjoyed it. i then went through for coffee with SB, which was really nice. i'm glad and lucky that i have someone to keep my brain from exploding - she keeps reminding me that i'm human :)

i'm reading kite runner - it was a bit of drudging at first, but it's begun to appeal to me. i've definitely read worse.

i've just watched the first half of thrashin' - totally cheesy and not half as good as i remembered it. but still fun. i don't think i'll be saving it carefully :P

gonna shower now, then crash into the netherworld. my brain's imploding, implored by my body to slow then seizure.

it's magic!

i eventually got back to the base. around 20.30. spent the evening playing tekken, playing durak, watching a wandering magic show (don't ask) which was fuck-off impressive, and oh yeah - working.

that about covers the army stuff. spoke to j-girl for a while, but i ended up with a weird feeling that all isn't as rosy as i'd like it to be. we'll see, if we ever actually see each other.

got up dying this morning, and was brushing my teeth on the way to the bathroom and walked straight into a large group with a video camera. looking my best, really. quite the wake-up. and the dog actually made it to the base on time this morning, which really amazed us.

we had a shitty breakfast, and have more or less just arrived for day 2 of the hate.

<over and out>

Sunday, November 13, 2005

... sickly...

torturer woke me up this morning ten minutes before the alarm went off. i flat panicked, certain i'd somehow overslept.

we went our separate ways at azrieli, i was on the base for an hour - getting a little work done - and then went with the mongoose back to azrieli. getting a bus to the college-type place was hell.

the class is hell. it's a complete and utter waste of time, boring as hell. it's not that i haven't learned anything at all, just nothing important. and it's a course geared for people who have never programmed in their lives.

lord help me.

everyone goes crazy about the lunches. i was horrifically unimpressed.

the scout and i went to the lincoln, played pool, and i've just gotten back to shower, then i'm off to the base.

j-girl's on her way to a wedding, so i told her to call me when she gets back... probably around 3am. it's sad to say, but not having seen her since she became "available" has been driving me crazy.

i think i've had enough to drink, thank you.

i took a taxi to rabin square, but only because i was late. ran into my cousin from australia there, she told me she's leaving in a couple of weeks... i'm not sure she'll be in touch before she goes. just a suspicion based on the fact that she's been here a year and has called me once.

j-girl called me to say she couldn't make it, on account of laziness. i think i can deal with that ;)

the memorial was alright - some of the speeches were powerful, including bill clinton's, and david broza gave a fantastic performance.

i walked to the lizard, the party was really good tonight. i left around 1.45, a friend of mine from taekwondo (a long, long time ago) is crashing here. he was most amusing while blowing up the air-mattress, and i haven't laughed that hard in an incredibly long time. my stomache still hurts. that on top of drinking too much (barely ate all day), and i'm about ready to sleep.

i lost control of my toothbrush. that's never happened before. it just flew into the shower while i was in the middle of brushing... dammit.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

clean room

that's a personal pun related to the medsupply project. if you're not me, ignore it.

i finally cleaned my apartment - it's taken me long enough. i got nowhere with the project, because i've been stomped in the face by a major design flaw that was brought to my attention during the meeting the other day. now i'm st(u/o)mped.

the mongoose came over, bringing good shuwarma (during my cleaning, made a mess, as usual), and we did some beautiful, if not particularly complicated, work on the lizard website. didn't improve the website itself - there's no helping that one - but as long as what we do is good, i don't care.

j-girl may or may not be coming to tel aviv tonight. tonight is the memorial for yitzchak rabin. tonight is a party night. all rolled into one. must figure this one out.

it's a beautiful day ;)

i watched about half of runaway jury last night - so far, fantastic film. took bloody long enough to get hold of, though...

yogi called me, and picked me up and we went through to mmf's. awesome pad, right smack in the middle of dizengoff. it was great fun, i haven't just spent time with the two of them in ages, and when we left at 4am, i was exhausted... i crashed on impact with my bed.

two plans for today: clean apartment, work. i'm listening now to golden earing - radar love: ah YEAH!

i MUST buy a digital camera. especially before getting to cape town.

Friday, November 11, 2005

and patience wins out!

my cheshire cat has returned! and solidified! (apparently, i still have to get up the tree-trunk)

i went to sleep, and 22.30 she woke me up to talk. her situation improved overnight - partly because of me ^_^ - and now we're going to see where this takes us.

i, for one, welcome my new female overlord. *end slashdot quote*
who, thankfully, has messenger. much easier on the radiation and phone charges.


i bladed to the dog's, we went to the beach, and then i bladed back. i'm sweaty and sandy, but i've had a chilled day. i'm planning on showering and crashing, and then doing some heavy-duty partying.

oh yeah.


i woke up quite early this morning, and watched wayne's world 2. i've only ever seen the ending before, and the film is MOST amusing.

i then had a shower that was REALLY worth mentioning. firstly, i stepped in and immediately jumped out shaking. HUGE bloody spider sitting near the drain. ENORMOUS. it took me a few seconds to slow my breathing and shower him to hell. i hope he doesn't climb back this way.

1) serious soak in steaming hot water, when my apartment is chilly. that was amazing.

2) i have a bit of hair now, and i'd forgotten how nice it feels to lather and massage shampoo and then let it slowly run off. felt really good.

i've done my weekly shopping, and am now planning my day - i'd like to do the beach thing, it's an AMAZING beach day ^_^

Thursday, November 10, 2005

i look just like buddy holly!

and she's just goddamn gorgeous.

it was a most pleasant morning. the bus ride was okay. the scout and i began the day with forms missioning, which took a HELL of a long time. lots of walking about collecting signatures.

i got very little actual work done today. mostly due to the fact that j-girl was sitting with me for most of the time i was in my office. the dog's mother came to visit, which was amusing. we had a section meeting, and decided that we're going to put to a vote whether to spend our hard-earned "cash" from yesterday on a weekend trip up north, a day at the mountain-climbing wall, or paintballing. we discovered that it's possible to sign out a bed from the quarter-master's store, which means next week will be spent studying, working night hours, and playing tekken.

around 5pm j-girl and i left the base, and bussed through to the waffle place in tel aviv. i'd intended to have a waffle, some coffee, and then show her around the area. instead we realized, at 20.45, that we'd spent about 3 hours talking. and almost date-like, too.

we've agreed that until further notice, we're at the very least defining ourselves as friends. that doesn't mean a hell of a lot, but the evening was extremely intimate, and i learned a lot of things about her that not only make me more crazy about her, but also gave me a better understanding of what's happening with her relationship-wise. and i can totally relate.

to sum up, we're in a weird state of essentially dating... but not. at least we understand the logic. the part of the story that amuses me no end is that her parents are already enthusiastic about me, and they haven't met me yet ;)
everything's on an extremely positive maybe.

i've realized what it is about her (and girls in general) that i find so fantastically attractive. it's that it's immediately apparent from her attitude, both physical and emotional, that she easily connects with other people, physically and mentally. i find the words detract from the point i'm trying to make, but essentially it boils down to sexual warmth and self-confidence, in addition to being entirely agreeable on a mental level. it all feels right. totally comfortable. no worries, and nothing to be embarrassed about.

i saw her off at the train station, then took the next train, and walked home. i'm going to do absolutely nothing tonight. primarily because my brain is buggered.

drunken ramblings at sodthis o' clock

i walked to the lizard, had a beer, and worked a little. the mongoose began doing something, and my body suddenly realized how completely wasted it is, and i slumped onto the desk. the boss kept walking in, and i kept raising my head and then dropping off again. i don't know how long this went on for, and then suddenly i realized he was asking me to do something.

so i did it. it worked fine. he was impressed, i no longer have anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to my "free" lunch, and i walked home.

as for j-girl: it's not that i'm barking up the wrong tree. it's that i'm sitting at the base of the tree, staring up and wishing that the cheshire cat would come back. even for a little bit.

i've lost some morals this night. i've decided that i'll settle for any decent-looking girl who'll be good for physical "companionship". sucks, but then i am a touchy-feely kind of guy. maybe i'll still feel this way by morning.

looks like it'll be a rough morning, either way.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

a forest and a broken heart

alright. i just got off the phone with j-girl, which was one of the more difficult conversations i've ever had. i called her up to tell her exactly how i feel. it was a bit silly, really, because i knew i was doing nothing more than getting it off my chest. nothing's changed, except now she knows exactly how i feel.

makes me feel all vulnerable, like. she took it pretty well (although it was over the phone, so kind of hard to tell), and said we'll continue talking about it tomorrow. i suppose all that's left to do is get over her a bit and carry on hunting.

which kind of makes me sad.

back to the day:

i got up at 5.30... wait. i lie. i woke up at 6 after abusing the snooze function. i was out the apartment by 6.30, and within 30 minutes had arrived at the induction base. half an hour later the dog showed up, and our section commander picked us up and we went to a forest near jerusalem.

we spent the day doing really entertaining team-building exercises. considering the fact that we've all been working together for the better part of the year, there wasn't much need, but it was fun. although, to be honest, i'd still prefer to have done some more work today. in fact, we spent a lot of the day discussing how we're going to proceed with the system.

oh, and they fed us. they fed us WELL.

our section won all the activities, and the prize was a free bungee jump. now, it was a team-building day, so surely they should have given EACH of us a jump? we've decided that instead of killing each other to use it, we're going to sell it and buy a hi-fi system for the section. the sooner the better, because the scout and i are planning on sleeping on base most of next week so that the course we're taking won't stop us from making the deadline.

the funny thing is, that when we get to the deadline all we need to show is a slide presentation with the potential capabilities. what we want to show is the system actually working, with the two most difficult screens already done. and it looks like we may get it right!

the scout and i got dropped off at the induction base afterwards, and i came home and worked a bit on the medsupply project. half an hour later the ceo and my contact rocked up to define the test data for the finished product.

instead of doing that, i gave them a demonstration of what exists so far, and we had an extremely enlightening discussion of how things really need to work and what's missing. it was most productive. aside from the fact that they're quite pleased with me (even though most of the system is still theoretical :P), they told me that it's high time that i decide how much money i want so that they can begin paying me.

i'm going off in about half an hour or so to the lizard for their alternative music night, and to work a bit on their site. oh, and to drink. a lot. my conversation with j-girl really was a strain. and without her as a good excuse, i've got no real incentive to quit smoking. so i'm disappointed with myself.

sometimes life just isn't fair. i find it harder and harder each time i realize this to accept it. it sucks just wanting things to be different.

speaking of fair, i forgot to mention yesterday that i spoke to the south african zionist federation yesterday about my apartment, and they've told me that i don't have to worry, i can stay on after my contract is over for four months, because they're not sure exactly what's going to happen due to all the renovations. not only do i have less pressure (and none about apartment-hunting), but it turns out that the rent increase won't hit me so hard because of my soldier status.

that's good news right there!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

rather sporting, i say

what a day. i got to bed at 2am, or thereabouts. i woke up *a-hem* clean-shaven ;), so less stress, and got to the base more or less on time.

the scout and i began the day with a 3/4 hour coffee run - generally frowned upon - and when i got back j-girl was already around. amazing how much better that made me feel.

i had a quick chat with my team leader, and he told me he wanted to talk to me, so we made our way back for another coffee run. turns out he's going to find out very soon when he's leaving us. and then we have the honour of discovering who our new team leader will be, even though everyone knows that i'm it. i'm so glad our team exists outside of the general politics.

got rather a bit of work done, then went off to pre-game volleyball practice. was an excellent use of an hour. i took a ten minute break, then came back and we began the semi-final.

we were up against the other first-rank team, neither of us with any losses. aside from two switches that made no sense, i was in the entire game. and i played well. play of the game is mine - i made an almost impossible shot from under the net, which actually rolled on the net itself before deciding to fall the other way ^_^
another awesome shot - the ball came at me with the sun almost directly behind it, and all i saw was bright light, and a slight shadow to my right. i somehow managed to get my hand in the right place, and caught the ball so well that even my easy set doesn't compare :)

all in all, it was great fun - and it's the first game we played where we could honestly congratulate the other team for a game well played :)

i sent a rather cocky email to our entire branch, saying that we don't need to get excited, we'll win the final either way. one of the girls responded angrily, saying that pride was what led to the yom kippur war. it's bloody volleyball. it's supposed to be fun. idiot.

i spent the rest of the afternoon working, and we all stayed late. such a good feeling, especially when we don't HAVE to be there :) we've begun on the integration - and i have to say that the system has exceeded our expectations in every respect, and it's not yet completed, and we haven't even begun implementing the actual design. even vanilla, it's far superior to the oracle stuff. it's always nice to be right.

tomorrow we have some sort of trip for our branch, i'm not sure how i feel about that.

j-girl is driving me crazy. she's in a difficult period relationship-wise, and i'm rather impatient. i'm sure wanting to be with her isn't a good idea, but i don't want anyone else. and i barely know her! she's just too damn gorgeous. that's the problem right there. quitting smoking would be much easier if i didn't only see her for short intervals.

i'm supposed to be working, but i can't focus. earlier the scout was explaining something to me, and i literally passed out during one of his sentences - he wasn't too thrilled. maybe i should just crash.

cigarette count: after really not trying for days, i've had one cigarette the entire day. i'm now fighting with myself about going and buying, not only because of j-girl, but because the dog's trying to quit too, so it's not right that i fail :P

i'm alive!

yes - VERY alive. and filled with goo.

i actually succeeded in getting to bed early last night. i woke up cockfart (5.30) in the morning, and made my more-or-less dazed way to the medical base. i got the injection, and i'm pretty sure the result was psychosomatic - after a while everything i saw was tinted, and i didn't feel too good.

the test itself was fine, although the doctor really irritated me because he kept telling me to only remove my dog-tags, belt, and boots - even though i was covered with metal objects. idiot.

after the test, i had to wait a bit for the results. once i got those i left for my base.

the results interest me - i'm going to try to scan them so i can post them, they look great! my spine is highlighted, my neck is bright. what interested me is that my tailbone is so bright everything in that region is indistinct. IANAD (doctor, duh), but it seems to me that i may just have a problem there. and i thought i'd just bruised / sprained it somehow.

i was almost at the bus station when they called me to come back - there'd been a problem with the results. so i went back, had a normal x-ray on my thigh (?!). they gave me this tiny plate to cover my privates with, and i expressed my unhappiness with the lack of consideration for my future generations.

i had to wait another half an hour for *those* results. while sitting and having a smoke (yes, i've been bad), i noticed two guys walking around handcuffed to each other. it took me a while to register that one of them was in a PA uniform - the only one i've seen until now was confiscated by a cousin of mine after he'd been in a gunfight with them - and then i realized that everyone in the area was giving them a wide berth.

i gave the man his last cigarette before he got taken to the wagon headed for prison. i thought that was pretty cool.

i got the results, and apparently everything's fine with my thigh. go figure - i was getting all excited for another excuse to be released.

long, long bus-rides back to my base, and once i got there i discovered a few things that needed doing. office work was all good, but our deadline has been pushed forward two weeks. totally unfair, but i'm thrilled that we'll make it in spite of that.

i LOVE good design.

the mongoose needed someone to replace him for an hour, so i managed to organize myself an uzi unofficially ;), and performed some arbitrary missions that needed doing. i replaced the mongoose for that hour - much, much easier to do one hour as opposed to four, and it was my first time guarding in almost a year without smoking.

nice one ^_^

i did a bit of work before the dog and i left for the airport to pick up his mom. gosh that sounds dodgy. there was a problem with the train schedule, so i left him to go on alone and stopped by the office. there was a shift in progress, but few calls, so we had an entertaining time, and i got to clear my mail.

one of the mails was from the boss, trying to find out who installed lemmings on a workstation. whoever did that will probably get a warning, maybe even fired, because installing ANYTHING on a workstation is strictly forbidden.

yes. it was me. but it had told me that it wouldn't install anything! it lied!!

i made myself a sandwich, then bussed to azrieli, then walked home. i spoke to my mom for half an hour, then called j-girl to invite her to a j-pop/rock hentai party at the lizard (with an offer to stay over afterwards). she didn't accept the offer, but the conversation went well... i think.

i then went off to said party. on the way, i thought about how to say "that guy over there is my friend" in case they wouldn't let me in (the mongoose is the manager, as i've said): ano kata wa watashi no tomodachi desu. i practised it until it was smooth, but my expectations were off completely.

the party was a large group of russians, some funky j-pop, and everybody dressed and acting very strangely indeed. cute girls flashing constantly was alright :P, but all the guys being dressed up as girls didn't really fly, and whenever they stopped the music to announce something it was always in russian.

very, very odd vibe.

the mongoose's father picked us up around midnight, and dropped me off here. i now have some work to do for the medsupply project, and then i'm shaving my face (thanks schpat for making me specify; maybe i think of you while scrubbing my nuts ;> hmmph, that wasn't nice at all. sorry. i was just kidding anyway. it's an israeli thing.), showering and sleeping.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

weird, weird day

i crawled and slothed out of bed this morning, being extremely grateful for the presence of mind i'd had to shave before going to sleep. i rocked up at the city officer, and ended up with the worst dentist i've had so far. the anaesthetic was so bad that i suffered the pain of the drilling because i didn't want to have it redone.

nothing like spitting blood and metal in the morning. and the two newest fillings are clashing - i'm sure that's not right. i can't close my mouth comfortably.

after working an hour, i realized that i've been suffering a worse case of absent-mindedness in the army than i have with the medsupply prog. i discovered that my code has been fine the entire time, but i've been testing it with the wrong data.


even the kid had a good laugh when he found out what i'd been struggling with.

funnily enough, my delegation skills have left me with nothing to do. once i completed my bit, the kid had to integrate it into his side, and as for the rest the dog is responsible for the final blow-out when he gets his shit working. so i spent the rest of the day finding ways to amuse myself.

i played volleyball for an hour or so - the firefighter was deliberately trying annoy me, and that annoys me. our team for the next game (next monday), which is against the other first-ranking team, is shite. all our good players are going to be unavailable.

i got a phone call from the american kid i took care of for my community service - a lot of gaming talk. i explained to him that it's nigh impossible for me to get to netanya, and i told him to bus down here sometime. i find it interesting that he looks to me for guidance with the real-world stuff - i must have done something right ;)

i sat with the mongoose for a few minutes on the design for our new project, and got our team-leader to agree with me on a name for the system. nexus, when spelled in hebrew, comes right out as an acronym for what it does. nice!

i spent the late afternoon eating salted liquorice and clearing email, and helping out the kid with his work. i ate a meagre supper on base, and bussed home discussing german vs. japanese with someone random. it was a beautiful evening, albeit chilly, and now that i've done my online stuff, i'm going to shower and crash early - i *am* worried about the examination tomorrow!

i'm currently holding my own in a cute hebrew sms conversation with j-girl - much easier when i get to think about what i'm saying ^_^

-almost- ready to face the week

i just realized i only have to be up at 7.15, so i feel better already!


work was pleasant enough... i had some hardy calls, but nothing too serious. got sucked into a new game on miniclip called motherload, and worked a bit on the lizard's website. i'm slowly earning my free beers ;)

i then walked through to the lizard - dressed all spiffy for winter, with my half-gloves and big fuck-off jacket. not only do i feel good dressed like that, but it drizzled a bit and i had nothing to fear ^_^

j-girl hadn't called me, so i was feeling a bit agitated...

i was at the lizard for a short while, before i got a ride to the mossad - a club i've heard lots about. there i met up with one of the mongoose's ex-girlfriends, and the scout and a friend of his. it took ages to get in. AGES. they have three dancefloors - one for weird happy-clappy metal, one for generally good stuff, and one exlusively hip-hop that wasn't bad at all.

we spent most of the night dancing, but the average age was 18, and there weren't enough attractive girls to make it worth it. because i'm worried about this radioactive examination on monday, i made a comment to the mongoose's ex about needing to get a girl pregnant this weekend... and she offered. i don't think she was serious about the pregnancy, but i think she was about the sex. so i had to explain to her the rules about not sleeping with good friends' women.

she wasn't impressed. and don't think i didn't think about sleeping with her at all, we danced together all night and on the hip-hop floor it got a bit steamy...

i walked home around 4am, and the club is FAR from my place. it was an extremely good morning for a walk, ignoring the fact that i was so exhausted my body ached for each step. i walked through one of the most dangerous areas in the country - all things being relative, of course - and have discovered that i live on its border. nice :P i love the name when translated to hebrew: "the hope" :D


of course, i *had* to play syndicate while waiting for hot water. it kills me that the last time i played i was a young teenager, and i was sure that when picking it up again i'd be disappointed. i'm enjoying it even more now! some things never get old. and to think that the sequel sucked SO badly.

i slept until around 11, woke up for breakfast and the wonder years - i find i get too embarrassed on kevin's behalf to keep my eyes on the screen sometimes - and then went back to sleep until about 3/4pm.

i spent the afternoon / evening working, and got quite a bit done. i wasted an hour because i forgot a simple "feature" of vb (function returning) that's quite different from real programming languages, and only discovered the cause of the problem once all the surrounding code was absolutely perfect. swak.

j-girl called! we spent half an hour talking... she finally REALLY dumped the boyfriend (that's what i thought happened last time, so i'm hoping this time it's for real). it's the first time i've ever discussed genital shaving on the phone, and in hebrew it was especially difficult for me. in general i hate telephones, and i find it much harder to express myself in hebrew when the person i'm talking to can't see my face. i hope i didn't blow some kind of test :P

turns out she's only coming back to base on tuesday, so maybe i'll speak to her again in the meantime. i'm trying to convince her to come and spend a night with me in tel aviv... *hint* *hint* (and a few nudges)

i walked to the lizard, and spent half the night dancing, half the night sitting in the kiosk and talking to the mongoose's friends. i rate half our base was there tonight - we're all going to be screwed up tomorrow morning. some girl waved at me on the dancefloor - kind of cute - and i only later learned that i'm supposed to know her from the base. she's was quite upset when she realized i didn't have a clue who she was...

the owner called me into his office - the mongoose was sure it was about all the freebies... he made a comment about it not pleasing him. turned out he wants me to do a few more things on their website. and he's well impressed with the updates i've made so far. three thumbs up! (one of them mine)

i just got home about half an hour ago, gonna shave and shower, and then crash like a king. ooh - hido you bastard! i've been looking for baby learns to ride for years, because i was SURE that's what you told me the song was called - i discovered earlier that i actually HAVE the damn song, and it's called baby wants to ride... i feel so blonde!

Friday, November 04, 2005

back to work

i got a ride to a nice bar, where i met up with the dog and crasher. after a beer and a rolled smoke, i drove myself home, and crashed for a few hours.

i got up and worked - with good design, the actual work becomes a breeze. i see myself getting a lot done this weekend. i played some incredible syndicate missions. i love that game. no - i really love that game.

i watched the first few minutes of boondock saints - i'm itching to see it again. i walked to work, have pretty much done all my internet arbings for the day, and am waiting for work to start...

cigarette count: 1 yesterday. 1.5 (that rolled one wasn't much) today. from 2 packs a day, i'm rather proud of myself. j-girl still hasn't gotten in touch. i don't know if that means anything. i guess i'll be doing some hunting tonight :P

not entirely surprised...

The Devil Card
You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil's call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil's gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by

anyways, a comfortable walk to work, and a good supper - but it's been an arb night. i'm bombed, but i HAVE to go do something before going home. have to. almost finished :)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

every so often...

i get to smile a lot. a whole lot.

i got to bed really early yesterday evening, and i woke up this morning before my alarm. and i felt good!

i made the early bus, and combining that with my leaving at 6.30pm, that lets me go home 2 hours early on sunday. or monday. or whenever ^_^

we started off the day with a team meeting. it was an amusing half hour, and it looks like our project might survive. a bit later i gave our team leader an introduction to the new system, and took him through all the different sections we're working on. it was actually fun! he had an issue with something, so i found the other s'effrican and we discussed how to deal with database connection pools. basically we came up with contingency plans if our current system doesn't support a heavy load.

once again, large parts of the day with j-girl. i went to wait with her for her bus home in the afternoon, and we finally had a candid discussion about everything. either things really began with that conversation, or they really ended - what can i do? i'll remain hopeful. and as i said to chitty, whatever happens, happens ;)

we got a LOT of work done today - and the scout stayed late with me to work on some outstanding issues. i got something half-working, which is never good, and so sunday will see us with some new types of problems to work with. but we've pretty much completed all the primary stuff ^_^

and the mongoose has agreed to work with us sunday on the design. can't say fairer than that.

i got a call from the medsupply contact this evening, to double check on our status. i plan on working the weekend away, so i'm hoping everything will be cool by the beginning of the week - it's time to get busy on the actual application, and stop farting around.

he informed me that yogi finally proposed today, and the getting-married couple are on their way back right now to begin all the family talks :D i managed to call them just before they left, and it's all rather exciting. the man's a king, though - got together a seriously organized proposal in amsterdam, romantic bastard :P

i have to get to work at midnight, so i'm deciding whether to crash for a bit, or go out for a bit... life is suddenly SO good, that in a weird way i'm grateful for all the shit and stress at the beginning of the week... how about that perspective, yeah?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

looking for my bed

i slept sooooo well last night. i plan on doing that again as soon as my laundry's done.

i got to the base on time, arbed for half an hour, then went off to get another filling. quicker this time, and my smile was okay afterwards.

aside from having some bombs dropped on us by our clients (okay, arguably NOT the best metaphor used when in the army), i spent the morning entangled with j-girl.
knots me up thinking about her, it does. in a good way.

i never actually said anything, but i don't think anything's mistakeable... the only thing now to deal with is the logistics (tel aviv - jerusalem is not such a simple matter). pity about my work hours this thurs-fri, or we would be doing something together.

i really dig this girl.

went to the closing ceremony for a guy from our section's officer's course. the ceremony sucked, but it was nice seeing him get the rank - at one point we weren't sure if he was going to make it. his father is permanent force, but not an officer - it was sweet seeing the two of them in uniform together :)

our section commander gave the scout and i a ride to the induction base, so i introduced him to our main contact and the head of his section, and then we took separate buses home. i've just completed my internet arbings, am about to hang up my washing, and then crash like a king.

cigarette count: 1. and that was after getting home.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

a day just like salted liquorice

i wasn't kidding about starting work in bed. every few minutes the woman i work with beeped me in messenger, and i got up and dealt with whatever needed dealing with, then crawled back under the covers.

under the covers was good. it was cold out.

finally finished the work. and slept like a baby. a baby wrapped in cosy, warm blankets when it's ice-cold outside.

i made my bus this morning, and got myself coffee and chocolate pastry thing before running into my commander from my primary unit. turns out he's moved to our base. and that he's no longer my commander. funny that nobody thought it important to mention that to any of us...

i got to my office, and arbed. our team leader came back, and we had that talk. without our section commander, even - and he was fine with the outcome. i was totally surprised, but it's all good. i also told him he can join us in the work we're doing - i impressed myself by being the bigger man. so we've scheduled a date (tomorrow? the next day?) where i'll let him know what we've done and what we're doing.

around 9 j-girl came in, with startling news. she's dumped the boyfriend.

good girl!

let's just say i spent my morning distracted. it was a bit awkward for me, because i don't want to be pushy with her if she's *just* broken up with the guy - even if he is an asshole, but we spent most of the morning holding each other and talking. and i -did- nibble shyly on her ear a bit.

the thing that amuses me is i really don't want to screw this up, and i think that because i'm trying not to i just might. so i've decided tomorrow i'm just going to go for broke.

at some point the dog plonked an enormous bag of salted liquorice on my desk - i hear it comes from the magist - SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!! the dog's developed a taste for it too, the scout already knew to stay away, but it was amusing to see others (including j-girl) try and despise. fun, because i gave them each a fair warning, and their curiosity just overwhelmed them 8)

had a humus lunch - considering i hadn't been hungry since the day before, i surprised myself by wolfing it down. and i didn't have a cigarette afterwards!

in fact, i've been trying to stop again since yesterday. which is partly responsible for general awkwardness today.

i got some work done before leaving for the dentist. the dentist experience actually smoothly, aside from being left with a half smile... i hate the anaesthetic. went back to the base, did some more work, and then went to work. i haven't been there in a while, and had some catching up to do with emails. i got my army work permit (filled in), and ate something. oh, and had a long talk with the boss, not only about the army (he takes the army very seriously), but also about my holiday to sa.

i took the train, then walked, and am now home and ready for a shower and sleep. maybe by tomorrow i'll be alright.

amusing: our section commander, in his infinite wisdom, has refused to allow us to install a punching bag. is it illegal? no. but he considers it possibly damaging to one's health. i wonder now if maybe he meant his health, but that would be tantamount to calling him insightful, so that's not it.

the mongoose called me to complain that i'd screwed up something while working on the lizard's site. i checked it all out, looks to me like THEY did something wrong AFTER i did what i did. and it's in an unrelated section too.

cigarette count: 5. and the last one made me feel sick. and more important than any other incentive - taste and smell. yep, i'm "selling out" for the girl ;)